Has confronting the other woman ever gone well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

Yep. Again a poster trying to shame a betrayed partner for not keeping everyone’s secrets. The toll it takes on a person to let that happen and carry that secret is huge. It’s gross people are advocating he/she turn a blind eye and just let everyone keep up their harmful, abusive behavior. The only one suffering in this situation is the victim: the betrayed spouse.

again, the belief that the betrayed spouse is the only one who suffers in these situations is myopic and false. Everyone suffers eventually. Everyone.

From the actions of the cheaters that set it off- yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Uh ok. I make $250k. It’s my money too and my shared properties. Me. There’s a lot to lose for not saying something and ending it.

It’s just like a dumb ow to not think the guy she’s banging wealth and homes had a lot to do with his wife.

You only make $250K? Snort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

Yep. Again a poster trying to shame a betrayed partner for not keeping everyone’s secrets. The toll it takes on a person to let that happen and carry that secret is huge. It’s gross people are advocating he/she turn a blind eye and just let everyone keep up their harmful, abusive behavior. The only one suffering in this situation is the victim: the betrayed spouse.

again, the belief that the betrayed spouse is the only one who suffers in these situations is myopic and false. Everyone suffers eventually. Everyone.

From the actions of the cheaters that set it off- yes.

Something tells me the suffering didn’t start with the cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my 30s my close friend succumbed to this. He was a senior partner at her firm well respected and she was his mentee. They had a multi year torrid affair that consumed her 30s and she missed her chance to marry. He eventually died. She remained single. It broke my heart to watch bc she was so beautiful, smart, intelligent, successful and a good person. She had some unresolved childhood issues. It was hard to watch, because I love her and didn’t want her to miss having a husband. But I never judged her or considered her a bad person. Just a real person with real history and real limitations that tripped her up. She was repeatedly a target for older married men but only ever responded to this one.

Did you meet his wife?9

I saw her once. Never met him. But what is the point of this question. Obviously he had a wife.

That you think your friend was a good person and both of you have zero empathy.

I would have pulled a way from any friend that was “dating” a married father. It goes so far against my morals. I wouldn’t condone it and I couldn’t sit there for years like you did hearing about her affair. You did her a disservice by sitting there supporting it. And like you said she ended up alone without kids or a family for wasting all of those years.

I never said I supported or condoned it. I told her my concerns which certainly strained the friendship but unlike you I can recognize that there is more to a person than their worst decisions. She has some issues. As it seems you do. Just bc your spouse cheated on you doesn’t make YOU a good person either. Sounds like you use it as cover for some serious personality deficits actually. Here’s hoping you yourself learn some empathy someday because it sounds like you only care about yourself. Pot, kettle.

My spouse has never cheated and I’m not friends with women that bang married men. If one cane to me and said she was cheating on her husband, I’d have serious issues and would let her know what I thought. That would be the end of it for me until she hit her sh@t together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes the BW is blameless if she kills someone 🤔

Would you want to argue that part as dead OW? It’s risky behavior to threaten someone’s family by getting involved in it.

Plenty of single men in the sea. Really idiotic to go after a married one.

The OW didn’t care about how her actions affect others but all of a sudden we must care about how speaking the truth might affect her life.

That’s a crazy far reach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

Yep. Again a poster trying to shame a betrayed partner for not keeping everyone’s secrets. The toll it takes on a person to let that happen and carry that secret is huge. It’s gross people are advocating he/she turn a blind eye and just let everyone keep up their harmful, abusive behavior. The only one suffering in this situation is the victim: the betrayed spouse.

again, the belief that the betrayed spouse is the only one who suffers in these situations is myopic and false. Everyone suffers eventually. Everyone.

From the actions of the cheaters that set it off- yes.

Something tells me the suffering didn’t start with the cheating.

You are correct. Cheaters start devaluing and being mean and critical to their spouse, emotionally abusing them to the point they have little self worth in order to justify going out and banging another woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

So? You really want to risk your DH’s life and career and your kids public embarrassment bc of whatever you think confronting the OW will accomplish? Grow up, or save it for reality TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

So? You really want to risk your DH’s life and career and your kids public embarrassment bc of whatever you think confronting the OW will accomplish? Grow up, or save it for reality TV.

Do you catastrophize on a regular basis? You should get therapy for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

So? You really want to risk your DH’s life and career and your kids public embarrassment bc of whatever you think confronting the OW will accomplish? Grow up, or save it for reality TV.

Do you catastrophize on a regular basis? You should get therapy for that.

Uh, this is very typical fallout from a discovered and publicized affair. Maybe not getting shot but the rest yes. You want to put your private life on a billboard be my guest but more people than not handle this privately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Uh ok. I make $250k. It’s my money too and my shared properties. Me. There’s a lot to lose for not saying something and ending it.

It’s just like a dumb ow to not think the guy she’s banging wealth and homes had a lot to do with his wife.

You only make $250K? Snort.

Only 3% of women make $250K or more so I’m sure she is top of the food chain and far above anybody that says “snort”.

[Anonymous]

In short, OP, looks like the answer to your question is a resounding “no.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

So? You really want to risk your DH’s life and career and your kids public embarrassment bc of whatever you think confronting the OW will accomplish? Grow up, or save it for reality TV.

Do you catastrophize on a regular basis? You should get therapy for that.

Uh, this is very typical fallout from a discovered and publicized affair. Maybe not getting shot but the rest yes. You want to put your private life on a billboard be my guest but more people than not handle this privately.

No it’s not. The vast majority of affairs revealed have no impact on life, career, or public standing. Especially for men. You fantasy world is not reality, which is a common theme for people who engage in affairs.

There are therapists that can help you get out of that destructive way of thinking.