Drafted letter to other woman’s husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you do go tell them in person and there are kids there please ask the adult(s) to step outside for a moment. The kids are truly innocent in all of this and yes, their mom made a shit choice for them but that's not their fault and they don't deserve to suffer any more than they already have or will. Please.

How have they already suffered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sending a letter like that makes YOU look crazy.

OP has had enough advice. She lost my support. Seems nutty at this point and explains perhaps why her Husband cheated - if she acted like this in other areas of her life. She can’t even move in. Or she’s a terrific troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ the things people should think about before they f@ck other people’s spouses. They didn’t care about their kids, their spouse or the other woman and her kids. Selfish, selfish awful people. Yes. She should have thought about how the fallout would affect her kids and thus innocent woman’s life before seeking out married men to f@ck. And same with the guy she did f@ck. Playing games with people’s lives.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ the things people should think about before they f@ck other people’s spouses. They didn’t care about their kids, their spouse or the other woman and her kids. Selfish, selfish awful people. Yes. She should have thought about how the fallout would affect her kids and thus innocent woman’s life before seeking out married men to f@ck. And same with the guy she did f@ck. Playing games with people’s lives.

+1

I suppose +2. To the extent you’re saying people like the OW/AP don’t care one bit and sending an email or letter is really no big deal to her. And the husband won’t GAF really.

All they need to do is get divorced. Nobody cares really. You will see upon reflection. Nobody really cares. You will just be some divorced couple. Like half or so of all marriages.

[Anonymous]

^divorce before f@cking people outside the marriage, correct. Lowlifes lie, deceive and commit adultery. Spineless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you do go tell them in person and there are kids there please ask the adult(s) to step outside for a moment. The kids are truly innocent in all of this and yes, their mom made a shit choice for them but that's not their fault and they don't deserve to suffer any more than they already have or will. Please.

How have they already suffered?

Maybe they already found out that mom is a whore that screws other men besides dad. Perhaps the neighbors who repeatedly witnessed her AP’s home visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you do go tell them in person and there are kids there please ask the adult(s) to step outside for a moment. The kids are truly innocent in all of this and yes, their mom made a shit choice for them but that's not their fault and they don't deserve to suffer any more than they already have or will. Please.

How have they already suffered?

If the wife truly has had several affairs it doesn't sound like a happy environment. Who knows, the kids could have heard fights or worse. As a fellow parent I'd want to protect the kids and it's possible to get the information to OW's husband without doing it in front of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Why the focus on the OW? My focus would be on my husband. He made the choice to cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the focus on the OW? My focus would be on my husband. He made the choice to cheat.

My focus would be on BOTH of them if it was a long affair, most especially if she was married too. That’s a shitty thing they both did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you assume he doesn't already know?

She’s had multiple and is a pathological, manipulative liar. He’s clueless. She plans to divorce him and make him think it’s his fault.

If she's planning to divorce him, he'll be free of her soon either way.

But he won't be free of whatever STD his cheating wife might have given him.

He ought to know about her serial cheating because it puts him at high risk of disease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you do go tell them in person and there are kids there please ask the adult(s) to step outside for a moment. The kids are truly innocent in all of this and yes, their mom made a shit choice for them but that's not their fault and they don't deserve to suffer any more than they already have or will. Please.

How have they already suffered?

Liberal

Crazy is hard to hide from kids and if you try to hide it they are being gaslighted.

[Anonymous]

I would deliver the letter in person with a bouquet of flower it softens the blow

[Anonymous]

Before you send anything that might be read in front of kids, please make sure that you have decided to tell your own kids about your husband’s affair. Make sure that you truly believe that that is something you want to risk other children (who are innocent in all of this just like your kids) hearing about as tellers are sure to rise upon first reading your message. If you don’t think this is something that is appropriate, then just call or email the ow’s spouse, say who you are, and ask to arrange a time to speak or meet.

[Anonymous]

I say send a letter I had a process server ( subpoena) knocking on my door and the doors of my neighbors. Ex H was a named paramour in their divorce proceedings. Ex H had moved out a few weeks prior and I was blind sided. I would have appreciated finding out about it in a less public way. I was humiliating to have the process server knocking on the doors of neighbors asking if when was the last time they had seen DH. I would have willingly told the DH of the cheater everything I knew if he had just contacted me directly.

I also would have not wasted time “trying to work things out”. If I had known. A heads up or been made aware of the knowledge that his wife was infertile due to a long history of undiagnosed and untreated STDs would have been helpful as well for multiple reasons. I would think most people would want to know what is going on. Cheating is not without consequences. You can’t trust a DH who would knowingly expose you to a young 20 something year old who has already had so many STDs that she actually damaged their reproductive organs so severely that she was inferior. No thanks I’m not interested in dying of some Uterine or Cervical cancer. Also not interested in or having scarred tubes because EX H has a weakness for nastiness and a sob story!

Also reassuring to know that there will be no accidents to compete for resources. Send a letter so much bette than a subpoena on your door. Subpoena are public record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say send a letter I had a process server ( subpoena) knocking on my door and the doors of my neighbors. Ex H was a named paramour in their divorce proceedings. Ex H had moved out a few weeks prior and I was blind sided. I would have appreciated finding out about it in a less public way. I was humiliating to have the process server knocking on the doors of neighbors asking if when was the last time they had seen DH. I would have willingly told the DH of the cheater everything I knew if he had just contacted me directly.

I also would have not wasted time “trying to work things out”. If I had known. A heads up or been made aware of the knowledge that his wife was infertile due to a long history of undiagnosed and untreated STDs would have been helpful as well for multiple reasons. I would think most people would want to know what is going on. Cheating is not without consequences. You can’t trust a DH who would knowingly expose you to a young 20 something year old who has already had so many STDs that she actually damaged their reproductive organs so severely that she was inferior. No thanks I’m not interested in dying of some Uterine or Cervical cancer. Also not interested in or having scarred tubes because EX H has a weakness for nastiness and a sob story!

Also reassuring to know that there will be no accidents to compete for resources. Send a letter so much bette than a subpoena on your door. Subpoena are public record.

WOW! So sorry! And very glad you are rid of him. I agree it’s always best to tell. I would want to know too. I value my health and safety.