DD’s butt pinched in the pool

[Anonymous]

I hope the mom of teen boys who think this is just boys being idiots will at least read this thread and talk to their boys about not touching other people without their consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Wow. I really can’t believe some of the posters on here.

Do you really think it’s harmless fun if *you* were surrounded by a group of larger men, and when you tried to escape, one grabbed your butt?

I was assaulted at the pool as a pre-teen, and it often starts with a butt pinch or something just as “innocent”. As boys learn they can get away with it, they push for more and more. Most of my female friends have similar stories.

My H is LEO, and you bet he would take this seriously and teach those boys a lesson they wouldn’t forget. He sees the predators they grow into every day.

Exactly. I am floored by some of the answers here but given how common sexual assault is, it's not shocking. I think some people really think that it always involves some creep hiding in the bushes. The same young teens who are touching girls without consequence can easily become the same older teens/men who end up doing much worse. My guess is that some of the same fools who don't think this is a big deal blame women for their assaults.

I am nit defending butt pinching by any means, but you all are trivializing sexual assault through your careless use of language. Words have meaning, and calling a butt pinch sexual assault is GD ridiculous.

Sexual assault does not mean only rape. Touching someone/butt pinching is sexual assault. It’s not a matter of opinion. Look up the legal definition of sexual assault.

Yes I know the definition. Explain to me how you know the butt was pinched in a sexual manner? Especially with kids? Again, I am not saying it’s ok to do but I can just picture someone in some sort of support group dramatically describing the trauma of the time when they were 11 and that 13 year old pinched their butt.

And seriously, stop blaming the entire group of boys for what one boy did. Maybe the other boys didn’t even know he did it? And yes DD should have called him out or let her dad do it, but don’t give her a victim complex by acting like drama llamas.

These were young teens but nine year olds. Are you serious? You don’t think they understand that touching someone’s butt is sexual? The excuses…

Do you think if high school football players slap each other’s butts that it’s sexual as well?

Are you comparing that with boys circling a girl and pinching her butt?

JFC. You don’t know that the boys circled her. She was swimming underwater - maybe she unwittingly swam into their group? Did you ever swim underwater as a kid? If she was surprised to be among them then it seems she didn’t have goggles but rather had her eyes closed - otherwise would she not have seen them coming?

Some of you seem desperate to turn every mildly inappropriate or embarrassing interaction into OMG SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! It seems over the top in this instance. And I am a woman, BTW.

Agreed. Another woman here with one son and two daughters (all early teens). Some of you are angry nuts in your crusade to turn this into sexual assault.

Another woman here agreeing.
I've been sezually assaulted as well as having milder forms or "harassment " like a pinched butt.

The HYSTERIA is absurd and does more damage than good. It reminds me of kids coming home from school and accusing the parents of abuse because they yelled at the kid once. There is no discernment between the letter and spirit. Between a rape and a butt punch.

If a girl had pinched a boys butt at the pool it would not garner this mass hysteria
There's a hatred of boys and men that is very sad.
Even more sad is brainwashing girls and women into having a victim mentality over the slightest slight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope the mom of teen boys who think this is just boys being idiots will at least read this thread and talk to their boys about not touching other people without their consent.

Excuse me? I sure hope you are teaching your girls the same. I don't appreciate girls touching my sons butt, biceps, or chest..nor anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Wow. I really can’t believe some of the posters on here.

Do you really think it’s harmless fun if *you* were surrounded by a group of larger men, and when you tried to escape, one grabbed your butt?

I was assaulted at the pool as a pre-teen, and it often starts with a butt pinch or something just as “innocent”. As boys learn they can get away with it, they push for more and more. Most of my female friends have similar stories.

My H is LEO, and you bet he would take this seriously and teach those boys a lesson they wouldn’t forget. He sees the predators they grow into every day.

