What happens to the "dud" husbands after divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two options:

1. Thrive
2. Unalive

Which will it be

Thrive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the women on here are "training" these men!?
Good grief, do you paddle them when they are bad too?
This website is hilarious and clearly the habitat of many neurotic "dud" women 😄😄

My dud husband did the food shopping per his own request as the one activity he wanted to do mostly to save money. The food he bought would be spoiled and we'd have to throw a third of it out. He'd leave dirty dishes in the sink every night I wasn't home and eat garbage level food with the kids. Would never throw anything in the refrigerator away and we'd have piles of stuff that would be half eaten. Eventually his food would be mcdonalds which he just left in the car (turns out he used his car to cheat and so had to eat on the run). Five of the same kind of think all opened. How do you take on one activity for the house and do such a bad job of it and not notice any of these things? And the same thing with every other activity including his job. It was always a half-assed job and he was fired twice. There is no way I would ever delegate a weeklong camp for the kids to him. Not capable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the women on here are "training" these men!?
Good grief, do you paddle them when they are bad too?
This website is hilarious and clearly the habitat of many neurotic "dud" women 😄😄

My dud husband did the food shopping per his own request as the one activity he wanted to do mostly to save money. The food he bought would be spoiled and we'd have to throw a third of it out. He'd leave dirty dishes in the sink every night I wasn't home and eat garbage level food with the kids. Would never throw anything in the refrigerator away and we'd have piles of stuff that would be half eaten. Eventually his food would be mcdonalds which he just left in the car (turns out he used his car to cheat and so had to eat on the run). Five of the same kind of think all opened. How do you take on one activity for the house and do such a bad job of it and not notice any of these things? And the same thing with every other activity including his job. It was always a half-assed job and he was fired twice. There is no way I would ever delegate a weeklong camp for the kids to him. Not capable.

Of course, the only thing the manly men probably read here is that he was fired from his job. Because you know that's actually something that's important. Not how the kids spend an entire week from 8-5 pm. Or how they eat. You know that stuff you put in your body to make you live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

This is just not true. It is not 1965. It is far easier for women

As a divorced man I have to admit this is true. Dating is mostly online these days. And for every 10 likes I get, women will get like 200. And there are a lot of good single men out there for decent divorced women. But once a guy is 50 or so, it’s really tough to find women, exception is only with very rare rich and fit guys. It’s so much easier for women.

As a 39 year old divorced woman, I disagree that there are a lot of good single men out there. Maybe single men in their 30s who haven't been married. But divorced men in their 40s? Not a lot AT ALL.

Are not a lot of divorced men in their 40s but there are a lot of never married men in their 40s and never married men in their 30s. I haven’t looked at 50s. 44. I date men in their 30s. There are plenty. There are almost no men who are divorced in their 40s but that’s not my target audience even though that is who I am. If you are looking for the exact same demographic as you then yeah you’re not gonna find a lot of men but if you’re willing to date men who’s never been married and who are younger, you’re fine.

But don’t they still want marriage and kids? BTDT and not interested in more of either. That’s the hard part about 30s men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.

Because she insists on doing it her way, and that’s the only way it can be done. Schedules camp : listen to yourself. Camp isn’t a requirement; if it doesn’t get scheduled life goes on. The mom may feel she looks bad compared to the other moms maybe.

What do you think kids do all day during the summer if both parents work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.

Because she insists on doing it her way, and that’s the only way it can be done. Schedules camp : listen to yourself. Camp isn’t a requirement; if it doesn’t get scheduled life goes on. The mom may feel she looks bad compared to the other moms maybe.

What do you think kids do all day during the summer if both parents work?

Well, if this pp thinks anything like my ex-dud...he thinks a magic fairy takes care of everything and care for his grade school aged kids in summer just magically appears! He trots out the door for work without any thought, while the wife plans months in advance the summer camp registrations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

OK- but what do you mean by that?

They date many different people?

They find a woman instantly who wants to take care of them and be a sugar momma?

They find the “love of their life” instantly?

What do you mean by easier rebound?

Men generally aren't the default full time parent and only have the kids every other weekend so more time to meet new people and doing adult things.

Men don't have the same social pressure/standards to be fit or always be on point with how they look. I see slobs with gorgeous wives all the time. No one says a word about the slob but if the wife has a off day, everyone comments.

