Has confronting the other woman ever gone well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

So? You really want to risk your DH’s life and career and your kids public embarrassment bc of whatever you think confronting the OW will accomplish? Grow up, or save it for reality TV.

Do you catastrophize on a regular basis? You should get therapy for that.

Uh, this is very typical fallout from a discovered and publicized affair. Maybe not getting shot but the rest yes. You want to put your private life on a billboard be my guest but more people than not handle this privately.

“Risking life and career”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Uh ok. I make $250k. It’s my money too and my shared properties. Me. There’s a lot to lose for not saying something and ending it.

It’s just like a dumb ow to not think the guy she’s banging wealth and homes had a lot to do with his wife.

You only make $250K? Snort.

Only 3% of women make $250K or more so I’m sure she is top of the food chain and far above anybody that says “snort”.

Keep telling yourself that, underachiever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

Oh no! That would be too inconvenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

Just because your biological age is old , your developmental age is young. It’s common in people who were abused, had a traumatic event in adolescence.

The reality is and what mature people understand is all actions matter whether you have a vow or not. It incredibly immature thinking that you are only a good person toward someone if you have a vow with that person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

So? You really want to risk your DH’s life and career and your kids public embarrassment bc of whatever you think confronting the OW will accomplish? Grow up, or save it for reality TV.

Do you catastrophize on a regular basis? You should get therapy for that.

Uh, this is very typical fallout from a discovered and publicized affair. Maybe not getting shot but the rest yes. You want to put your private life on a billboard be my guest but more people than not handle this privately.

No it’s not. The vast majority of affairs revealed have no impact on life, career, or public standing. Especially for men. You fantasy world is not reality, which is a common theme for people who engage in affairs.

There are therapists that can help you get out of that destructive way of thinking.

Lol come back here another day and check on the posts by kids who learned about their parents infidelity and tell me again how it has no effect. Or the lawsuits filed once these affairs end badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Uh ok. I make $250k. It’s my money too and my shared properties. Me. There’s a lot to lose for not saying something and ending it.

It’s just like a dumb ow to not think the guy she’s banging wealth and homes had a lot to do with his wife.

You only make $250K? Snort.

Only 3% of women make $250K or more so I’m sure she is top of the food chain and far above anybody that says “snort”.

Keep telling yourself that, underachiever.

Math is not your strong point, nor is English for that matter, or IQ, or EQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Let’s change your first sentence:

Sleeping with someone else’s spouse could get someone killed.


Christ. The passion from betrayal causes stable people to do crazy things. It all would never happen if the cheating didn’t happen in the first place. End of story.

So? You really want to risk your DH’s life and career and your kids public embarrassment bc of whatever you think confronting the OW will accomplish? Grow up, or save it for reality TV.

Do you catastrophize on a regular basis? You should get therapy for that.

Uh, this is very typical fallout from a discovered and publicized affair. Maybe not getting shot but the rest yes. You want to put your private life on a billboard be my guest but more people than not handle this privately.

No it’s not. The vast majority of affairs revealed have no impact on life, career, or public standing. Especially for men. You fantasy world is not reality, which is a common theme for people who engage in affairs.

There are therapists that can help you get out of that destructive way of thinking.

Lol come back here another day and check on the posts by kids who learned about their parents infidelity and tell me again how it has no effect. Or the lawsuits filed once these affairs end badly.

Do you need a recommendation for a therapist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

Just because your biological age is old , your developmental age is young. It’s common in people who were abused, had a traumatic event in adolescence.

The reality is and what mature people understand is all actions matter whether you have a vow or not. It incredibly immature thinking that you are only a good person toward someone if you have a vow with that person.

The glossing over of the obvious self-interest in forgiving the cheater and demonizing the OW is laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Uh ok. I make $250k. It’s my money too and my shared properties. Me. There’s a lot to lose for not saying something and ending it.

It’s just like a dumb ow to not think the guy she’s banging wealth and homes had a lot to do with his wife.

You only make $250K? Snort.

Only 3% of women make $250K or more so I’m sure she is top of the food chain and far above anybody that says “snort”.

Keep telling yourself that, underachiever.

Math is not your strong point, nor is English for that matter, or IQ, or EQ.

