Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

This thread is hilarious

Guys, I was banging my wife in the middle of a dinner party we were hosting, but one of our opiate addicts came upstairs and dug through our meds .... And he caught me mid thrust!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a guest in someone's home--for a brief viist or for an overnight stay--why, exactly, do you think you can go upstairs without being invited, or without being given express permission?

You've been welcomed into the "public spaces" like the living room, dining room, kitchen, and main powder rooms. If you are an overnight guest, you've been given your own room, bathroom, and a full living space. In my house, you literally have an entire floor of my home at your private disposal.

Why would you "need" to go upstairs, and why do you think you are welcome to do so?

And yeah, this goes for family, too. If the kids invite you to go upstairs to see their rooms, fine. But otherwise, there's nothing for you up there.

What are you hiding upstairs? Or is your poop really smelly and permeates the whole upper level and you are embarrassed??? Or do you have a multitude of vibrators upstairs that you use regularly? Just don’t get it. Why can’t your family come up? So strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a guest in someone's home--for a brief viist or for an overnight stay--why, exactly, do you think you can go upstairs without being invited, or without being given express permission?

You've been welcomed into the "public spaces" like the living room, dining room, kitchen, and main powder rooms. If you are an overnight guest, you've been given your own room, bathroom, and a full living space. In my house, you literally have an entire floor of my home at your private disposal.

Why would you "need" to go upstairs, and why do you think you are welcome to do so?

And yeah, this goes for family, too. If the kids invite you to go upstairs to see their rooms, fine. But otherwise, there's nothing for you up there.

What are you hiding upstairs? Or is your poop really smelly and permeates the whole upper level and you are embarrassed??? Or do you have a multitude of vibrators upstairs that you use regularly? Just don’t get it. Why can’t your family come up? So strange.

Maybe they haven't had time to clean up those rooms and make them guest ready? Why do you feel the need to go into your host's private space? That is the real question. Why do you feel entitled to be invited to hang out in their master bedroom/bath? Are you always this presumptuous?

[Anonymous]

My in-laws are like this. They shamelessly open every single cabinet and drawer when they come to our house. I really have nothing to hide but I like to have my privacy in my own home. I have come to accept that they can’t help themselves and I just lock our walk-in closet where I also store confidential stuff. We also have a visible camera to watch them rampaging through our master bedroom. We are tempted to install one in our bathroom ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a guest in someone's home--for a brief viist or for an overnight stay--why, exactly, do you think you can go upstairs without being invited, or without being given express permission?

You've been welcomed into the "public spaces" like the living room, dining room, kitchen, and main powder rooms. If you are an overnight guest, you've been given your own room, bathroom, and a full living space. In my house, you literally have an entire floor of my home at your private disposal.

Why would you "need" to go upstairs, and why do you think you are welcome to do so?

And yeah, this goes for family, too. If the kids invite you to go upstairs to see their rooms, fine. But otherwise, there's nothing for you up there.

What are you hiding upstairs? Or is your poop really smelly and permeates the whole upper level and you are embarrassed??? Or do you have a multitude of vibrators upstairs that you use regularly? Just don’t get it. Why can’t your family come up? So strange.

I am embarassed by exactly nothing upstairs at my house. But here's what: there is nothing up here for a guest. Master bedroom, master bathroom, linen closet, shared kids' bathroom, and two kids room. This is our private space. This is our sanctuary. We entertain and have overnight guests often; we share our home. This is OUR space.

Tell me, exactly, what you or any other guest "needs" or wants up here. Ten pages in, and not one single person can give one good reason.

-If you need something, like toiletries you forgot, ASK.
-If the bathroom is occupied downstairs, ask me quietly. I'll be just as discreet as you are, and of course.
-If you want to see the rest of our home...ask. A-S-K.

If one of the kids invites you up to see their room, by all means. If you need or want something and ask me, I'll say of course, go right ahead. If one of your children wanders off, let me know you're going to go get them, and then keep a better eye on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are like this. They shamelessly open every single cabinet and drawer when they come to our house. I really have nothing to hide but I like to have my privacy in my own home. I have come to accept that they can’t help themselves and I just lock our walk-in closet where I also store confidential stuff. We also have a visible camera to watch them rampaging through our master bedroom. We are tempted to install one in our bathroom ?

Hey, it's your choice. But yes, they CAN help themselves. But own the fact that this continues because you CHOOSE to allow this dynamic.

I would have exactly one conversation with them about respecting our privacy and boundaries. If they snooped again, hotel from here to eternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are like this. They shamelessly open every single cabinet and drawer when they come to our house. I really have nothing to hide but I like to have my privacy in my own home. I have come to accept that they can’t help themselves and I just lock our walk-in closet where I also store confidential stuff. We also have a visible camera to watch them rampaging through our master bedroom. We are tempted to install one in our bathroom ?

