DC shut out from all but one, now wants a gap year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would 100% support my kid in this situation. He sounds pretty great, OP.

+1

Think working on a farm for a year would look great on an application, particularly for the subjects he's interested in. Don't think OP said anything about test scores, but maybe also use the time to study and retake and get a really high score. As well as work on a really compelling essay about life on the farm and how it's helped him decide what he wants to do. That's an application that's really going to stand out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Again, I am highly aware of how SUNY and Cornell work at CALS. I just think BRINGING IT UP AT ALL ("quasi-public) is just typical close-minded DCUM bs tbh.

You are insane. I went to Cornell's College of Human Ecology. Describing it as a state school within Cornell is accurate, and not an insult. Why would it be? I got a Cornell degree at a much better price than the kids in Arts & Sciences did.

That was probably a long time ago. it's still a bit cheaper, but aid is more limited. I live in NY and state contract rates at Cornell are 66k per year now. It's not Bing.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely love the idea. Wish more kids would take a pause. You raised a great child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

NP. But he needs to go somewhere, right?

I brought up deferring because OP was worried that kid's chances would be even worse next year. If that is really a concern, then the way to mitigate it is to defer and reapply elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Still waiting for op to update how her son did senior year. That is the going to be the biggest factor in whether a deferral makes any sense. If his gpa went down and/or he dropped activities, he is unlikely to do better with another round of applications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is in agriculture and has hosted multiple wayward high school graduates and college dropouts for a gap year. Every single one of them has thanked us for the experience and went back to school.

Most importantly they get a chance to see what physical labor looks like for the 60 year old employees.

Yeah

Op is blessed to have this option

Do not rob your son of this

It’s great - it’s even within family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for op to update how her son did senior year. That is the going to be the biggest factor in whether a deferral makes any sense. If his gpa went down and/or he dropped activities, he is unlikely to do better with another round of applications.

Maybe it’s about doing different rather than doing better. In op’s shoes, I’d let him have the year.

[Anonymous]

He was waitlisted at a couple of places, wasn't he? Including his favorite.

[Anonymous]

You are insane. I went to Cornell's College of Human Ecology. Describing it as a state school within Cornell is accurate, and not an insult. Why would it be? I got a Cornell degree at a much better price than the kids in Arts & Sciences did.


That was probably a long time ago. it's still a bit cheaper, but aid is more limited. I live in NY and state contract rates at Cornell are 66k per year now. It's not Bing.

That includes housing, books, personal expenses. Regardless, it's still a good deal compared to over 88K for arts and sciences, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

NP. But he needs to go somewhere, right?

according to him, he doesn't have to go anywhere this year. He can take a gap year and then apply some place else. He doesn't want to go to the one he got into, so how does deferring help his problem?

If he wants a gap year and reluctantly accepts, then him taking the gap year is about sulking. I would not let my kid sulk like that. Short term upset is understandable. My kid was the same. But a whole year to sulk? That isn't someone who can defer and be happy after a year.

Someone who sulks about getting into only one college that he applied to such that he'd rather work on a farm for a year doesn't seem like a person who can deal with life's disappointments.

Do you feel better about yourself posting something like this? Your post is petty, insulting, and judgmental. And you're gross for posting it. Especially about a young person who has worked hard for 4 years and is experiencing an outcome that he is unhappy about. These kids deserve some compassion and understanding. Not a grown a$$ adult coming on here mocking them.

Shame on you.

eh.. if my kid sulked like this I wouldn't be happy about it. Like I said, DC also got rejected at most, WL at one, and only admitted to the one DC didn't want. They were upset for a few days. I understand the upset.

I bet my DC's stats were a lot higher than OP's kid. DC is in a magnet, too, and DC had every right to be upset, but, not to the point where they want to go off for a year and work on a family farm.

These kids and some parents are waaay too invested in what college they go to, and if they don't get in, life seems to come to a grinding halt.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think your son is acting mature at all. He took the easy way out — working in a familiar setting with grandparents and cousins.
I’m not a big fan of gap years because college passes very quickly and all the friends and acquaintances have moved on and matured. His ego is hurt. I get that.
But colleges are a business and admissions get harder not easier.
Revisit the college. Take a deferral if you can. You don’t know whether the next cycle will be better than this one. Your best chance is right after HS.
I think as parents your fears are legitimate. GL.

[Anonymous]

Really running off to grandmas doesn’t sound very mature regardless of how hard the work is. Unless it’s an ag school colleges know little about farm work.
In my experience gap years tend to turn into no college. Yes it’s great for rich Europeans and rich Americans who can work for Dad anytime. But for regular folks not so much.
I’m also not impressed that he really just extended his summer job with relatives. It’s just not impressive.

[Anonymous]

Make him go to the college. If he still hates it, he can transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A gap year sounds a great idea. If he defers the acceptance he has now, it is really hard to even seen a down side to this.

why do people keep talking about deferring? Her kid doesn't want to go to the school.

NP. But he needs to go somewhere, right?

according to him, he doesn't have to go anywhere this year. He can take a gap year and then apply some place else. He doesn't want to go to the one he got into, so how does deferring help his problem?

If he wants a gap year and reluctantly accepts, then him taking the gap year is about sulking. I would not let my kid sulk like that. Short term upset is understandable. My kid was the same. But a whole year to sulk? That isn't someone who can defer and be happy after a year.

Someone who sulks about getting into only one college that he applied to such that he'd rather work on a farm for a year doesn't seem like a person who can deal with life's disappointments.

I agree with this and think he will regret not looking harder at the school he was accepted to. You can apply to the 8 Ivy’s plus MIT , Duke, Northwestern and UCLA and that’s 10 rejections right there. He overestimated himself. It happens. But granny’s farm is not the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still waiting for op to update how her son did senior year. That is the going to be the biggest factor in whether a deferral makes any sense. If his gpa went down and/or he dropped activities, he is unlikely to do better with another round of applications.

Maybe it’s about doing different rather than doing better. In op’s shoes, I’d let him have the year.

You are responding to a post about deferral, a separate, but related, issue.

OP, you need to info gather. The posters stating that his applications due in fall won't be much different are correct. It will just be another summer on the farm at that point. See if it is possible to apply elsewhere if deferred. Deferral would be the belt and suspenders approach, but the optimal one would be going in fall, doing well, then transferring for spring or the following year. If he does not defer and does a gap year he could be completely shut out the following year. How are his grades for senior year? I'd get the advice of a consultant or the guidance counselor, ASAP.