DC shut out from all but one, now wants a gap year

[Anonymous]

Also, it's important to identify and apply to a range of schools across the acceptance rate spectrum that your kid actually wants to attend. A school that would likely offer your child admission but is one that your kid isn't actually that keen on going to, probably shouldn't be on the final list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about his application would change from last year to this year? I mean, his GPA etc will all be the same, he will just be a year older.

Working on a farm is not enough to be a differentiator in an application.

Also, most who take gap years have deferred their acceptance, so have a landing spot. What happens if he tried again and doesn't get in anywhere again?

His GPA wouldn't be the same. It will either have an extra semester or an extra year worth of grades. No school has seen the last semester's grades. Some schools haven't even seen first semester senior year grades. My kid's schools didn't.

I think working on a farm full-time for a year is unique, particularly in this day and age when most people don't live on farms. I think it could make for a wonderful essay, depending on what he learns about himself. In addition, he may be doing more than farm chores. Maybe, he will be getting some business experience - dealing with customers or distributors. Maybe he will do some marketing for the farm. Maybe it will help him define a major he wants to study. We really don't know. But it does make him sound interesting.

I agree that having a deferred acceptance is a great idea. Of course, we don't know where he applied, but clearly he either applied too high or something was a red flag on his application. So some serious review is in order, too.

He got into a "likely" so I don't think there was anything wrong with his application, it is probably an issue of bad luck more than anything with the way application numbers are these days. Why would you assume that he had a red flag on his application, weird response.

Because if you have a decent list of true targets and safeties, you should get into a few in each category, not just 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

NP. But he needs to go somewhere, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

Which begs the question, why the hell was it a safety school on his original list?!?!?! You should never apply to a school you don't actually want to attend? That isn't a safety school, for precisely this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

NP. But he needs to go somewhere, right?

according to him, he doesn't have to go anywhere this year. He can take a gap year and then apply some place else. He doesn't want to go to the one he got into, so how does deferring help his problem?

If he wants a gap year and reluctantly accepts, then him taking the gap year is about sulking. I would not let my kid sulk like that. Short term upset is understandable. My kid was the same. But a whole year to sulk? That isn't someone who can defer and be happy after a year.

Someone who sulks about getting into only one college that he applied to such that he'd rather work on a farm for a year doesn't seem like a person who can deal with life's disappointments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is in agriculture and has hosted multiple wayward high school graduates and college dropouts for a gap year. Every single one of them has thanked us for the experience and went back to school.

Most importantly they get a chance to see what physical labor looks like for the 60 year old employees.

Have him, if possible, take a community college/directional state u class while working on the farm. If there is a desirable state flagship near the farm, even better

If the state is Iowa, Ohio, or Wisconsin, there’s even some SLAC options

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is in agriculture and has hosted multiple wayward high school graduates and college dropouts for a gap year. Every single one of them has thanked us for the experience and went back to school.

Most importantly they get a chance to see what physical labor looks like for the 60 year old employees.

Have him, if possible, take a community college/directional state u class while working on the farm. If there is a desirable state flagship near the farm, even better

If the state is Iowa, Ohio, or Wisconsin, there’s even some SLAC options

OP’s child will be considered OOS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is such a smart idea. I'm surprised by the pushback.

I don't like that he went to grandparents first, but maybe he wanted to see if it was even an option. I'll give him a pass on this one.

Right now I'd ask him, How much are going to be paid? (adulting lesson - ask about money, even with family)

And assuming that's okay (farm help doesn't pay a lot and minus room/board it may not be much, but it should be something and that something should be saved), I'd tell him you want to see a list of what colleges he'll apply to in the Fall. You want that now. It's a draft, but it should be a considered draft. He won't know a lot more about this process 4 months from now than he does right now.

Some kids think a gap year is a gap year, but look at juniors .. they're being told right now to do their essays this summer. This is where gap year kids fall apart a bit.

So before he goes, you write out a timeline. Testing is done now. No retakes. Essays done by x date. You don't need this done by Sept 1 but you want this all done early enough that the gap year will be spent working, not stressing every deadline. Replaying this stressful year AGAIN is not good for anyone's mental health.

IMO his list should include Cornell's International Agriculture/Rural Dev major which is super interesting, pretty transferrable, and likes kids with this experience. He could also switch if it's not perfect. The argriculture/climate change space is also really expanding in both colleges and the job market.

From one farm kid to another (potential) one, GL!

You think that a kid who went 1/11 on his college apps is going to be accepted to Cornell University because he spent some more time working on grandma's farm ?

His farm experience didn't resonate too well on his first round of college applications.

Yep, I'm pretty familiar with that program and I think he has a good shot if he can talk real science. His apps need to be re-worked obv, but I suspect they were pretty vanilla. "Grandma's farm" has a hint of derision about it, but there's nothing rinky-dink about a year on a farm. It's a data-driven business that is changing all the time with new technologies in every department. I get that you're not impressed, but it's apparent you have very little insight in this area.

It is apparent that you have very little insight to Cornell University admissions--and especially with respect to the quasi-public ag school.

I mean, you can find my name on their website. But okay! (and quasi-public .. eyeroll)

Well, your eyeroll just confirmed that you do not know much about Cornell University.

DP. I know nothing about Cornell, but as a senior tech exec whose posts about CS are often criticized by SAHPs whose familiarity with CS seems to come from TV shows, I sympathize with the eye roller who — unlike most — seems to actually know that they are talking about.

Dismissive PP’s post is the epitome of DCUM ignorance and arrogance. This forum is Dunning Kruger central.

Curious as to whether or not you believe in karma ?

Bet you don't feel so superior now.

Bless your heart. Are you asking me if the fact that PP can use Google somehow changed my mind? No, that hasn’t changed my opinion of PP who arrogantly posted Google 101 comments and thinks they’re owning a poster who is part of the faculty.