Exactly. I am floored by some of the answers here but given how common sexual assault is, it's not shocking. I think some people really think that it always involves some creep hiding in the bushes. The same young teens who are touching girls without consequence can easily become the same older teens/men who end up doing much worse. My guess is that some of the same fools who don't think this is a big deal blame women for their assaults.

I am nit defending butt pinching by any means, but you all are trivializing sexual assault through your careless use of language. Words have meaning, and calling a butt pinch sexual assault is GD ridiculous.

Sexual assault does not mean only rape. Touching someone/butt pinching is sexual assault. It’s not a matter of opinion. Look up the legal definition of sexual assault.

Yes I know the definition. Explain to me how you know the butt was pinched in a sexual manner? Especially with kids? Again, I am not saying it’s ok to do but I can just picture someone in some sort of support group dramatically describing the trauma of the time when they were 11 and that 13 year old pinched their butt.

And seriously, stop blaming the entire group of boys for what one boy did. Maybe the other boys didn’t even know he did it? And yes DD should have called him out or let her dad do it, but don’t give her a victim complex by acting like drama llamas.

These were young teens but nine year olds. Are you serious? You don’t think they understand that touching someone’s butt is sexual? The excuses…

Do you think if high school football players slap each other’s butts that it’s sexual as well?

Are you comparing that with boys circling a girl and pinching her butt?

JFC. You don’t know that the boys circled her. She was swimming underwater - maybe she unwittingly swam into their group? Did you ever swim underwater as a kid? If she was surprised to be among them then it seems she didn’t have goggles but rather had her eyes closed - otherwise would she not have seen them coming?

Some of you seem desperate to turn every mildly inappropriate or embarrassing interaction into OMG SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! It seems over the top in this instance. And I am a woman, BTW.

Agreed. Another woman here with one son and two daughters (all early teens). Some of you are angry nuts in your crusade to turn this into sexual assault.

Another woman here agreeing.
I've been sezually assaulted as well as having milder forms or "harassment " like a pinched butt.

The HYSTERIA is absurd and does more damage than good. It reminds me of kids coming home from school and accusing the parents of abuse because they yelled at the kid once. There is no discernment between the letter and spirit. Between a rape and a butt punch.

If a girl had pinched a boys butt at the pool it would not garner this mass hysteria
There's a hatred of boys and men that is very sad.
Even more sad is brainwashing girls and women into having a victim mentality over the slightest slight.

you are confusing mass "hysteria" with speaking up and letting a boy get away with sexual assault.. yes, what happened is the legal definition of sexual assault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope the mom of teen boys who think this is just boys being idiots will at least read this thread and talk to their boys about not touching other people without their consent.

Excuse me? I sure hope you are teaching your girls the same. I don't appreciate girls touching my sons butt, biceps, or chest..nor anything else.

Yup I do. I've instilled the importance of respecting boundaries and consent from a very early age. Too bad it's not something all parents teach apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Wow. I really can’t believe some of the posters on here.

Do you really think it’s harmless fun if *you* were surrounded by a group of larger men, and when you tried to escape, one grabbed your butt?

I was assaulted at the pool as a pre-teen, and it often starts with a butt pinch or something just as “innocent”. As boys learn they can get away with it, they push for more and more. Most of my female friends have similar stories.

My H is LEO, and you bet he would take this seriously and teach those boys a lesson they wouldn’t forget. He sees the predators they grow into every day.

Exactly. I am floored by some of the answers here but given how common sexual assault is, it's not shocking. I think some people really think that it always involves some creep hiding in the bushes. The same young teens who are touching girls without consequence can easily become the same older teens/men who end up doing much worse. My guess is that some of the same fools who don't think this is a big deal blame women for their assaults.

I am nit defending butt pinching by any means, but you all are trivializing sexual assault through your careless use of language. Words have meaning, and calling a butt pinch sexual assault is GD ridiculous.

Sexual assault does not mean only rape. Touching someone/butt pinching is sexual assault. It’s not a matter of opinion. Look up the legal definition of sexual assault.