Hey, it's your choice. But yes, they CAN help themselves. But own the fact that this continues because you CHOOSE to allow this dynamic.

I would have exactly one conversation with them about respecting our privacy and boundaries. If they snooped again, hotel from here to eternity.

And they would go all pouty faced and act all traumatized "Is it o.k. for me to open the refrigerator?" "Is it o.k. for me to walk out into the garage?" "Can I open this drawer in the kitchen to get a fork?"....

People who snoop around like that and invade your privacy think that they are entitled to do so. They feel no shame and get downright offended if you object to their blatant intrusiveness.

"I was only going into your nightstand to straighten it up for you!" "I was in your master bedroom closet because I wanted to buy you a nice blouse and didn't know your size." "I was in your master bathroom because I needed an antacid and didn't want to bother you or make you feel bad about your cooking." Blah, blah, blah....

There are people who do this routinely and there are people who never would. You either are the type to do this or you aren't.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the 10 pages of this thread. My upstairs is off limits to party guests. Just NO. To "guests" like our parents or overnight guests, then yes, welcome.

Like wise I don't go to anyone's upstairs nor do I request "tours". I don't care to see anyone's private space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are like this. They shamelessly open every single cabinet and drawer when they come to our house. I really have nothing to hide but I like to have my privacy in my own home. I have come to accept that they can’t help themselves and I just lock our walk-in closet where I also store confidential stuff. We also have a visible camera to watch them rampaging through our master bedroom. We are tempted to install one in our bathroom ?

Hey, it's your choice. But yes, they CAN help themselves. But own the fact that this continues because you CHOOSE to allow this dynamic.

I would have exactly one conversation with them about respecting our privacy and boundaries. If they snooped again, hotel from here to eternity.

And they would go all pouty faced and act all traumatized "Is it o.k. for me to open the refrigerator?" "Is it o.k. for me to walk out into the garage?" "Can I open this drawer in the kitchen to get a fork?"....

People who snoop around like that and invade your privacy think that they are entitled to do so. They feel no shame and get downright offended if you object to their blatant intrusiveness.

"I was only going into your nightstand to straighten it up for you!" "I was in your master bedroom closet because I wanted to buy you a nice blouse and didn't know your size." "I was in your master bathroom because I needed an antacid and didn't want to bother you or make you feel bad about your cooking." Blah, blah, blah....

There are people who do this routinely and there are people who never would. You either are the type to do this or you aren't.

Right. They very well may act like that--they probably would. And? So?

Setting reasonable boundaries and enforcing them is my job. Whether people choose to act like wounded birds or spoiled children is not my concern. Why is it yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe in all these pages of comments nobody else seems to have mentioned this:

People are looking for prescription drugs. They will take a few, thinking you don't count pills and won't miss them.

Now, I am not one of those people. But I recently read that this is a thing, looking for other people's drugs in their medicine cabinets.

And I do know that once my adult cousin was visiting my mom and stole her prescription speed she took for her narcolepsy.

So yeah, I am pretty sure that's what is going on.

Yep! Have two former friends we had to hide meds from. My sister is still friends with one and just hides her meds when she comes over. Nuts. And sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are like this. They shamelessly open every single cabinet and drawer when they come to our house. I really have nothing to hide but I like to have my privacy in my own home. I have come to accept that they can’t help themselves and I just lock our walk-in closet where I also store confidential stuff. We also have a visible camera to watch them rampaging through our master bedroom. We are tempted to install one in our bathroom ?

Hey, it's your choice. But yes, they CAN help themselves. But own the fact that this continues because you CHOOSE to allow this dynamic.

I would have exactly one conversation with them about respecting our privacy and boundaries. If they snooped again, hotel from here to eternity.

And they would go all pouty faced and act all traumatized "Is it o.k. for me to open the refrigerator?" "Is it o.k. for me to walk out into the garage?" "Can I open this drawer in the kitchen to get a fork?"....

People who snoop around like that and invade your privacy think that they are entitled to do so. They feel no shame and get downright offended if you object to their blatant intrusiveness.

"I was only going into your nightstand to straighten it up for you!" "I was in your master bedroom closet because I wanted to buy you a nice blouse and didn't know your size." "I was in your master bathroom because I needed an antacid and didn't want to bother you or make you feel bad about your cooking." Blah, blah, blah....

There are people who do this routinely and there are people who never would. You either are the type to do this or you aren't.

Right. They very well may act like that--they probably would. And? So?

Setting reasonable boundaries and enforcing them is my job. Whether people choose to act like wounded birds or spoiled children is not my concern. Why is it yours?

The boundary is there. If they choose to intrude upon it then that is good enough reason to never invite them back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are like this. They shamelessly open every single cabinet and drawer when they come to our house. I really have nothing to hide but I like to have my privacy in my own home. I have come to accept that they can’t help themselves and I just lock our walk-in closet where I also store confidential stuff. We also have a visible camera to watch them rampaging through our master bedroom. We are tempted to install one in our bathroom ?