But, that’s really peak DCUM — boundless confidence, utter ignorance, and veneer of Google facts barfed onto the page. Never change DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's important to identify and apply to a range of schools across the acceptance rate spectrum that your kid actually wants to attend. A school that would likely offer your child admission but is one that your kid isn't actually that keen on going to, probably shouldn't be on the final list.

OP explained that her DS said he was okay with all the schools on his list. It was only when it came down to admission at only one school that he came clean that he wasn't really okay with that school.

I don't think that's unusual. There are many who post on here on how their DC won't look at likelies, overly confident that they will get into reaches, etc.

Perhaps the DC's list was not as realistic as it should have been. But that's all now in the rearview mirror and OP is seeking advice on how to move forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

NP. But he needs to go somewhere, right?

according to him, he doesn't have to go anywhere this year. He can take a gap year and then apply some place else. He doesn't want to go to the one he got into, so how does deferring help his problem?

If he wants a gap year and reluctantly accepts, then him taking the gap year is about sulking. I would not let my kid sulk like that. Short term upset is understandable. My kid was the same. But a whole year to sulk? That isn't someone who can defer and be happy after a year.

Someone who sulks about getting into only one college that he applied to such that he'd rather work on a farm for a year doesn't seem like a person who can deal with life's disappointments.

He also doesn't seem like someone who really wants to go to college.

A better course of action would be to go to the one college that accepted him, work super hard, make impressive grades, and then apply to transfer to the college he really wanted.

Working a year on a farm is fine, and may benenfit him if he wants to pursue an agriculture degree, but that's about it. Especially if he is working for family. He basically has an easy way out planned, and it's probably not going to alter any outcomes from the colleges he really wants to attend this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

Which begs the question, why the hell was it a safety school on his original list?!?!?! You should never apply to a school you don't actually want to attend? That isn't a safety school, for precisely this scenario.

He said that he thought he did. But changed his mind.

That is allowed to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

NP. But he needs to go somewhere, right?

according to him, he doesn't have to go anywhere this year. He can take a gap year and then apply some place else. He doesn't want to go to the one he got into, so how does deferring help his problem?

If he wants a gap year and reluctantly accepts, then him taking the gap year is about sulking. I would not let my kid sulk like that. Short term upset is understandable. My kid was the same. But a whole year to sulk? That isn't someone who can defer and be happy after a year.

Someone who sulks about getting into only one college that he applied to such that he'd rather work on a farm for a year doesn't seem like a person who can deal with life's disappointments.

Do you feel better about yourself posting something like this? Your post is petty, insulting, and judgmental. And you're gross for posting it. Especially about a young person who has worked hard for 4 years and is experiencing an outcome that he is unhappy about. These kids deserve some compassion and understanding. Not a grown a$$ adult coming on here mocking them.

Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Again, I am highly aware of how SUNY and Cornell work at CALS. I just think BRINGING IT UP AT ALL ("quasi-public) is just typical close-minded DCUM bs tbh.

You are insane. I went to Cornell's College of Human Ecology. Describing it as a state school within Cornell is accurate, and not an insult. Why would it be? I got a Cornell degree at a much better price than the kids in Arts & Sciences did.

[Anonymous]

I would 100% support my kid in this situation. He sounds pretty great, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is such a smart idea. I'm surprised by the pushback.

I don't like that he went to grandparents first, but maybe he wanted to see if it was even an option. I'll give him a pass on this one.

Right now I'd ask him, How much are going to be paid? (adulting lesson - ask about money, even with family)

And assuming that's okay (farm help doesn't pay a lot and minus room/board it may not be much, but it should be something and that something should be saved), I'd tell him you want to see a list of what colleges he'll apply to in the Fall. You want that now. It's a draft, but it should be a considered draft. He won't know a lot more about this process 4 months from now than he does right now.

Some kids think a gap year is a gap year, but look at juniors .. they're being told right now to do their essays this summer. This is where gap year kids fall apart a bit.

So before he goes, you write out a timeline. Testing is done now. No retakes. Essays done by x date. You don't need this done by Sept 1 but you want this all done early enough that the gap year will be spent working, not stressing every deadline. Replaying this stressful year AGAIN is not good for anyone's mental health.

IMO his list should include Cornell's International Agriculture/Rural Dev major which is super interesting, pretty transferrable, and likes kids with this experience. He could also switch if it's not perfect. The argriculture/climate change space is also really expanding in both colleges and the job market.

From one farm kid to another (potential) one, GL!

You think that a kid who went 1/11 on his college apps is going to be accepted to Cornell University because he spent some more time working on grandma's farm ?

His farm experience didn't resonate too well on his first round of college applications.

Yep, I'm pretty familiar with that program and I think he has a good shot if he can talk real science. His apps need to be re-worked obv, but I suspect they were pretty vanilla. "Grandma's farm" has a hint of derision about it, but there's nothing rinky-dink about a year on a farm. It's a data-driven business that is changing all the time with new technologies in every department. I get that you're not impressed, but it's apparent you have very little insight in this area.

It is apparent that you have very little insight to Cornell University admissions--and especially with respect to the quasi-public ag school.

What was the insight here? What did "quasi-public" add?

Again, if someone brought up William & Mary would you make sure to chime in to make sure we all know it's a public school?

I'm sorry that OP's post is getting so derailed, as usual. But the weird pompousness here is so weird. You don't have to point out that Cornell has land grant programs; Cornell is not a niche school and these programs are well know. Just because you don't come out and disclose financial structures of schools don't mean you have no insight. Just pass on topics you don't care about. You don't have to jump in and .. "Oh! this is a public school". I swear this is the most provincial message board