Frustrated with husband and mother in law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

Do you not understand that there's a big difference between 31 and 61? I'm starting to think this is all going to be a wonderful life lesson for you.

Many of you are 50’s and 60’s. Are you really saying you couldn’t watch a kid one hour a day,

They are getting professional childcare from 8:30am to 6:30 pm
daily.

Not in 50s or 60s and it's not one kid and its not one hour. Kids wake up and need breakfast, dinner, bathing, and what if they get sick in the middle of the night. Are you actually the parent of 2 young kids? You can't imagine all the things that might go wrong and how the responsibility might be overwhelming? I'm starting to smell a in law hating troll.

My kids make their own breakfast everyday. Waffle and fruit. My kids shower themselves and shampoo their own hair. We have a list of 10 families to call in case of an emergency that live within a mile of our house. It’s really not that hard. Also just say no but 3 days before is a little much to spring it on us.

Your 4 and 6 year olds? So is that really your position - your 4 and 6 year olds don't need any care other than being physically transported places?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

Can you really not perceive that this was stressing her out and she doesn't feel capable of handling it? It is unfortunate that your plans had to change, but you really seem to have zero understanding that you were still asking for A LOT and that she can't do it. The fact that you were paying her and doing all that other stuff (ordering in dinner every night for 12 nights? ok) makes it even higher pressure in some ways. It's like you set it all up so she could have no possible way to say no.

Again, damned if you do damned if you don’t. We use a local meal delivery service and if we asked her to do anything and didn’t offer to pay people would be jumping all over that. Just say NO. But don’t do it 3 days before. We know many families where the grandparents take the kids for granny camp, are full time nannies (get paid by parents) and many that are involved in the kids lives.

Are you White, OP? Because you are sounding like a self-centered and entitled user. Glad that your MIL spoke up. If she cannot handle your kids, she cannot handle your kids. And your obsession with paying the grandparents is also very low class. She is not your maid or nanny. She is the grandmother and she has the right to be involved as much as she wants without compromising her physical and mental health. You are really a disgusting DIL and even worse mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

Do you not understand that there's a big difference between 31 and 61? I'm starting to think this is all going to be a wonderful life lesson for you.

Many of you are 50’s and 60’s. Are you really saying you couldn’t watch a kid one hour a day,

Not in 50s or 60s and it's not one kid and its not one hour. Kids wake up and need breakfast, dinner, bathing, and what if they get sick in the middle of the night. Are you actually the parent of 2 young kids? You can't imagine all the things that might go wrong and how the responsibility might be overwhelming? I'm starting to smell a in law hating troll.

My kids make their own breakfast everyday. Waffle and fruit. My kids shower themselves and shampoo their own hair. We have a list of 10 families to call in case of an emergency that live within a mile of our house. It’s really not that hard. Also just say no but 3 days before is a little much to spring it on us.

You sound horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

Can you really not perceive that this was stressing her out and she doesn't feel capable of handling it? It is unfortunate that your plans had to change, but you really seem to have zero understanding that you were still asking for A LOT and that she can't do it. The fact that you were paying her and doing all that other stuff (ordering in dinner every night for 12 nights? ok) makes it even higher pressure in some ways. It's like you set it all up so she could have no possible way to say no.

+1

She likely already had anxiety over the situation and then she came and one thing went wrong and all her pent up anxiety just overwhelmed her and she was just done with the situation.
She was probably sincere in her offer and probably did want to do it when she agreed but as the time got closer she got more and more anxious and realized it wasn't such a good idea.
She would have had to show up and figure it all out on day one. She hasn't done camp drop off in many years I bet.
You should have planned for her to come a day or two before you were leaving so she could shadow you around and get a feel for the routine.
It totally sucks that you have to change plans this late in the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

Do you not understand that there's a big difference between 31 and 61? I'm starting to think this is all going to be a wonderful life lesson for you.

Many of you are 50’s and 60’s. Are you really saying you couldn’t watch a kid one hour a day,

They are getting professional childcare from 8:30am to 6:30 pm
daily.

Not in 50s or 60s and it's not one kid and its not one hour. Kids wake up and need breakfast, dinner, bathing, and what if they get sick in the middle of the night. Are you actually the parent of 2 young kids? You can't imagine all the things that might go wrong and how the responsibility might be overwhelming? I'm starting to smell a in law hating troll.

My kids make their own breakfast everyday. Waffle and fruit. My kids shower themselves and shampoo their own hair. We have a list of 10 families to call in case of an emergency that live within a mile of our house. It’s really not that hard. Also just say no but 3 days before is a little much to spring it on us.

Your 4 and 6 year olds? So is that really your position - your 4 and 6 year olds don't need any care other than being physically transported places?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

You don’t know that she’s in good health. And FFS people can be sick at all ages. I have a friend who died of a heart attack at the age of 49. My uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in his early 50s. Anyone can have a stroke—just read a story about a girl at UMD who was studying abroad and had a stroke at the age of 21. They refused to stop asking about drugs so she left the ER in Ireland and returned home. They diagnosed the stroke too late and she has aphasia as a result.

