Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

If you have guests in your home does that give you the right to dig through their purses or luggage when their back is turned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they maybe wanting company or looking for some kind of supplies like tampons, towels or the laundry room?

I’ll bet big bucks it’s one of OP’s inlaws whom she doesn’t like in general. To OP, the guest is being “nosy.”

OP here. I've had both members of my family and my husband's familly do this. I've also had near-strangers do this, who were invited for a holiday party. I don't get how people don't get that this is not how you act in someone's home.

I am very much a “mi class, su casa” type and appreciate when guests make themselves at home so I am not having to think through all the things to make them comfortable. But, I do understand that my style is different so I try not to overstep when a guest at someone else’s. But I am sure you can see how these are two conflicting styles can cause issues if you are the type of person who likes to maintain a lot of control. In which case, you should just not open your home to guests, in my opinion.

I don’t know why people as tightly wound as OP bother to host. Maybe the guests had a good reason, maybe they just wanted to see what your upstairs looked like but if you have such an inhospitable attitude just don’t bother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they maybe wanting company or looking for some kind of supplies like tampons, towels or the laundry room?

I’ll bet big bucks it’s one of OP’s inlaws whom she doesn’t like in general. To OP, the guest is being “nosy.”

OP here. I've had both members of my family and my husband's familly do this. I've also had near-strangers do this, who were invited for a holiday party. I don't get how people don't get that this is not how you act in someone's home.

I am very much a “mi class, su casa” type and appreciate when guests make themselves at home so I am not having to think through all the things to make them comfortable. But, I do understand that my style is different so I try not to overstep when a guest at someone else’s. But I am sure you can see how these are two conflicting styles can cause issues if you are the type of person who likes to maintain a lot of control. In which case, you should just not open your home to guests, in my opinion.

I don’t know why people as tightly wound as OP bother to host. Maybe the guests had a good reason, maybe they just wanted to see what your upstairs looked like but if you have such an inhospitable attitude just don’t bother.

What was the good reason? Still waiting.

I'd love to see the inner workings of Jose Andres' kitchens. I suppose the next time I'm being hosted in one of his restaurants or one of the hotels in which has a restaurant, I should just wander right on back? Hey, I have more of a claim on that than I do when you host me at your house; I'm a paying customer!

[Anonymous]

I think I need..... a breath mint. Yeah, that's right, a breath mint. As soon as you go to use the powder room - your purse is mine!!

[Anonymous]

You people need a drink or chill pill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people need a drink or chill pill.

I'm sure you'll wander down to the wine cellar and the master bath and help yourself to both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people need a drink or chill pill.

Good suggestions! I'll check for those when I snoop through your luggage .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If not being sent to get a toy in the kid’s room or a blanket from the linen closet or something, then I agree there is no need for a visitor to be there and likely they are just being nosy. Keep all the doors closed which sends a message that this is not public wandering space.

I close all doors except the bathroom door unless guests are family or close friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If not being sent to get a toy in the kid’s room or a blanket from the linen closet or something, then I agree there is no need for a visitor to be there and likely they are just being nosy. Keep all the doors closed which sends a message that this is not public wandering space.

I close all doors except the bathroom door unless guests are family or close friends.

Because you don't mind it if your family or close friends go into your master bedroom and check out the opened mail that you might have laying on your dresser? You don't care if they open your nightstand to "find" something or go into your master bathroom for a look around?

Close family and friends don't do that. They just don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people need a drink or chill pill.

I'm sure you'll wander down to the wine cellar and the master bath and help yourself to both.

Okay girlfriend, whatev.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a guest in someone's home--for a brief viist or for an overnight stay--why, exactly, do you think you can go upstairs without being invited, or without being given express permission?

You've been welcomed into the "public spaces" like the living room, dining room, kitchen, and main powder rooms. If you are an overnight guest, you've been given your own room, bathroom, and a full living space. In my house, you literally have an entire floor of my home at your private disposal.

Why would you "need" to go upstairs, and why do you think you are welcome to do so?

And yeah, this goes for family, too. If the kids invite you to go upstairs to see their rooms, fine. But otherwise, there's nothing for you up there.

My DW does this and its because she hates her step mother. Some sort of territorial thing I don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

My BIL does this, and he has social issues. He once opened a closed door to my bedroom while I was breastfeeding and stood there and gaped.

I agree with you OP, I would never go upstairs at someone else’s home unless I was explicitly invited to do so. Or if my kids went up there to play with their friends/cousins and I needed to check on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once lived in a beautiful home and guests would ask for a tour. It made me uncomfortable.

In some cultures it’s rude not to offer. My Danish friends love a house tour.

The owner of the home dictates what is rude and what is not. ie: "touring".

Plus...I hate the “in some cultures” argument. It is not the custom orculture here to do or ask for a house tour unless you are clueless and nosy af.

[Anonymous]

Maybe there’s a kill room up there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BIL does this, and he has social issues. He once opened a closed door to my bedroom while I was breastfeeding and stood there and gaped.

I agree with you OP, I would never go upstairs at someone else’s home unless I was explicitly invited to do so. Or if my kids went up there to play with their friends/cousins and I needed to check on them.

i'd think that anybody who randomly goes upstairs has serious social issues. It's creepy and inappropriate.