Yet somehow I am better educated than you and out-earn you. Wild!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

Just because your biological age is old , your developmental age is young. It’s common in people who were abused, had a traumatic event in adolescence.

The reality is and what mature people understand is all actions matter whether you have a vow or not. It incredibly immature thinking that you are only a good person toward someone if you have a vow with that person.

The glossing over of the obvious self-interest in forgiving the cheater and demonizing the OW is laughable.

I actually think you forgive both but you can’t do that if it all stays under cover of the night. I think the best thing for the OW is for her to understand she absolutely has culpability, she also deserves more and finds a path to a full and positive life. That a rarely comes without a little or a lot of pain.

Self analysis and actualization collaboration is a long hard road for both the h and OW, or wife and AP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Uh ok. I make $250k. It’s my money too and my shared properties. Me. There’s a lot to lose for not saying something and ending it.

It’s just like a dumb ow to not think the guy she’s banging wealth and homes had a lot to do with his wife.

You only make $250K? Snort.

Only 3% of women make $250K or more so I’m sure she is top of the food chain and far above anybody that says “snort”.

Keep telling yourself that, underachiever.

Math is not your strong point, nor is English for that matter, or IQ, or EQ.

Yet somehow I am better educated than you and out-earn you. Wild!

You don’t know my education or my salary (lol) but more important my portfolio. You just are very uneducated about how impressive it is for someone to make $250K and you must have some serious mental health issues to want to pretend it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

Just because your biological age is old , your developmental age is young. It’s common in people who were abused, had a traumatic event in adolescence.

The reality is and what mature people understand is all actions matter whether you have a vow or not. It incredibly immature thinking that you are only a good person toward someone if you have a vow with that person.

The glossing over of the obvious self-interest in forgiving the cheater and demonizing the OW is laughable.

What “self interest”?

I’m not an OW and my DH has never cheated on me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

Just because your biological age is old , your developmental age is young. It’s common in people who were abused, had a traumatic event in adolescence.

The reality is and what mature people understand is all actions matter whether you have a vow or not. It incredibly immature thinking that you are only a good person toward someone if you have a vow with that person.

Nope. Just someone who sees the misdirected anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reaching out to the spouse could get someone killed. Also so often the APs have a lot to lose socially if the affair comes to light. So the BW won’t confront the AP or her DH bc it would make the cheating husband look bad at work if everyone knew, expose him or his firm to a lawsuit, or whatever. So the cheating husband strings along the OW until she thinks it’s her idea to end it so he isn’t materially harmed and the wife says nothing because it’s her $ too.

Uh ok. I make $250k. It’s my money too and my shared properties. Me. There’s a lot to lose for not saying something and ending it.

It’s just like a dumb ow to not think the guy she’s banging wealth and homes had a lot to do with his wife.

You only make $250K? Snort.

Only 3% of women make $250K or more so I’m sure she is top of the food chain and far above anybody that says “snort”.

Keep telling yourself that, underachiever.

Math is not your strong point, nor is English for that matter, or IQ, or EQ.

Yet somehow I am better educated than you and out-earn you. Wild!

You don’t know my education or my salary (lol) but more important my portfolio. You just are very uneducated about how impressive it is for someone to make $250K and you must have some serious mental health issues to want to pretend it’s not.

The 1% cutoff for women in 2022 is actually $296K. For men it’s $500K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a bunch of lunatics, letting the Other Woman off scot free.

She deserved to be punished, so she was.

I can see why your DH cheated.

A 16 year old has entered the thread.

Just someone (an old someone) who recognizes where the fault lies. If you want to “punish” anyone it should be your DH who broke his vows.

Just because your biological age is old , your developmental age is young. It’s common in people who were abused, had a traumatic event in adolescence.

The reality is and what mature people understand is all actions matter whether you have a vow or not. It incredibly immature thinking that you are only a good person toward someone if you have a vow with that person.

The glossing over of the obvious self-interest in forgiving the cheater and demonizing the OW is laughable.

I actually think you forgive both but you can’t do that if it all stays under cover of the night. I think the best thing for the OW is for her to understand she absolutely has culpability, she also deserves more and finds a path to a full and positive life. That a rarely comes without a little or a lot of pain.

Self analysis and actualization collaboration is a long hard road for both the h and OW, or wife and AP.

+1.

Has nothing to do with whether the BW confronts the OW though.