You are a total B and I’m glad you aren’t getting the vacation you wanted. Serves you right.

[Anonymous]

Wow, there seems to be a one or two hate-filled trolls on this thread, attacking the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

Do you not understand that there's a big difference between 31 and 61? I'm starting to think this is all going to be a wonderful life lesson for you.

Many of you are 50’s and 60’s. Are you really saying you couldn’t watch a kid one hour a day,

They are getting professional childcare from 8:30am to 6:30 pm
daily.

Not in 50s or 60s and it's not one kid and its not one hour. Kids wake up and need breakfast, dinner, bathing, and what if they get sick in the middle of the night. Are you actually the parent of 2 young kids? You can't imagine all the things that might go wrong and how the responsibility might be overwhelming? I'm starting to smell a in law hating troll.

My kids make their own breakfast everyday. Waffle and fruit. My kids shower themselves and shampoo their own hair. We have a list of 10 families to call in case of an emergency that live within a mile of our house. It’s really not that hard. Also just say no but 3 days before is a little much to spring it on us.

Your 4 and 6 year olds? So is that really your position - your 4 and 6 year olds don't need any care other than being physically transported places?

OP, why not book uber for your children for 12 days. That is the level of care your kids need, right? The uber driver will suffice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wow, there seems to be a one or two hate-filled trolls on this thread, attacking the OP.

To be fair, OP is the original troll.

[Anonymous]

She has done camp drop off because she lives near us and she sees the kids several days a week.

[Anonymous]

OP is the DIL from Hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

It's too much for her. The dog, the kids, etc. Get that through your thick skull. Get over the money aspect and don't use that to guilt trip her or hang over her head. She doesn't want to do it so it doesn't happen. Now you know not to rely on her in the future.

This is all so bizarre. She is 61 and in good health. Literally a few years older than some of you saying she can’t handle it.

Do you not understand that there's a big difference between 31 and 61? I'm starting to think this is all going to be a wonderful life lesson for you.

Many of you are 50’s and 60’s. Are you really saying you couldn’t watch a kid one hour a day,

Not in 50s or 60s and it's not one kid and its not one hour. Kids wake up and need breakfast, dinner, bathing, and what if they get sick in the middle of the night. Are you actually the parent of 2 young kids? You can't imagine all the things that might go wrong and how the responsibility might be overwhelming? I'm starting to smell a in law hating troll.

My kids make their own breakfast everyday. Waffle and fruit. My kids shower themselves and shampoo their own hair. We have a list of 10 families to call in case of an emergency that live within a mile of our house. It’s really not that hard. Also just say no but 3 days before is a little much to spring it on us.

You and DH don’t even make your 4yo breakfast? Wow, you’re terrible parents.

[Anonymous]

If your kids take care of themselves and are no hassle why do you even need a vacation? You don't have to lift a finger so not sure what your problem is. Everyday is like a vacation in your house since life is so easy.

[Anonymous]

OP, just ask Jeff to delete this thread (by reporting or asking on Website Feedback) - there are too many troll posts.

Your MIL just sabotaged your vacation at the last minute and that sucks. None of this is your fault, and I'm sorry it happened.

Please don't count on her again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason she decided she changed her mind was because she stayed to watch our dog when we were away for a night as a family and my husband messed up the tv remote control and it started from “I’m
not watching the kids anymore” because she was upset about the remote and it turned into “I’m not doing this for you anymore”. I’m fine with whatever she decide: and now we are taking the kids but don’t get upset about something and change your mind a few days before the trip because it costs us big time.

Can you really not perceive that this was stressing her out and she doesn't feel capable of handling it? It is unfortunate that your plans had to change, but you really seem to have zero understanding that you were still asking for A LOT and that she can't do it. The fact that you were paying her and doing all that other stuff (ordering in dinner every night for 12 nights? ok) makes it even higher pressure in some ways. It's like you set it all up so she could have no possible way to say no.

Again, damned if you do damned if you don’t. We use a local meal delivery service and if we asked her to do anything and didn’t offer to pay people would be jumping all over that. Just say NO. But don’t do it 3 days before. We know many families where the grandparents take the kids for granny camp, are full time nannies (get paid by parents) and many that are involved in the kids lives.

Are you White, OP? Because you are sounding like a self-centered and entitled user. Glad that your MIL spoke up. If she cannot handle your kids, she cannot handle your kids. And your obsession with paying the grandparents is also very low class. She is not your maid or nanny. She is the grandmother and she has the right to be involved as much as she wants without compromising her physical and mental health. You are really a disgusting DIL and even worse mother.

Np. What is wrong with you? White people don’t rely on grandparent help any more than any other race, and probably less as other cultures tend to have more inter generational families. And, no, she doesn’t have a “right” to be involved as much as she wants. In one sentence you say she has this right and in another it’s she can’t handle the kids. You’re not even consistent.

I don’t understand the hate on OP at all. No problem if the MIL didn’t want to do this, but it is a problem to flake out at the last minute.