Frustrated with husband and mother in law

[Anonymous]

Shorten your trip to the 6 days and NEVER ask her to babysit again. NEVER. Burn me once, shame on you....

Next time get a paid sitter or another family member to watch them. Take shorter trips, take them with you, take them to a pace that offers child care. Lots of options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because he doesn’t even try to reason with her

I suggest your husband goes home early to take care of the kids and you stay and enjoy your vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just hire a sitter

Yes but on 3 days notice I am scrambling. This is something I would have liked to know about before booking so so could have taken the kids or interviewed sitters and found a good fit

If you want to abandon your kids for two weeks that’s on you but clearly she does not want to be responsible for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just hire a sitter

Yes but on 3 days notice I am scrambling. This is something I would have liked to know about before booking so so could have taken the kids or interviewed sitters and found a good fit

If you want to abandon your kids for two weeks that’s on you but clearly she does not want to be responsible for them.

I cannot help but feel the same thing. Anybody would think a 12-day vacation away from the kids these days is appropriate is also somebody who steamrolled grandma into saying yes in the first place. I would cancel that trip and get serious family therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody should be expected to do this. Take your kids with you next time, your trips alone are limited once you have kids. Now is the time to accept that and not ask for others to parent your kids for 2 weeks.

I wanted to take them and still do. My husband says it’s mean to take away her opportunity bc she was relying on the money aspect. We are spending far more to have her babysit with her fee and camps than the 2 international flights.

[Anonymous]

There are so many ridiculous people here.

Many grandparents would enjoy having their grandchildren for an extended period of time. My own parents would have jumped at the chance to watch my kids for 12 days. When I was a child, I spent weeks at a time with my grandmother in the summer.

Parents take vacations without their children. If you're a parent and you haven't, good for you, but it isn't unusual to do so.

If OP's MIL didn't want to do what she agreed to, she shouldn't have said she would. If MIL was here complaining about this, the DCUM bullies would tell her not to be a door mat and to just say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just hire a sitter

Yes but on 3 days notice I am scrambling. This is something I would have liked to know about before booking so so could have taken the kids or interviewed sitters and found a good fit

If you want to abandon your kids for two weeks that’s on you but clearly she does not want to be responsible for them.

Sorry, it’s not abandoning my kids. We have left them 4 days total and my son is 6. I stay home with the kids and have had them in 8 hours a week preschool, 2 day for their entire childhood before kinder. We are involved in their lives plenty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just hire a sitter

Yes but on 3 days notice I am scrambling. This is something I would have liked to know about before booking so so could have taken the kids or interviewed sitters and found a good fit

If you want to abandon your kids for two weeks that’s on you but clearly she does not want to be responsible for them.

I cannot help but feel the same thing. Anybody would think a 12-day vacation away from the kids these days is appropriate is also somebody who steamrolled grandma into saying yes in the first place. I would cancel that trip and get serious family therapy.

You're quite the drama queen.

[Anonymous]

OP. That is super frustrating. Be sure to have a conversation, not email/texts to see what the issue really is.

That is a long trip, but you planned well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shorten your trip to the 6 days and NEVER ask her to babysit again. NEVER. Burn me once, shame on you....

Next time get a paid sitter or another family member to watch them. Take shorter trips, take them with you, take them to a pace that offers child care. Lots of options.

I would happily take them. It’s just we are paying a massive premium this late in the game to make any changes. Simply say no. She wants the money but doesn’t want to do the job and I tried to make it as easy as possible. She’s with the kids about an hour or 2 a day. They wake up 7:30 and go to bed 7:30pm. They are in summer camp from 8:30am to 6:30pm.

[Anonymous]

My solution is to have the kids go. I would enjoy traveling with them.

My husbands solution was to change the flight so I come a week later (he’s working the first week) to appease his mom. I would have preferred to just take them since it would have cost less bc the changes were pricey to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody should be expected to do this. Take your kids with you next time, your trips alone are limited once you have kids. Now is the time to accept that and not ask for others to parent your kids for 2 weeks.

I wanted to take them and still do. My husband says it’s mean to take away her opportunity bc she was relying on the money aspect. We are spending far more to have her babysit with her fee and camps than the 2 international flights.

So give them what they want. Shorten the trip to 6 days and pay her for 6 days. She gets the length of visit she wants and your DH still gets to pay her some money.

[Anonymous]

Can you find a college student through your neighborhood FB? That would be my go-to in this situation.

[Anonymous]

agreed, I would find a part time nanny/babysitter at any price to do this (with overnights) at 4 and 6 its not too long to be away. I would be exceptionally disappointed that my MIL pulled out at the last second. Can she do part time? what more does she need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody should be expected to do this. Take your kids with you next time, your trips alone are limited once you have kids. Now is the time to accept that and not ask for others to parent your kids for 2 weeks.

I wanted to take them and still do. My husband says it’s mean to take away her opportunity bc she was relying on the money aspect. We are spending far more to have her babysit with her fee and camps than the 2 international flights.

So give them what they want. Shorten the trip to 6 days and pay her for 6 days. She gets the length of visit she wants and your DH still gets to pay her some money.

Which is what she did but if they could actually communicate and make those decisions in advance we wouldn’t be out a bunch of change fees and now I have to change all the logistics, cancel after care for camp for the kids, etc.. Just plan accordingly. Don’t spring it on me 3 days before. There’s a lot of logistics involved in something like this and neither of them ever handle that so are very unaware of it. My husband is on the phone with the airline for several hours now so he’s getting a small taste of it but I’m always the one dealing with it and they are both flighty and bad planners.