DC shut out from all but one, now wants a gap year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the gap year on the farm. It will make a heckuva college application essay. Plus: if he establishes residence elsewhere, that could give him an edge.

College applications are done in October

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Have him take a few classes at the community or local college.

Do NOT do this as it might affect eligibility for merit scholarship money.

If he did not get into these schools he needs to lower his standards and apply to realistic schools. Working for a year isn’t going to get him in a better school with merit aid.

The point is that he needs to apply as an incoming/new freshman, not a transfer.

Yes, this is a concern. However, to be considered a transfer, a certain number of college credit hours must be completed. A couple of courses will not change the son's status.

Yes it will. At many schools, any college classes taken after HS graduation make you a transfer student.

All the more reason for OP’s child to pick up the phone, call the college & ask for their policy on that. Or he can email admissions and the registrar. No biggie.

In order to qualify as a transfer student, most colleges require a minimum number of credit hours (typically 30 semester hours). However, enrolling in even one or two college courses often makes one ineligible for freshman merit scholarship awards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the lone dissenter who thinks DS pulled the wool over parents eyes and is not being very mature.
But that said the only sons and daughters of college educated parents that I knew (more than a few) just never did make it to college. This happened then that but long story short no college.

My SIL is an example, it was tied up with being an only child, but I hadn't really thought of this being a common phenomenon. (Really a half sister, much younger never under the same roof as older siblings.) Curious how this will pan out for her kids since she's remained anti-intellectual. Yet they have doting grandparents who are highly educated professionals, and grandparents have helped keep the family in UMC college educated neighborhoods.

eye roll
the *vast* majority of only children attend college. This has zero to do with whatever you have observed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the gap year on the farm. It will make a heckuva college application essay. Plus: if he establishes residence elsewhere, that could give him an edge.

College applications are done in October

And?

It’s nearly May. Go live on the farm starting this June and apply in the coming Fall or even Fall 2024. Distinguish yourself through an interesting gap year. Connect the dots to an agribusiness whatever application from the heartland (potentially with residency) instead of being one of a million dc metro area kids.

This isn’t the crisis the op thinks it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really won’t be much of an essay because he’ll have to write it prior to deadlines this fall.

Or he can actually hold off on applying until Fall 2024.

Spending a year or so on a farm with his grandparents would actually be a priceless experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL. This made me chuckle. Most DC teenagers don’t drive, don’t know how to use a circular saw or hammer a nail straight, don’t know how to drive a tractor, don’t know how to shoot a rifle, can’t ride a horse, cant wire a light switch, can’t clean a fish, have no idea how to repair any part of a car, truck, or tractor, and the list goes on. Those are all things I could do by 13 after growing up in the country (not even on a farm). The notion that “corn fed farm girls” (whatever the f that’s supposed to mean) would find most DC “city kids” anything other than sort of sad and clueless is pretty funny.

Good. No reason for my kid to do any of those things.

Well… proudly raising delicate snowflakes without any skills is certainly one way to parent. Hope that works out for you.

We diy our house. I’d rather my kid focus on other things. They can learn that stuff later after college.

Op and their child overestimated what schools they’d get into. They have one good option and there are plenty of schools still accepting students just not with prestige. Waiting a year isn’t going to change grades or anything else. Go to the accepted school and if not happy transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take the gap year on the farm. It will make a heckuva college application essay. Plus: if he establishes residence elsewhere, that could give him an edge.

College applications are done in October

And?

It’s nearly May. Go live on the farm starting this June and apply in the coming Fall or even Fall 2024. Distinguish yourself through an interesting gap year. Connect the dots to an agribusiness whatever application from the heartland (potentially with residency) instead of being one of a million dc metro area kids.

This isn’t the crisis the op thinks it is.

He has ALREADY worked on the farm summers. It was ALREADY on his applications last year, another summer of the same before new apps are due will not move the needle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IMO, a gap year can be good. More time to grow up, take a break from relentless academic pressure.

However, it doesn't appear that the reason your DS wants a gap year is any of those. Seems more like he is disappointed in the admissions results and so he wants to go sulk.

I get it. DC with really really high stats from a magnet got shut out of all but one safety, which is the local (and I mean local) flagship. They didn't want to go to the local college for 13th year. However, after getting over the initial sting, we went to the open house, and DC started to get really excited about the prospect of living on campus (even though we are really close, we want DC to experience that independent), and that their good friends are also going there.

But, the initial sting did really do a number on their ego. Everyone expected them to go to a "better" school because DC is super smart and has this reputation at school.

I think your concerns are legitimate. Did you take them to the open house at all? Did they tour the campus at all? I think your DS is basically running away from the problem, tbh.

I have always told DC that the experience that they have wherever they are is what they make of it and that life is full of disappointments, but you have to make lemonade out of lemons -- trite, I know.. but still true.

Your DC could also go to community college for a year or two and then try to transfer to the college they really like.

I do think your concerns are valid. It's very possible that he has a harder time trying to get back into academics after taking that gap year. He seems to not be able to get over the disappointing college results. Explain to him that so many kids have gotten disappointing college results, including my own kid with really high stats, and DC is not alone in this.

IMO the bigger concern to me is that your kid is not able to handle a huge disappointment without wanting to run away.

Ms or Mr. Tough therapist gross

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Defer from the accepted school for a year - do not decline (say its to help grandparents on the family farm, should be fine).

2. Let him go work on the farm! He will mature and do manual labor and spend time with grandparents - win/win/win.

3. He applies again, writing his essay about helping out on the family farm, which lead him to apply to different schools.

4. He gets in at new schools, or, he attends the one he deferred. Make it clear that these are the only options, he can have a gap year on the farm, but he has to go to college after that

Came here to say this. Defer, have more compelling essay subject matter and try again next year but if all else fails, he *has* to go to the school that he deferred. That seems like a good compromise.