Less successful sister is acting like she's the de facto owner of dad's beach house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People can do whatever they want with their own things, including giving them to whoever they want when they die. OP you are not entitled to 1/3 of that house. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me for your father to divide his assets more equitably than equally. You have a second home nearby, and your sister likely won’t have one if he leaves the house to you all equally. He also probably knows your sister won’t sell it if it’s hers, whereas if some of it goes to you—you’ll sell his home of 50 years to get your 1/3 cut.

Work hard and bust your butt paying two 30 year mortgages. Dad is convinced you're "rich" and gives irresponsible sibling a pair of paid off houses, while you still have 20 or so years of mortgage payments left on your two. That's equity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can do whatever they want with their own things, including giving them to whoever they want when they die. OP you are not entitled to 1/3 of that house. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me for your father to divide his assets more equitably than equally. You have a second home nearby, and your sister likely won’t have one if he leaves the house to you all equally. He also probably knows your sister won’t sell it if it’s hers, whereas if some of it goes to you—you’ll sell his home of 50 years to get your 1/3 cut.

So if you have the work and credit history to qualify for a mortgage on a vacation home, which may not even have any equity at this point, you should be cut out of a will? And a sibling who lacked the work and credit history should be rewarded with a full ownership of at least a $1m vacation home, which is owned outright (essentially $1m plus cash)?

Maybe, if it is what the father wants. It may matter more to him to be able to give the house to one of his daughters than to split everything three ways. He gets to make that call. And there would be no reason to be mad at the sister. If you want to get mad at your dead father, then have at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People can do whatever they want with their own things, including giving them to whoever they want when they die. OP you are not entitled to 1/3 of that house. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me for your father to divide his assets more equitably than equally. You have a second home nearby, and your sister likely won’t have one if he leaves the house to you all equally. He also probably knows your sister won’t sell it if it’s hers, whereas if some of it goes to you—you’ll sell his home of 50 years to get your 1/3 cut.

Work hard and bust your butt paying two 30 year mortgages. Dad is convinced you're "rich" and gives irresponsible sibling a pair of paid off houses, while you still have 20 or so years of mortgage payments left on your two. That's equity?

Where are you getting this stuff?

[Anonymous]

If the house is shabby, why wouldn’t your dad and sister renovate it?

[Anonymous]

I left this morning and was looking forward to seeing where this thread went. OP, please do give an update after you talk to your dad. I'm fascinated for his POV.

[Anonymous]

Been there done that in our extended family. In hindsight it would have been a far better strategy to sell the beach house you own OP. Explain it is due to financial hardships and go back to staying in your dad's house when you visit.

Your dad is going to be convinced by your sister that it would be so great if the sisters each have a house by the beach so they can stay close. So yours will be paid for by you, while your sister will inherit the beach house. Guarantee this will happen if you keep your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been there done that in our extended family. In hindsight it would have been a far better strategy to sell the beach house you own OP. Explain it is due to financial hardships and go back to staying in your dad's house when you visit.

Your dad is going to be convinced by your sister that it would be so great if the sisters each have a house by the beach so they can stay close. So yours will be paid for by you, while your sister will inherit the beach house. Guarantee this will happen if you keep your house.

Yes.

And what nobody has mentioned yet on this post is that there is a certain ratio at play here. Old men and (not so old?) women. Your sister's presence may be helping everybody's inheritance a lot more than you realize. Do you really think Dad wants to do his own laundry and eat at the diner alone? That could be a $2M problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been there done that in our extended family. In hindsight it would have been a far better strategy to sell the beach house you own OP. Explain it is due to financial hardships and go back to staying in your dad's house when you visit.

Your dad is going to be convinced by your sister that it would be so great if the sisters each have a house by the beach so they can stay close. So yours will be paid for by you, while your sister will inherit the beach house. Guarantee this will happen if you keep your house.

Yes.

And what nobody has mentioned yet on this post is that there is a certain ratio at play here. Old men and (not so old?) women. Your sister's presence may be helping everybody's inheritance a lot more than you realize. Do you really think Dad wants to do his own laundry and eat at the diner alone? That could be a $2M problem.