Hey, it's your choice. But yes, they CAN help themselves. But own the fact that this continues because you CHOOSE to allow this dynamic.

I would have exactly one conversation with them about respecting our privacy and boundaries. If they snooped again, hotel from here to eternity.

And they would go all pouty faced and act all traumatized "Is it o.k. for me to open the refrigerator?" "Is it o.k. for me to walk out into the garage?" "Can I open this drawer in the kitchen to get a fork?"....

People who snoop around like that and invade your privacy think that they are entitled to do so. They feel no shame and get downright offended if you object to their blatant intrusiveness.

"I was only going into your nightstand to straighten it up for you!" "I was in your master bedroom closet because I wanted to buy you a nice blouse and didn't know your size." "I was in your master bathroom because I needed an antacid and didn't want to bother you or make you feel bad about your cooking." Blah, blah, blah....

There are people who do this routinely and there are people who never would. You either are the type to do this or you aren't.

Right. They very well may act like that--they probably would. And? So?

Setting reasonable boundaries and enforcing them is my job. Whether people choose to act like wounded birds or spoiled children is not my concern. Why is it yours?

The boundary is there. If they choose to intrude upon it then that is good enough reason to never invite them back.

+1
The PP is nuts! Of course the boundary is already there. Gosh. Do you walk down the street testing door handles trying to get into peoples places to look around since if they haven’t locked you out then it’s not technically breaking and entering and so they haven’t set a boundary? Do you go rifling through friends’ tax and financial documents because you’re curious, and you think it’s fine as long as they don’t store it all in a locked safe??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws are like this. They shamelessly open every single cabinet and drawer when they come to our house. I really have nothing to hide but I like to have my privacy in my own home. I have come to accept that they can’t help themselves and I just lock our walk-in closet where I also store confidential stuff. We also have a visible camera to watch them rampaging through our master bedroom. We are tempted to install one in our bathroom ?

Hey, it's your choice. But yes, they CAN help themselves. But own the fact that this continues because you CHOOSE to allow this dynamic.

I would have exactly one conversation with them about respecting our privacy and boundaries. If they snooped again, hotel from here to eternity.

And they would go all pouty faced and act all traumatized "Is it o.k. for me to open the refrigerator?" "Is it o.k. for me to walk out into the garage?" "Can I open this drawer in the kitchen to get a fork?"....

People who snoop around like that and invade your privacy think that they are entitled to do so. They feel no shame and get downright offended if you object to their blatant intrusiveness.

"I was only going into your nightstand to straighten it up for you!" "I was in your master bedroom closet because I wanted to buy you a nice blouse and didn't know your size." "I was in your master bathroom because I needed an antacid and didn't want to bother you or make you feel bad about your cooking." Blah, blah, blah....

There are people who do this routinely and there are people who never would. You either are the type to do this or you aren't.

Right. They very well may act like that--they probably would. And? So?

Setting reasonable boundaries and enforcing them is my job. Whether people choose to act like wounded birds or spoiled children is not my concern. Why is it yours?

The boundary is there. If they choose to intrude upon it then that is good enough reason to never invite them back.

+1
The PP is nuts! Of course the boundary is already there. Gosh. Do you walk down the street testing door handles trying to get into peoples places to look around since if they haven’t locked you out then it’s not technically breaking and entering and so they haven’t set a boundary? Do you go rifling through friends’ tax and financial documents because you’re curious, and you think it’s fine as long as they don’t store it all in a locked safe??

No, dolts. You're missing the point.

Yes, the boundary is there. But if they don't respect the boundary, you don't throw up your hands and say, "Oh well, guess they just can't help themselves." You tell them to leave and go to a hotel and they are no longer welcome in your home until they can treat your home and your possessions with respect.

[Anonymous]

This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is very strange.

We usually give people “the tour” when they come over, if we know them well, and then they see upstairs is bedrooms / offices. When we have overnight guests, they stay upstairs and I want them to feel at home.

Never have I had a guest just wandering around in my house, and we have hosted lots of big get-togethers. Even my 6-yo nephew has the common sense to ask if he can go upstairs and watch TV in the den/office.

That said, there is some weird privacy defensiveness here as well. If someone goes into our bedrooms, they’d see: beds. There’s nothing truly private or sacred about that space.

If they wanted to dig around in our dressers to find dildos or bongs or whatever, that’s weird. But also very unlikely.

They go into your private bed/bath...why? What reason do they have to be there?

You do not owe anyone a tour of your private space. If you want to give a tour, fine. But a guest that takes it upon themselves to go into your bedroom for a look around is just being nosy. There really is no innocent explanation for it.

Maybe you don't want someone wandering in there to see your laundry basket full of dirty clothes or whatever. It's not a public space and it's not a space that guests should wander in and out of like it is a public space.