Women seem to have pretty low standards when it comes to choosing a mate (generally speaking) so your dud will always be someone else's prize until they divorce as well.

Men don't care if the woman they are dating are good marriage or parenting material. Whereas Women will always consider her kids in choosing a second mate. This greatly slims down the offerings for women. A man doesn't care if there mate is terrible to his kids.

Women don't mind dating a single dad, but men often refuse to date women with children all together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

I think this is true of most financially secure divorced women as well. All my friends who are comfortable have zero interest in remarriage. It’s the women who are struggling that want it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.

Because she insists on doing it her way, and that’s the only way it can be done. Schedules camp : listen to yourself. Camp isn’t a requirement; if it doesn’t get scheduled life goes on. The mom may feel she looks bad compared to the other moms maybe.

Well for working parents of elementary school age children, if they are not signed up for camp and you don’t have a nanny….you don’t have childcare. Is that really news to you? I am far from a tiger mom (my kids do one activity each beyond therapy for the SN one) but yeah some stuff has to happen.

1. At my office there is kids summer camp (to age 13) for any employee's child. It takes less than 10 minutes to sign up a child for a week or the summer.
2. It also takes about 10-15 minutes for an organized person to sign up a child for 2 weeks of camp almost anywhere. It isn't like have a demanding job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, ladies but men have a lot easier of a time rebounding after divorce than you do.

NP and have not read the rest of the thread. This does not track in my experience. I think the divorced women I know in their 50s-70s are literally the happiest people I know.

It is true they have no interest in remarriage. The men do remarry quickly, but they aren’t happily remarried for the most part.

I’ve found this to also be true of most financially secure widowed women that age.

I think this is true of most financially secure divorced women as well. All my friends who are comfortable have zero interest in remarriage. It’s the women who are struggling that want it.

Can confirm that this is true for me: thanks to a family trust I am enjoying being single in my 40s after a divorce, taking lovers as I please, and never ever marrying again. It’s the friends who need to remarry for financial stability who are choking down all the duds in online dating. That isn’t for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.

Because she insists on doing it her way, and that’s the only way it can be done. Schedules camp : listen to yourself. Camp isn’t a requirement; if it doesn’t get scheduled life goes on. The mom may feel she looks bad compared to the other moms maybe.

Well for working parents of elementary school age children, if they are not signed up for camp and you don’t have a nanny….you don’t have childcare. Is that really news to you? I am far from a tiger mom (my kids do one activity each beyond therapy for the SN one) but yeah some stuff has to happen.

1. At my office there is kids summer camp (to age 13) for any employee's child. It takes less than 10 minutes to sign up a child for a week or the summer.
2. It also takes about 10-15 minutes for an organized person to sign up a child for 2 weeks of camp almost anywhere. It isn't like have a demanding job.

And your kid knows no one at that camp and while it says up to age 13 they really mean up to age 9. It's mostly indoors with "trips" where they take an hour to get the kids together and go out for 2 hours a day and the rest of the day stare at screens. Pretty much every divorced person I know has a demanding job. But nice try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They muddle through and do an ok job with their 50%, but the ex-wife still buys clothes and school supplies, schedules camp and dentist appointments, sets up activities and coordinates car pool because she doesn’t want the kids to suffer because of his poor planning.

Because she insists on doing it her way, and that’s the only way it can be done. Schedules camp : listen to yourself. Camp isn’t a requirement; if it doesn’t get scheduled life goes on. The mom may feel she looks bad compared to the other moms maybe.

Well for working parents of elementary school age children, if they are not signed up for camp and you don’t have a nanny….you don’t have childcare. Is that really news to you? I am far from a tiger mom (my kids do one activity each beyond therapy for the SN one) but yeah some stuff has to happen.

1. At my office there is kids summer camp (to age 13) for any employee's child. It takes less than 10 minutes to sign up a child for a week or the summer.
2. It also takes about 10-15 minutes for an organized person to sign up a child for 2 weeks of camp almost anywhere. It isn't like have a demanding job.

1. I've never heard of this as a job perk but that's awesome! You know 99% of us don't have that right?

2. Hahahaha yeah ok.

[Anonymous]

My divorced coworker brings his kid into the office for the day and the kid sits on his laptop all day. I guess for us that is "camp" since we don't have an onsite option.