Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

I live in a townhouse where the entry floor is the foyer and our bedroom and office, the main level is the living and dining rooms, and the upper floor is guest room and kid room. For all the posters saying “dear god no I would never go upstairs,” how would you conduct yourself in my home? This universal “upstairs is off limits” is so weird. It sounds like a cultural thing that you’re all assuming you know the shape and use of every home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a guest in someone's home--for a brief viist or for an overnight stay--why, exactly, do you think you can go upstairs without being invited, or without being given express permission?

You've been welcomed into the "public spaces" like the living room, dining room, kitchen, and main powder rooms. If you are an overnight guest, you've been given your own room, bathroom, and a full living space. In my house, you literally have an entire floor of my home at your private disposal.

Why would you "need" to go upstairs, and why do you think you are welcome to do so?

And yeah, this goes for family, too. If the kids invite you to go upstairs to see their rooms, fine. But otherwise, there's nothing for you up there.

My DW does this and its because she hates her step mother. Some sort of territorial thing I don’t understand.

That's probably the root of it - the guest dislikes the host and this is their "innocent" way of disrespecting them.

Tell your DW that she is behaving like an azz and is getting herself a bad reputation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a townhouse where the entry floor is the foyer and our bedroom and office, the main level is the living and dining rooms, and the upper floor is guest room and kid room. For all the posters saying “dear god no I would never go upstairs,” how would you conduct yourself in my home? This universal “upstairs is off limits” is so weird. It sounds like a cultural thing that you’re all assuming you know the shape and use of every home.

So.....I would enter your house on the foyer level and instead of going to the main living area that you were directing me to, I would make a beeline for your master bedroom and get a look around while I'm in there?

It doesn't matter where the host's private space is, pp. If it is not a public area you do not go into it unless they invite you in. It really is not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a townhouse where the entry floor is the foyer and our bedroom and office, the main level is the living and dining rooms, and the upper floor is guest room and kid room. For all the posters saying “dear god no I would never go upstairs,” how would you conduct yourself in my home? This universal “upstairs is off limits” is so weird. It sounds like a cultural thing that you’re all assuming you know the shape and use of every home.

Are you always this deliberately obtuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live in a townhouse where the entry floor is the foyer and our bedroom and office, the main level is the living and dining rooms, and the upper floor is guest room and kid room. For all the posters saying “dear god no I would never go upstairs,” how would you conduct yourself in my home? This universal “upstairs is off limits” is so weird. It sounds like a cultural thing that you’re all assuming you know the shape and use of every home.

You're being too literal. In your home, I would stick to the main living areas. I live in a ranch style house, and expect guests to stay out of the bedrooms.

[Anonymous]

JFC we get.

Damn, go get laid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JFC we get.

Damn, go get laid

You get what?

[Anonymous]

Even in my parent's home I don't wander into the private areas unless I have a reason or invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even in my parent's home I don't wander into the private areas unless I have a reason or invitation.

The only reason to go into their room is an invitation.

I would never intrude upon a host's private room like that unless they told me specifically that I could/should do so. Even then, I don't assume that permission to go into the room also means permission to go through their drawers, closets, mail or whatever else they might have in their room.

[Anonymous]

How can this even be debated? OP, you are absolutely in the right. There are such things as manners, and yes, they include knowing NOT to wander around someone's house past the more public, meeting areas. Goodness, I thought this was lesson #1 before taking your child to his/her first playdate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is hilarious

Guys, I was banging my wife in the middle of a dinner party we were hosting, but one of our opiate addicts came upstairs and dug through our meds .... And he caught me mid thrust!

The first part of that happened to us. #truestory

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but this is a big reason why I don't really like hosting things at my house. I've seen people do all kinds of rude things in other people's homes. And yes, people can be really nosy and inappropriate.

All that said, I also don't like to stay at someone's house overnight. We've had offers and my husband is okay with it, but I tell him I'd prefer to get a hotel. People are touchy about their space, and I want to relax at the end of the day.

Huge pet peeve of mine is people who make you take your shoes off. There's nothing worse than going to a dinner party dressed nicely and having to take your shoes off just to enter the dining area. I kind of think that people shouldn't host dinner parties if they're going to do that.

[Anonymous]

Nosy people want to find your secrets- meds you are on, if you’re a slob, house decor curiosity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but this is a big reason why I don't really like hosting things at my house. I've seen people do all kinds of rude things in other people's homes. And yes, people can be really nosy and inappropriate.

All that said, I also don't like to stay at someone's house overnight. We've had offers and my husband is okay with it, but I tell him I'd prefer to get a hotel. People are touchy about their space, and I want to relax at the end of the day.

Huge pet peeve of mine is people who make you take your shoes off. There's nothing worse than going to a dinner party dressed nicely and having to take your shoes off just to enter the dining area. I kind of think that people shouldn't host dinner parties if they're going to do that.

At least there is a purpose/reason for the shoes thing, and it is controlling their own environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nosy people want to find your secrets- meds you are on, if you’re a slob, house decor curiosity.

Who has these types of friends? Yikes!