GF broke up with me because of money problems

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way I could read every prior post....but, earning $24K, and, having $8K of credit card debt....WHAT THE HECK DID SHE BUY??? Is she planning to have a huge jump in earnings in the near future?! If not, well, her only financial plan seems for her boyfriend to help her. The monthly interest on that card is probably close to $150 a month. What would $200 per month accomplish? Unless she looks like a cross between Charlize Theron and well, Charlize Theron, dude, you need to move on.

You should have read at least some of the posts. She's a grad student working as a TA, of course she is planning to have a huge jump in earnings in the near future. And the $200/month is to supplement the $550/month she's paying so she can pay it off before the 0% interest period ends.

[Anonymous]

This coupke is not a match financially wise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way I could read every prior post....but, earning $24K, and, having $8K of credit card debt....WHAT THE HECK DID SHE BUY??? Is she planning to have a huge jump in earnings in the near future?! If not, well, her only financial plan seems for her boyfriend to help her. The monthly interest on that card is probably close to $150 a month. What would $200 per month accomplish? Unless she looks like a cross between Charlize Theron and well, Charlize Theron, dude, you need to move on.

You should have read at least some of the posts. She's a grad student working as a TA, of course she is planning to have a huge jump in earnings in the near future. And the $200/month is to supplement the $550/month she's paying so she can pay it off before the 0% interest period ends.

Op here. Charlize Theron is not my type. She's manly looking and old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way I could read every prior post....but, earning $24K, and, having $8K of credit card debt....WHAT THE HECK DID SHE BUY??? Is she planning to have a huge jump in earnings in the near future?! If not, well, her only financial plan seems for her boyfriend to help her. The monthly interest on that card is probably close to $150 a month. What would $200 per month accomplish? Unless she looks like a cross between Charlize Theron and well, Charlize Theron, dude, you need to move on.

You should have read at least some of the posts. She's a grad student working as a TA, of course she is planning to have a huge jump in earnings in the near future. And the $200/month is to supplement the $550/month she's paying so she can pay it off before the 0% interest period ends.

Op here. Charlize Theron is not my type. She's manly looking and old. [/quote

Oh no you didn’t!!
You sound immature OP, I hope she dump you for good.

[Anonymous]

What bank extends 8K or more to someone with a 24k income? Be done with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Normally I would say asking for financial help in a relationship is a nono but you've been dating for 3 years. I'd you were thinking about marrying her you would have done it and if you weren't then she should have dumped you. 3years is sh$# or get off the pot time.

And your seeming complete lack of concern or empathy for her very limited salary makes it worse.

Bottom line if you're dating a graduate student enjoys making 24k a year and three years in they ask for some money for the first time they aren't a gold digger they justneed help. And if it was gonna be as forever relationship you would have wanted to give it.

This may be a crazy question but why didn’t she ask her family? They’ve known her all her life and if we are equating money with love, I assume they love her.

A lot of people don't like getting into money stuff with their parents and you have no idea what that dynamic is. And at that point you should be starting to think of yourselves as a team, if you aren't there is a problem. And clearly there was a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I’m hijackjng, but what do y’all say about this scenario:

I work myself and only make about $48k. My BF makes ~$350k. We’ve been dating for a year and just moved in together. Discuss marriage, future, etc. I am 31, he’s 33.

I have $13k in debt. Part consumer, part medical/ vet bills, part ‘I’m trying to start my own business and it had a very slow start so I needed to use CC’s for a while.
I don’t even touch the CC’s anymore. It’ll take me a very long time to pay off, with a lot in interest.

He has told me he will help me out if I need to/ if I ask. I haven’t, because I’m embarrassed.
Do you think it’s out of line for me to ask him to pay it off, and I’ll give him $1k a month, every month, to pay him back? It’s essentially what I would pay now, to pay it off, but It’ll save me a sh*tload in interest/ be done way sooner.

Should I even ask ?

When do you get a ring? Just moving on doesn’t make this arrangement permanent and he should only be paying off a spouse’s debt for the health of your collective financial picture.

My thoughts with this is he did offer, versus you asking and you do plan to pay it back. Did you save any money by moving in together and can that can go towards the debt? If you are really serious about paying him back, have some sort of direct deposit to his account for $1000 set up each month so he isn’t put in the awkward position of having to ask you for it or make a big deal about turning down the money. If he wants to use it for a really nice trip or something for the house that’s fine but you aren’t asking for a $13K gift and you are 100% able to pay it back with a solid plan to do so. I wouldn’t mind lending money if I could afford it under those circumstances - usually though it’s a thinly veiled way to ask for a monetary gift but make it seem better because you say it is a loan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Normally I would say asking for financial help in a relationship is a nono but you've been dating for 3 years. I'd you were thinking about marrying her you would have done it and if you weren't then she should have dumped you. 3years is sh$# or get off the pot time.

And your seeming complete lack of concern or empathy for her very limited salary makes it worse.

Bottom line if you're dating a graduate student enjoys making 24k a year and three years in they ask for some money for the first time they aren't a gold digger they justneed help. And if it was gonna be as forever relationship you would have wanted to give it.

This may be a crazy question but why didn’t she ask her family? They’ve known her all her life and if we are equating money with love, I assume they love her.

A lot of people don't like getting into money stuff with their parents and you have no idea what that dynamic is. And at that point you should be starting to think of yourselves as a team, if you aren't there is a problem. And clearly there was a problem.

But I would say the same reason you may not want to get into money stuff with your parent even if they are making 200K combined (it changes the dynamic, you aren’t as independent, etc) you wouldn’t so with a boyfriend. Three years in is too long to be just dating IMO unless you are teenagers or have some other compelling situation. So either the GF wasn’t decided if she wanted to get married or OP wasn’t 100% sure so if that’s the case, decide where the relationship is going first I.e. get engaged or break up, then then decide if it is team finances or not. Don’t go into team finances unsure if you will be together two years from now.

As much as people are giving the OP a hard time, the whole where is this relationship going could have been brought up by the ex-GF well in advance of asking to “borrow/be gifted” $2800 ($200/month for over a year) If things weren’t good before then why ask for the money? If he was really free to make a decision of no, don’t think this makes sense for x reason, why did she break up when he said he wanted to think about it? If feels sort of like if you don’t want give me money, no questions asked, I’m breaking up. I’m married and we do have different opinions on how to spend our money, should we do more loan, less down payment, what should we pay off first etc. I don’t ask to borrow money for, DH or vice versa but part of team finances means we discuss and don’t make unilateral decisions about money.

[Anonymous]

Op here: It's been over a month and she won't communicate with me. She deleted her email and won't respond to text messages or phone calls. I feel like crap.

[Anonymous]

I think you should consider yourself lucky that she showed her true colors before you married her or got her pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should consider yourself lucky that she showed her true colors before you married her or got her pregnant.

Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

It's not like she was asking you to pay off the bill yourself. She was asking for help. It was completely reasonable OP. Most likely she already has another boyfriend by now. A hot 24 year old doesn't stay single for long.

[Anonymous]

Omg. You make 90k and you won’t lend her $200? I’d leave you if I was her!

[Anonymous]

Good for her. She definitely has way better options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not like she was asking you to pay off the bill yourself. She was asking for help. It was completely reasonable OP. Most likely she already has another boyfriend by now. A hot 24 year old doesn't stay single for long.

I bet her new boyfriend is 50 plus and has already taken care of her money needs. Let’s face it, if you have to have sex with some guy make sure he will pay for everything you want. Men are disposable. I laugh at my friends who have had sons.