DC shut out from all but one, now wants a gap year

[Anonymous]

I took a gap year. I worked on a farm that year. I went to school (UMD) the following year. I am now a well-adjusted adult who can pay all the bills and appreciates the fact my parents allowed me to make important decisions about my own future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about his application would change from last year to this year? I mean, his GPA etc will all be the same, he will just be a year older.

Working on a farm is not enough to be a differentiator in an application.

Also, most who take gap years have deferred their acceptance, so have a landing spot. What happens if he tried again and doesn't get in anywhere again?

His GPA wouldn't be the same. It will either have an extra semester or an extra year worth of grades. No school has seen the last semester's grades. Some schools haven't even seen first semester senior year grades. My kid's schools didn't.

I think working on a farm full-time for a year is unique, particularly in this day and age when most people don't live on farms. I think it could make for a wonderful essay, depending on what he learns about himself. In addition, he may be doing more than farm chores. Maybe, he will be getting some business experience - dealing with customers or distributors. Maybe he will do some marketing for the farm. Maybe it will help him define a major he wants to study. We really don't know. But it does make him sound interesting.

I agree that having a deferred acceptance is a great idea. Of course, we don't know where he applied, but clearly he either applied too high or something was a red flag on his application. So some serious review is in order, too.

He got into a "likely" so I don't think there was anything wrong with his application, it is probably an issue of bad luck more than anything with the way application numbers are these days. Why would you assume that he had a red flag on his application, weird response.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think this is such a smart idea. I'm surprised by the pushback.

I don't like that he went to grandparents first, but maybe he wanted to see if it was even an option. I'll give him a pass on this one.

Right now I'd ask him, How much are going to be paid? (adulting lesson - ask about money, even with family)

And assuming that's okay (farm help doesn't pay a lot and minus room/board it may not be much, but it should be something and that something should be saved), I'd tell him you want to see a list of what colleges he'll apply to in the Fall. You want that now. It's a draft, but it should be a considered draft. He won't know a lot more about this process 4 months from now than he does right now.

Some kids think a gap year is a gap year, but look at juniors .. they're being told right now to do their essays this summer. This is where gap year kids fall apart a bit.

So before he goes, you write out a timeline. Testing is done now. No retakes. Essays done by x date. You don't need this done by Sept 1 but you want this all done early enough that the gap year will be spent working, not stressing every deadline. Replaying this stressful year AGAIN is not good for anyone's mental health.

IMO his list should include Cornell's International Agriculture/Rural Dev major which is super interesting, pretty transferrable, and likes kids with this experience. He could also switch if it's not perfect. The argriculture/climate change space is also really expanding in both colleges and the job market.

From one farm kid to another (potential) one, GL!

You think that a kid who went 1/11 on his college apps is going to be accepted to Cornell University because he spent some more time working on grandma's farm ?

His farm experience didn't resonate too well on his first round of college applications.

Yep, I'm pretty familiar with that program and I think he has a good shot if he can talk real science. His apps need to be re-worked obv, but I suspect they were pretty vanilla. "Grandma's farm" has a hint of derision about it, but there's nothing rinky-dink about a year on a farm. It's a data-driven business that is changing all the time with new technologies in every department. I get that you're not impressed, but it's apparent you have very little insight in this area.

It is apparent that you have very little insight to Cornell University admissions--and especially with respect to the quasi-public ag school.

I mean, you can find my name on their website. But okay! (and quasi-public .. eyeroll)

Well, your eyeroll just confirmed that you do not know much about Cornell University.

DP. I know nothing about Cornell, but as a senior tech exec whose posts about CS are often criticized by SAHPs whose familiarity with CS seems to come from TV shows, I sympathize with the eye roller who — unlike most — seems to actually know that they are talking about.

Dismissive PP’s post is the epitome of DCUM ignorance and arrogance. This forum is Dunning Kruger central.

Unfortnately, you were writing your post while you should have been reading. Clearly, you know little to nothing about Cornell University and its seven colleges--four of which are partially funded by the state of New York.

I think everyone here knows this. And did you know William & Mary is a public school? Zzzzz. Let's move on.

Not everyone. Apparently, the poster who brought up Cornell was unaware of this fact. Guess you were sleeping during that part of the discussion (Zzzzz).

Again, I am highly aware of how SUNY and Cornell work at CALS. I just think BRINGING IT UP AT ALL ("quasi-public) is just typical close-minded DCUM bs tbh.

Doubtful that you are aware judging by what you write and how you respond. And suggesting that a poor student would magically be accepted at one of Cornell's contract or hybrid colleges after a partial year of working on grandma's farm indicates that you have little to no familiarity with Cornell admissions for this school.

Four of Cornell's seven colleges are "quasi-public" or "hybrid public/private" contract colleges due to the contractual agreements with the state of New York.

If you think that sharing accurate, factual information is "close-minded" (you probably meant to misuse the term "closed-minded") then you will have a tough time in this world.

[Anonymous]

You cannot make an adult do something! You can tell them what the consequences will be if they don’t do it. But you can’t take him by the ear and make him go to class at the college you think he should go to. You can get the grandparents not to take him in, or you can threaten to withdraw financial support when he eventually does go to college. Those seem way too extreme at this point.

[Anonymous]

Let him go work on the farm. Life is long. This would be a good experience for him.

Don’t put him in a position to resent you for something that should be his decision to make.

[Anonymous]

This thread is about to go off the rails. Some really helpful suggestions to OP, including the framing that if DS really wants to attend a "better" school, than they should accept their current admit, bust their tail off, and apply for a transfer. Others have discussed how a year of hard work - and that's all it pretty much is on a farm - will serve DS well over the years and may provide focus and incentive to their studies going forward.

