Frustrated with husband and mother in law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

Talk about going from 0 to 100. So don’t leave your kids with anyone or send them to school. Teacher could have a stroke, college babysitter could have a heart attack, don’t let another parent drive them because they could have a seizure on the road and die in a tragic accident.. a lot of emergency situations running through your head. I think you’re the one with anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow, there seems to be a one or two hate-filled trolls on this thread, attacking the OP.

Hi, OP!

[Anonymous]

I am 56 and I would refuse to do this for my grandkids. I would be disgusted if my children wanted to go on a vacation without my grandkids. Sure, I will help in an emergency, and I often keep my grandkids overnight to give my children a break, but to expect DH and I to be the sole care providers for 12 days is not an ask my kids would have of us. We have raised better children than your parents have, OP.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

Talk about going from 0 to 100. So don’t leave your kids with anyone or send them to school. Teacher could have a stroke, college babysitter could have a heart attack, don’t let another parent drive them because they could have a seizure on the road and die in a tragic accident.. a lot of emergency situations running through your head. I think you’re the one with anxiety.

OP’s acting like there is literally a zero percent chance that MIL has health issues, mental health issues, or some kind of health/capability scare that is what made her abruptly change her mind. If OP cared about her MIL *at all* she would at least say, “Maybe you are right and there’s some factor here I don’t know about; I’ll ask if she’s OK.” The fact that she refuses to even ask = she doesn’t care about MIL in the slightest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are crazy. My mom takes my older kids for 3-4 weeks every summer and we don’t pay anything (other than flights).
My grandma took her 4 grandchildren on vacations every summer for 2-3 weeks and always paid for everything. These are people who are supposed to love and want to spend time with their grandchildren.
Granted we are not Americans (thankfully).

What a sad world we live in where you have to pay grandparents to spend 12 days with their grandchildren. So glad my family is different.

OP, your MIL sucks

"Thankfully" that you aren't American. Then go back to your third world country. I am sick of people like you crapping over my country that has given you opportunities you would never have had otherwise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

Np and you’re really reaching here. Lots of people leave their children in the care of a 60 year old. I don’t understand bringing up crazy stories of young people who got sick. Should none of us ever stay home with our children alone?

[Anonymous]

Jeez OP, I'd abandon this thread now. You've gotten some good suggestions. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow, there seems to be a one or two hate-filled trolls on this thread, attacking the OP.

Yah, there’s a lot of rage in here. Kids thrive from spending time with grandparents. Some of you can take any situation and twist it into something so different from what it is. It’s fine she doesn’t want to do it but I do think the time to speak up was months ago when we discussed all the options and asked her about it, not this late in the game. I actually have no issue taking the kids at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

Talk about going from 0 to 100. So don’t leave your kids with anyone or send them to school. Teacher could have a stroke, college babysitter could have a heart attack, don’t let another parent drive them because they could have a seizure on the road and die in a tragic accident.. a lot of emergency situations running through your head. I think you’re the one with anxiety.

OP’s acting like there is literally a zero percent chance that MIL has health issues, mental health issues, or some kind of health/capability scare that is what made her abruptly change her mind. If OP cared about her MIL *at all* she would at least say, “Maybe you are right and there’s some factor here I don’t know about; I’ll ask if she’s OK.” The fact that she refuses to even ask = she doesn’t care about MIL in the slightest.

She sees her MIL often. You crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

Talk about going from 0 to 100. So don’t leave your kids with anyone or send them to school. Teacher could have a stroke, college babysitter could have a heart attack, don’t let another parent drive them because they could have a seizure on the road and die in a tragic accident.. a lot of emergency situations running through your head. I think you’re the one with anxiety.

Apples to Oranges comparison. The question here is that an elderly care provider spoke up and said that she is not capable of doing the babysitting. OP is not delegating childcare. She is basically trying to get away with dereliction of parental duties. She is in fact a neglectful parent. I hope her DH recognizes this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

Talk about going from 0 to 100. So don’t leave your kids with anyone or send them to school. Teacher could have a stroke, college babysitter could have a heart attack, don’t let another parent drive them because they could have a seizure on the road and die in a tragic accident.. a lot of emergency situations running through your head. I think you’re the one with anxiety.

OP’s acting like there is literally a zero percent chance that MIL has health issues, mental health issues, or some kind of health/capability scare that is what made her abruptly change her mind. If OP cared about her MIL *at all* she would at least say, “Maybe you are right and there’s some factor here I don’t know about; I’ll ask if she’s OK.” The fact that she refuses to even ask = she doesn’t care about MIL in the slightest.

She sees her MIL often. You crazy.

OP is speaking about herself in third person!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 56 and I would refuse to do this for my grandkids. I would be disgusted if my children wanted to go on a vacation without my grandkids. Sure, I will help in an emergency, and I often keep my grandkids overnight to give my children a break, but to expect DH and I to be the sole care providers for 12 days is not an ask my kids would have of us. We have raised better children than your parents have, OP.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

She was asked, there was no expectation.

Also we aren’t white and not sure why that’s even an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Wow, there seems to be a one or two hate-filled trolls on this thread, attacking the OP.

Yah, there’s a lot of rage in here. Kids thrive from spending time with grandparents. Some of you can take any situation and twist it into something so different from what it is. It’s fine she doesn’t want to do it but I do think the time to speak up was months ago when we discussed all the options and asked her about it, not this late in the game. I actually have no issue taking the kids at all.

Nope, you don't. Everything you have said or written about your parenting shows how detached you are from parenting. Are these your biological kids you have birthed yourself?

[Anonymous]

If she can't do it, she can't do it. Little kids are hard work. It sucks she is throwing a temper tantrum and leaving you in a lurch. For sure. But long term baby sitting is still very hard, even with lots of support. My own mother does it, but that doesn't make it any less difficult! I don't fault the other grandparents who are not interested. My kids have 7 grandparent figures, only my mom is interested (and heavily invested!) in day to day care of them. The rest can't/don't want to. That's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

Np and you’re really reaching here. Lots of people leave their children in the care of a 60 year old. I don’t understand bringing up crazy stories of young people who got sick. Should none of us ever stay home with our children alone?

Yes, dear. Lots of 60somethings do, indeed, take care of their grandkids and such. What with them agreeing to do so, you can tell they are comfortable and capable and up to the task. That’s how you can tell if someone is up to the task of childcare: if they are willing to do so and are comfortable with it and are OK with it.

I’ve left my kids in the care of both my parents and my ILs, all in their 70s. They were eager to do so and expressed no reservation. I’ve left my kids in the care of my aunt in her 50s, same deal. And in the care of babysitters in their 20s, same deal. All were confident, comfortable and willing to take on the task.

Age aside, would you really live your kids for 12 days in the care of ANYONE who said, out loud, directly to your face that they were not up to the task? Would you really leave your kids in the care of someone who said they weren’t up to the task and then hop on a plane to leave the country? If so, you are a terrible parent.