Has confronting the other woman ever gone well?

[Anonymous]

I seriously contemplated mailing the OW glitter bombs for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

A third party cannot waltz in and break up a happy, healthy marriage. Your spouse was clearly open to the idea of being with someone else, so all the fault is with him. The AP doesn't matter, and there is no pointing in "confronting" her. Even if she goes away, your DH will still be looking for another woman because he isn't satisfied with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

Are you still married to this cheater? I really love these stories and if he cheats again I hope you can do something similar to the next OW.

Lol no. But we are still close.

I don’t take cheating personally because it’s just a flaw in the cheater.

I see these women as just flawed. My best friend was an OW, so I saw her just get used and abused. I feel bad for anyone who lets themselves get used like this.. but I’m also not walking away quietly. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

Wow you’re such a loser. The problem is your serially cheating DH not the other womEN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

You sound crazy.

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

If your H is having multiple affairs then HE is the problem not other women. No point in confronting them. Move on.

I think they are all a problem and I took care of each of them in the manner they deserved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve probably watched 60 episodes of Maury and in all those episodes I’ve never once seen anyone come out for the better after confronting a cheaters paramour. The thing I never understood was why they were both angry at each other when it was really the man who deserved the anger.

I think Pluto has a full-time Springer/Maury channel, watch for a little while and I think you’ll see a pattern develop.

Not every confrontation is a Maury show. They don’t air the boring ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

Wow you’re such a loser. The problem is your serially cheating DH not the other womEN.

Yes he was a problem so was my friend who was an OW and the little girl.

They were all a problem and they were all dealt with.

[Anonymous]

The OW contacted my best friend and it finally gave her the will to leave her crappy marriage. She and the OW never spoke again, but I think she's grateful for the OW reaching out and backing it up with irrefutable evidence. The OW was angry that her exDH was stringing her along and she shared evidence not just of their affair, but one other woman before her, who my friend had already suspected but was with in plausible deniability. However, I'm not sure all this coming out and the ensuing changes made anyone's lives better. The OW is still single and no idea what she's up to these days. My friend paired up with another single dad and between them, they have a lot of kids. She more or less pushed her exDH out of the picture by telling everyone in her orbit what happened to the point where he felt ashamed to go anywhere in his former town. He deserved it, sure. But not long after, he remarried a much younger woman and moved across the country with her to start a new life and family. Not sure how much he sees the older kids anymore - they're all off in college or young adults now. My friend was on her own raising teenagers for a number of years and her new guy had teenagers of his own, so it was chaotic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I have considered contacting an OW from a very long time ago (but I just found out about it) to ask her some questions about how the situation came about and eventually ended. There’s some aspects that my spouse isn’t sure about and/or can’t remember as it was more than 15 years ago.

And I would like it if she could validate for me what he has told me about how it ended- that he ended it when he told her how awful he felt about the whole thing and he realized he didn’t love her the way he loved me. Spouse is okay with the idea, I just can’t decide if it would be worth it or just more upsetting than the whole thing already is.

In your situation I would do it. It probably looks very different to her after all this time too.

[Anonymous]

Unless he's also lying to her and she doesn't know he's married, no, it never goes well. She has been primed to think you are [fill in bad qualities], she's not going to beg for your forgiveness, and you can very easily look like a vindictive loon. Your issue is with your spouse; deal with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

Are you still married to this cheater? I really love these stories and if he cheats again I hope you can do something similar to the next OW.

Lol no. But we are still close.

I don’t take cheating personally because it’s just a flaw in the cheater.

I see these women as just flawed. My best friend was an OW, so I saw her just get used and abused. I feel bad for anyone who lets themselves get used like this.. but I’m also not walking away quietly. Lol.

Aren't most OWs already married? Then the cheaters are getting exactly what they came for. I don't understand this misogynistic narrative that the female in the relationship is always getting "used up" and "thrown out". I mean, they want sex and excitement and attention and they are getting it. 90% of them don't want to blow up their families either.

Your problem is with your spouse. It only makes you look crazy to go after the other person, though it's understandable to hate them with the fire of a thousand suns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Because the problem is YOUR HUSBAND. He probably told her all sorts of lies about you. Of course she's going to be on his side...

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

Are you still married to this cheater? I really love these stories and if he cheats again I hope you can do something similar to the next OW.

Lol no. But we are still close.

I don’t take cheating personally because it’s just a flaw in the cheater.

I see these women as just flawed. My best friend was an OW, so I saw her just get used and abused. I feel bad for anyone who lets themselves get used like this.. but I’m also not walking away quietly. Lol.

Aren't most OWs already married? Then the cheaters are getting exactly what they came for. I don't understand this misogynistic narrative that the female in the relationship is always getting "used up" and "thrown out". I mean, they want sex and excitement and attention and they are getting it. 90% of them don't want to blow up their families either.

Your problem is with your spouse. It only makes you look crazy to go after the other person, though it's understandable to hate them with the fire of a thousand suns.

My best friend wanted to get married to him. Yes she was married to a great guy. Her work found out, she was fired. He continued to use her until finally she realized it and got the therapy.

Both my H’s affairs expected to marry him. I think if it’s just for fun, just walk away quietly when it’s over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I emailed her H. That was pretty satisfying. She was part of a friends group and cutting them off was also satisfying because they tried to pretend to “my friend” to get information for her. I stayed friends with the ones that just didn’t get involved. The ones I cut off are still a little bitter.

I actually confronted another one because she was single. She also wrote me a letter begging me to be friends and she’d promise not to sleep with my h anymore. I told her about the married one, that was fun. She told me I was a bad wife, lol. I ran into her dad and said, “your daughter dates married men btw, I think she needs therapy”. He later made her get therapy do I feel I did the world a favor

I am not afraid of conflict so it was fine for me but I think it’s bad if you avoid conflict or that brings you anxiety.

Are you still married to this cheater? I really love these stories and if he cheats again I hope you can do something similar to the next OW.

Lol no. But we are still close.

I don’t take cheating personally because it’s just a flaw in the cheater.

I see these women as just flawed. My best friend was an OW, so I saw her just get used and abused. I feel bad for anyone who lets themselves get used like this.. but I’m also not walking away quietly. Lol.

Aren't most OWs already married? Then the cheaters are getting exactly what they came for. I don't understand this misogynistic narrative that the female in the relationship is always getting "used up" and "thrown out". I mean, they want sex and excitement and attention and they are getting it. 90% of them don't want to blow up their families either.

Your problem is with your spouse. It only makes you look crazy to go after the other person, though it's understandable to hate them with the fire of a thousand suns.

My best friend wanted to get married to him. Yes she was married to a great guy. Her work found out, she was fired. He continued to use her until finally she realized it and got the therapy.

Both my H’s affairs expected to marry him. I think if it’s just for fun, just walk away quietly when it’s over.

Also, I don’t hate them at all. Hate is a useless emotion.