Yes I know the definition. Explain to me how you know the butt was pinched in a sexual manner? Especially with kids? Again, I am not saying it’s ok to do but I can just picture someone in some sort of support group dramatically describing the trauma of the time when they were 11 and that 13 year old pinched their butt.

And seriously, stop blaming the entire group of boys for what one boy did. Maybe the other boys didn’t even know he did it? And yes DD should have called him out or let her dad do it, but don’t give her a victim complex by acting like drama llamas.

These were young teens but nine year olds. Are you serious? You don’t think they understand that touching someone’s butt is sexual? The excuses…

Do you think if high school football players slap each other’s butts that it’s sexual as well?

Are you comparing that with boys circling a girl and pinching her butt?

JFC. You don’t know that the boys circled her. She was swimming underwater - maybe she unwittingly swam into their group? Did you ever swim underwater as a kid? If she was surprised to be among them then it seems she didn’t have goggles but rather had her eyes closed - otherwise would she not have seen them coming?

Some of you seem desperate to turn every mildly inappropriate or embarrassing interaction into OMG SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! It seems over the top in this instance. And I am a woman, BTW.

Agreed. Another woman here with one son and two daughters (all early teens). Some of you are angry nuts in your crusade to turn this into sexual assault.

Another woman here agreeing.
I've been sezually assaulted as well as having milder forms or "harassment " like a pinched butt.

The HYSTERIA is absurd and does more damage than good. It reminds me of kids coming home from school and accusing the parents of abuse because they yelled at the kid once. There is no discernment between the letter and spirit. Between a rape and a butt punch.

If a girl had pinched a boys butt at the pool it would not garner this mass hysteria
There's a hatred of boys and men that is very sad.
Even more sad is brainwashing girls and women into having a victim mentality over the slightest slight.

Thinking there is a hatred of boys and men because the ones who do crap like this are now called on their BS is the ultimate victim mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Wow. I really can’t believe some of the posters on here.

Do you really think it’s harmless fun if *you* were surrounded by a group of larger men, and when you tried to escape, one grabbed your butt?

I was assaulted at the pool as a pre-teen, and it often starts with a butt pinch or something just as “innocent”. As boys learn they can get away with it, they push for more and more. Most of my female friends have similar stories.

My H is LEO, and you bet he would take this seriously and teach those boys a lesson they wouldn’t forget. He sees the predators they grow into every day.

Exactly. I am floored by some of the answers here but given how common sexual assault is, it's not shocking. I think some people really think that it always involves some creep hiding in the bushes. The same young teens who are touching girls without consequence can easily become the same older teens/men who end up doing much worse. My guess is that some of the same fools who don't think this is a big deal blame women for their assaults.

I am nit defending butt pinching by any means, but you all are trivializing sexual assault through your careless use of language. Words have meaning, and calling a butt pinch sexual assault is GD ridiculous.

Sexual assault does not mean only rape. Touching someone/butt pinching is sexual assault. It’s not a matter of opinion. Look up the legal definition of sexual assault.

Yes I know the definition. Explain to me how you know the butt was pinched in a sexual manner? Especially with kids? Again, I am not saying it’s ok to do but I can just picture someone in some sort of support group dramatically describing the trauma of the time when they were 11 and that 13 year old pinched their butt.

And seriously, stop blaming the entire group of boys for what one boy did. Maybe the other boys didn’t even know he did it? And yes DD should have called him out or let her dad do it, but don’t give her a victim complex by acting like drama llamas.

These were young teens but nine year olds. Are you serious? You don’t think they understand that touching someone’s butt is sexual? The excuses…

Do you think if high school football players slap each other’s butts that it’s sexual as well?

Are you comparing that with boys circling a girl and pinching her butt?

JFC. You don’t know that the boys circled her. She was swimming underwater - maybe she unwittingly swam into their group? Did you ever swim underwater as a kid? If she was surprised to be among them then it seems she didn’t have goggles but rather had her eyes closed - otherwise would she not have seen them coming?