Finally, the suggestion to meet with a college counselor to discuss the current application as well trouble shoot future options is a good one. A third party may be the best bet here, especially if the counselor is genuinely open minded and really listens to OP's DS.

OP, all best to your DS. Please keep us posted on the next steps.

[Anonymous]

He'll probably find working on a farm for a year (and living with his grandparents) really boring, and that could give him the motivation he needs to really pursue a college degree. If he starts college right now with his lack of excitement, he could end up getting bad grades and wasting the opportunity, and his parents' money.

[Anonymous]

A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took a gap year. I worked on a farm that year. I went to school (UMD) the following year. I am now a well-adjusted adult who can pay all the bills and appreciates the fact my parents allowed me to make important decisions about my own future.

but, did you do that because you were disappointed that you got rejected to all but one college, one that was your least favorite?

The reason for wanting a gap year can impact the return to academics, IMO.

wanting a gap year to grow, do something different is great; doing so because you hated your college results is just sulking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think this is such a smart idea. I'm surprised by the pushback.

I don't like that he went to grandparents first, but maybe he wanted to see if it was even an option. I'll give him a pass on this one.

Right now I'd ask him, How much are going to be paid? (adulting lesson - ask about money, even with family)

And assuming that's okay (farm help doesn't pay a lot and minus room/board it may not be much, but it should be something and that something should be saved), I'd tell him you want to see a list of what colleges he'll apply to in the Fall. You want that now. It's a draft, but it should be a considered draft. He won't know a lot more about this process 4 months from now than he does right now.

Some kids think a gap year is a gap year, but look at juniors .. they're being told right now to do their essays this summer. This is where gap year kids fall apart a bit.

So before he goes, you write out a timeline. Testing is done now. No retakes. Essays done by x date. You don't need this done by Sept 1 but you want this all done early enough that the gap year will be spent working, not stressing every deadline. Replaying this stressful year AGAIN is not good for anyone's mental health.

IMO his list should include Cornell's International Agriculture/Rural Dev major which is super interesting, pretty transferrable, and likes kids with this experience. He could also switch if it's not perfect. The argriculture/climate change space is also really expanding in both colleges and the job market.

From one farm kid to another (potential) one, GL!

You think that a kid who went 1/11 on his college apps is going to be accepted to Cornell University because he spent some more time working on grandma's farm ?

His farm experience didn't resonate too well on his first round of college applications.

Yep, I'm pretty familiar with that program and I think he has a good shot if he can talk real science. His apps need to be re-worked obv, but I suspect they were pretty vanilla. "Grandma's farm" has a hint of derision about it, but there's nothing rinky-dink about a year on a farm. It's a data-driven business that is changing all the time with new technologies in every department. I get that you're not impressed, but it's apparent you have very little insight in this area.

It is apparent that you have very little insight to Cornell University admissions--and especially with respect to the quasi-public ag school.

I mean, you can find my name on their website. But okay! (and quasi-public .. eyeroll)

Well, your eyeroll just confirmed that you do not know much about Cornell University.

DP. I know nothing about Cornell, but as a senior tech exec whose posts about CS are often criticized by SAHPs whose familiarity with CS seems to come from TV shows, I sympathize with the eye roller who — unlike most — seems to actually know that they are talking about.

Dismissive PP’s post is the epitome of DCUM ignorance and arrogance. This forum is Dunning Kruger central.

Unfortnately, you were writing your post while you should have been reading. Clearly, you know little to nothing about Cornell University and its seven colleges--four of which are partially funded by the state of New York.

I think everyone here knows this. And did you know William & Mary is a public school? Zzzzz. Let's move on.

Not everyone. Apparently, the poster who brought up Cornell was unaware of this fact. Guess you were sleeping during that part of the discussion (Zzzzz).

Again, I am highly aware of how SUNY and Cornell work at CALS. I just think BRINGING IT UP AT ALL ("quasi-public) is just typical close-minded DCUM bs tbh.

Doubtful that you are aware judging by what you write and how you respond. And suggesting that a poor student would magically be accepted at one of Cornell's contract or hybrid colleges after a partial year of working on grandma's farm indicates that you have little to no familiarity with Cornell admissions for this school.

Four of Cornell's seven colleges are "quasi-public" or "hybrid public/private" contract colleges due to the contractual agreements with the state of New York.

If you think that sharing accurate, factual information is "close-minded" (you probably meant to misuse the term "closed-minded") then you will have a tough time in this world.

who cares? are we now labeling every discussed school as public, private, land grant, collaborative, etc? because we don't usually do that. nobody asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

Her DS had it on the list of schools he applied for. So it's not like he never considered going there. He may feel differently next year if this is an emotional response to disappointment. Deferral keeps that school (which may be his best option at that point) on the table.

[Anonymous]

Zero of Cornell colleges are quasi-public.That's a legal term that's being misused here. Not accurate, not factual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is in agriculture and has hosted multiple wayward high school graduates and college dropouts for a gap year. Every single one of them has thanked us for the experience and went back to school.

Most importantly they get a chance to see what physical labor looks like for the 60 year old employees.

Have him, if possible, take a community college/directional state u class while working on the farm. If there is a desirable state flagship near the farm, even better

[Anonymous]

Safeties should have been guaranteed acceptances, otherwise, they are not true safeties. This is something that should be emphasized for future families and also in case your kid reapplies next year. I wonder what happened.