Or OP could just continue owning her beach house and living her life while staying out of her dad’s business. It’s HIS house and he can do with it as he pleases. OP is not entitled to the family beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your dad about getting it moved into a trust now. I trusted my family and got completely shafted. Trust no one. Except a funded trust. Getting an irrevocable trust doc isn't enough either. Need to deed home to the trust too.

Wow. Why would dad do that now? Don't you think if he wanted to, he would have already set that up?

[Anonymous]

If anyone is trying to steal the inheritance it sounds like it’s OP. Takes one to know one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision happening when your father dies? Are you going to try to share your dad's beach house with your siblings? Buy them out? Sell them your share?

OP, you haven't answered. It's not $333K of cash sitting in a bank account. It's a place that can't be split easily three ways. It's clear that you think your sister is trying to steal it, which would be awful. But what's your dream scenario?

OP will want the house sold.

I don’t think so, OP mentioned that the family house is in a better location. I think the OP would sell their current beach house and buy out the sister and brother. That is why they don’t like the improvements in the sister’s style and the fact that the improvements would make the amount needed to buy their siblings out to be higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision happening when your father dies? Are you going to try to share your dad's beach house with your siblings? Buy them out? Sell them your share?

OP, you haven't answered. It's not $333K of cash sitting in a bank account. It's a place that can't be split easily three ways. It's clear that you think your sister is trying to steal it, which would be awful. But what's your dream scenario?

OP will want the house sold.

I don’t think so, OP mentioned that the family house is in a better location. I think the OP would sell their current beach house and buy out the sister and brother. That is why they don’t like the improvements in the sister’s style and the fact that the improvements would make the amount needed to buy their siblings out to be higher.

And perhaps OP is concerned b/c she originally bought beach house close to the dad so she could eventually take over family house? Now that sister is showing up regularly it's throwing a wrench in OP's plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been there done that in our extended family. In hindsight it would have been a far better strategy to sell the beach house you own OP. Explain it is due to financial hardships and go back to staying in your dad's house when you visit.

Your dad is going to be convinced by your sister that it would be so great if the sisters each have a house by the beach so they can stay close. So yours will be paid for by you, while your sister will inherit the beach house. Guarantee this will happen if you keep your house.

Yes.

And what nobody has mentioned yet on this post is that there is a certain ratio at play here. Old men and (not so old?) women. Your sister's presence may be helping everybody's inheritance a lot more than you realize. Do you really think Dad wants to do his own laundry and eat at the diner alone? That could be a $2M problem.

Your post is forcing me to disclose my sister is in fact a lazy slob. She is not his caretaker by any stretch. And another thing, she’s not there more than us, we actually have a home nearby. It’s just her visits are more frequent and now sometimes secretive. And again, her and BIL’s demeanor is that they own the joint. Even if the inheritance is split equally it’s bothersome that she and broke BIL think and act like they own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If anyone is trying to steal the inheritance it sounds like it’s OP. Takes one to know one.

+1 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Been there done that in our extended family. In hindsight it would have been a far better strategy to sell the beach house you own OP. Explain it is due to financial hardships and go back to staying in your dad's house when you visit.

Your dad is going to be convinced by your sister that it would be so great if the sisters each have a house by the beach so they can stay close. So yours will be paid for by you, while your sister will inherit the beach house. Guarantee this will happen if you keep your house.

Yes.

And what nobody has mentioned yet on this post is that there is a certain ratio at play here. Old men and (not so old?) women. Your sister's presence may be helping everybody's inheritance a lot more than you realize. Do you really think Dad wants to do his own laundry and eat at the diner alone? That could be a $2M problem.

Your post is forcing me to disclose my sister is in fact a lazy slob. She is not his caretaker by any stretch. And another thing, she’s not there more than us, we actually have a home nearby. It’s just her visits are more frequent and now sometimes secretive. And again, her and BIL’s demeanor is that they own the joint. Even if the inheritance is split equally it’s bothersome that she and broke BIL think and act like they own it.

So wait, she’s a lazy slob who is getting her act together enough to oversee renovations…hmm. Okay, Op.