Some of you seem desperate to turn every mildly inappropriate or embarrassing interaction into OMG SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! It seems over the top in this instance. And I am a woman, BTW.

Agreed. Another woman here with one son and two daughters (all early teens). Some of you are angry nuts in your crusade to turn this into sexual assault.

Another woman here agreeing.
I've been sezually assaulted as well as having milder forms or "harassment " like a pinched butt.

The HYSTERIA is absurd and does more damage than good. It reminds me of kids coming home from school and accusing the parents of abuse because they yelled at the kid once. There is no discernment between the letter and spirit. Between a rape and a butt punch.

If a girl had pinched a boys butt at the pool it would not garner this mass hysteria
There's a hatred of boys and men that is very sad.
Even more sad is brainwashing girls and women into having a victim mentality over the slightest slight.

Thinking there is a hatred of boys and men because the ones who do crap like this are now called on their BS is the ultimate victim mentality.

Perhaps you have reading comprehension issues. Go back over the pages of this thread and show me where the harassment girls do to boys on a daily basis is addressed vs vice versa? This entire thread is about boys. Not people.

[Anonymous]

The problem is the screecher screaming SEXUAL ASSAULT. That's ridiculous. Here's what I tell me boys because of women like her: don't talk to anyone. Deny everything and call us. We have a great lawyer on speed dial.

[Anonymous]

It was inappropriate for sure but it doesn't rise to the level of sexual assault. Here's the definition of sexual assault in Maryland, for example:

Vaginal intercourse, or a sexual act, with another by force or threat of force, without the consent of the other, and defendant:

Employs/displays a dangerous weapon, or a physical object the victim reasonably believes is a dangerous weapon;
Inflicts serious physical injury on the victim or another in the course of committing the crime;
Threatens or places the victim in fear that the victim, or a 3rd person known to the victim, imminently will be subject to death, suffocation, etc.;
Commits the crime while aided and abetted by another; or
Commits the crime in connection with a burglary in the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd degree.


Sometimes you let things go. No need to make a mountain out of a molehill. And I'm a sexual assault survivor.

[Anonymous]

Everyone wants to scream sexual assault. I am the PP that posted about teenage girls pulling down swim trunks of tween boys at our pool. No one at the pool nor on this board gives a rat’s ass. No one is screaming assault or even giving a second glance. But this is requires the police? Or all the boys getting punched in the face?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone wants to scream sexual assault. I am the PP that posted about teenage girls pulling down swim trunks of tween boys at our pool. No one at the pool nor on this board gives a rat’s ass. No one is screaming assault or even giving a second glance. But this is requires the police? Or all the boys getting punched in the face?

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is the screecher screaming SEXUAL ASSAULT. That's ridiculous. Here's what I tell me boys because of women like her: don't talk to anyone. Deny everything and call us. We have a great lawyer on speed dial.

Perfect. That’s exactly what females want: to live their lives without being harassed by males. I’d love it if random guys stopped talking to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem is the screecher screaming SEXUAL ASSAULT. That's ridiculous. Here's what I tell me boys because of women like her: don't talk to anyone. Deny everything and call us. We have a great lawyer on speed dial.

Or you know teach him about consent? Might save you some of that lawyer fees. What a weird response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is the screecher screaming SEXUAL ASSAULT. That's ridiculous. Here's what I tell me boys because of women like her: don't talk to anyone. Deny everything and call us. We have a great lawyer on speed dial.

Perfect. That’s exactly what females want: to live their lives without being harassed by males. I’d love it if random guys stopped talking to me.

Anonymous randos here don't want to talk to you. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a family, read Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley and Maybe He Just Likes You by Barbara Dee. Discuss. (FW is fantastic as a anudiobook…you can listen to it in the car when you drive home.

DD and I both liked this one. It's helped frame up subsequent conversations. I would have loved to read it when I was in middle school.

That's What Friends Do, by Cathleen Barnhart is also good.