Has confronting the other woman ever gone well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

You sound crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out about DH's affair and confronted his AP, only to be shocked by her accusatory stance and lack of empathy. Is this really happening?

Are you in one of those marriages that shouldn't continue but you won't let go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out about DH's affair and confronted his AP, only to be shocked by her accusatory stance and lack of empathy. Is this really happening?

Gone well in what way? What were you hoping for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out about DH's affair and confronted his AP, only to be shocked by her accusatory stance and lack of empathy. Is this really happening?

If you want to salvage this marriage, don't back down. If they were indeed having an affair, calmly confronting both was needed. What's the worse that can happen? Yes, your husband is the one who betrayed his vows but she is an adult woman knowingly participating in destroying a family. You did nothing wrong.

Now make up your mind about staying or leaving. If you are staying then ask your husband if he wants couple's counseling or divorce. Take it from there.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I have considered contacting an OW from a very long time ago (but I just found out about it) to ask her some questions about how the situation came about and eventually ended. There’s some aspects that my spouse isn’t sure about and/or can’t remember as it was more than 15 years ago.

And I would like it if she could validate for me what he has told me about how it ended- that he ended it when he told her how awful he felt about the whole thing and he realized he didn’t love her the way he loved me. Spouse is okay with the idea, I just can’t decide if it would be worth it or just more upsetting than the whole thing already is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's ex-wife confronted me. He and I became friends after they'd started divorce proceedings and didn't date until after his divorce was finalized. She apparently thought differently and wanted to confront me about it, and while she was at it, about things I did with their kids. She thought I was home alone and didn't realize DH was one room over and could hear her.

It's been four years since that and I'm still not sure she's recovered.

Not sure what the point of this story is. What did he do to her that she hasn't recovered from it for 4 years?

He didn't do anything. She hasn't recovered from the embarrassment of trying to confront me for being a homewrecker and having it proven by my husband (her ex) that I wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

If your H is having multiple affairs then HE is the problem not other women. No point in confronting them. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's ex-wife confronted me. He and I became friends after they'd started divorce proceedings and didn't date until after his divorce was finalized. She apparently thought differently and wanted to confront me about it, and while she was at it, about things I did with their kids. She thought I was home alone and didn't realize DH was one room over and could hear her.

It's been four years since that and I'm still not sure she's recovered.

Not sure what the point of this story is. What did he do to her that she hasn't recovered from it for 4 years?

He didn't do anything. She hasn't recovered from the embarrassment of trying to confront me for being a homewrecker and having it proven by my husband (her ex) that I wasn't.

Now that you are married, you should understand her animosity due to the trauma of a broken marriage and a shattered life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people on here are cheaters. Additionally, people will gaslight you into believing that the AP is not at fault.

Yes, confront them. If they have a partner, tell them too. Nobody should have to unknowingly risk their health because their partner is a lying s**t.

How is it the AP's fault?

NO it is the cheaters fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

If your H is having multiple affairs then HE is the problem not other women. No point in confronting them. Move on.

+1

You married a cheater.

The fault lies in DH not the AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people on here are cheaters. Additionally, people will gaslight you into believing that the AP is not at fault.

Yes, confront them. If they have a partner, tell them too. Nobody should have to unknowingly risk their health because their partner is a lying s**t.

How is it the AP's fault?

NO it is the cheaters fault.

Why can’t it be mostly the cheaters fault and partly the AP’s fault?

[Anonymous]

I’ve probably watched 60 episodes of Maury and in all those episodes I’ve never once seen anyone come out for the better after confronting a cheaters paramour. The thing I never understood was why they were both angry at each other when it was really the man who deserved the anger.

I think Pluto has a full-time Springer/Maury channel, watch for a little while and I think you’ll see a pattern develop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's ex-wife confronted me. He and I became friends after they'd started divorce proceedings and didn't date until after his divorce was finalized. She apparently thought differently and wanted to confront me about it, and while she was at it, about things I did with their kids. She thought I was home alone and didn't realize DH was one room over and could hear her.

It's been four years since that and I'm still not sure she's recovered.

Not sure what the point of this story is. What did he do to her that she hasn't recovered from it for 4 years?

He didn't do anything. She hasn't recovered from the embarrassment of trying to confront me for being a homewrecker and having it proven by my husband (her ex) that I wasn't.

Now that you are married, you should understand her animosity due to the trauma of a broken marriage and a shattered life.

Huh? I am divorced (and remarried) and don't feel trauma from it and don't feel I have a shattered life at all.

[Anonymous]

There was a poster on DCUM who stole the AP’s Christmas yard decorations or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is telling her you are irrational, angry, and crazy. Confronting her would just actually reassure the OW that you are in fact all these things. You’d be playing right into their hands.

Far better to pretend like she doesn’t exist, because eventually she’s going to start to wonder if all the lies your husband told her about you are even true. He’s definitely been explaining how you are a horrible nagging harpee that deserved to be cheated on because your marriage was already dead. Make her doubt his narrative by behaving like an absolute class act.