DH has directed us to shovel off the deck - AITA

[Anonymous]

I did post this at 11:20 am, but it's a long thread I know
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I asked if he would mind explaining why this is needed, he replied,
"I'd rather the deck not become an ice rink. It's about safety".

But... no one is using the deck because it's winter and cold and snowy. So whose safety?

Again, just getting to the grill only requires a small path.

[Anonymous]

Brushing off a car takes all of two minutes. As a courtesy, if you have the brush out to clear off your own car, I think it’s nice to clean off the other car(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont understand the big deal. You and daughter can go shovel at least half the deck, no? Why does there need to be a scientific reason to shovel the deck?

Agree.

Shovel off at least two feet adjacent the house.

Also, if wood rot is a risk and it’s shady, shovel off the whole thing. No treated or untreated wood needs a 2-4 days slow snow melt water bath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did post this at 11:20 am, but it's a long thread I know
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I asked if he would mind explaining why this is needed, he replied,
"I'd rather the deck not become an ice rink. It's about safety".

But... no one is using the deck because it's winter and cold and snowy. So whose safety?

Again, just getting to the grill only requires a small path.

Shovel a path to the grill if you think you'll use it in the next few days.

And reply you are not his shovel b1tch.

[Anonymous]

Is this typical OP? He gives orders to you like you are a child? I would be livid? I’m a woman and just shoveled the sidewalk because my DH was working. DH was mortified that I did that! He is cleaning off my car now. I can’t imagine any able bodied man telling a woman to go shovel snow. Seriously your Husband sounds like a world class ahole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did DH shovel anything - driveway, walkway etc before heading to the office? Shared chores? He did the driveway - you do the deck?

He parks in the driveway. I park on the street. He shoveled the driveway and the walkway to his car.
He cleaned off his car, not mine. Which is fine, I cleaned off my own car this morning. I won't need my car until I have to drive child to school, which is closed now.

This says a lot.

Why? OP doesnt need a car as both her and kid are off today. Why would you waste extra time in the morning, on your way to your office job, to brush off a car that isnt being used until later in the week?

Brushing off a car before the snow turns to ice makes a lot more sense than brushing off a deck before the snow turns to ice.

This. I really hope OP and dd just shoveled a path to the grill.

The more you do when he orders you to do it, the more he will expect OP. I would first start by telling him he is in charge of the dishwasher, and that if he has preferences, it is now his job to load all the dishes every single day.

He will continue to issue orders about how things should be done until you refuse to do them OP.

[Anonymous]

Shoveling the driveway or the front porch for safety reasons? Makes sense.

Shoveling a deck no one is using during frigid weather with only 5 inches or less of snow? Doesn't make sense, unless the deck is in such bad shape it's getting ready to collapse.

Shovel a path to the grill in case dh wants to grill when it's 28 degrees.

[Anonymous]

This is something my dad would do. I made sure I didn't marry someone like my dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again, I really don't mind cleaning off my car, doing laundry, doing dishes, etc. I would be happy if he would just leave me alone about this kind of trivia.

I would NEVER text him an assignment. I can't even imagine doing that unless it's to an assitant at work.

In an emergency I might say "would you mind picking up milk (for DD) on the way home?". I certainly don't complain about the way he does things and I don't make up random assignments for him.

Can you even imagine? "I'd like you to weed the cracks in the driveway today. It's going to rain all weekend and I'd like to kill them before they grow larger. Thx". Or whatever nonsense. It's absurd.

My guess is you actually DO do these things

[Anonymous]

OP, you have gotten a lot of good advice. What do you think will happen if neither you nor DD does anything re: the deck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did post this at 11:20 am, but it's a long thread I know
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I asked if he would mind explaining why this is needed, he replied,
"I'd rather the deck not become an ice rink. It's about safety".

But... no one is using the deck because it's winter and cold and snowy. So whose safety?

Again, just getting to the grill only requires a small path.

How frequently does he grill in the snow, OP? When was the last time he grilled?

Since he is concerned about safety and footing on the deck, why is he directing you and DD to needlessly go out there?

I can't imagine having sex with someone who treats me like he's the school principal and I'm risking detention.

[Anonymous]

I like to shovel (I’m female), but I would be irritated if my DH ordered me to shovel. He should have asked nicely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did post this at 11:20 am, but it's a long thread I know
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I asked if he would mind explaining why this is needed, he replied,
"I'd rather the deck not become an ice rink. It's about safety".

But... no one is using the deck because it's winter and cold and snowy. So whose safety?

Again, just getting to the grill only requires a small path.

You don't identify yourself as OP, that's why people think you're not responding. I noticed your replies but others who are skimming must have missed them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Brushing off a car takes all of two minutes. As a courtesy, if you have the brush out to clear off your own car, I think it’s nice to clean off the other car(s).

It took me a lot more than two minutes to brush off the roofs of the cars this AM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did DH shovel anything - driveway, walkway etc before heading to the office? Shared chores? He did the driveway - you do the deck?

He parks in the driveway. I park on the street. He shoveled the driveway and the walkway to his car.
He cleaned off his car, not mine. Which is fine, I cleaned off my own car this morning. I won't need my car until I have to drive child to school, which is closed now.

This says a lot.

Why? OP doesnt need a car as both her and kid are off today. Why would you waste extra time in the morning, on your way to your office job, to brush off a car that isnt being used until later in the week?

What if they get ill and have to rush out to go to urgent care? I thought DH was concerned about safety, safety, safety! That was the reason they need to shovel the deck that no one is walking on.

So you think, in addition to cleaning his car and the driveway, the DH should also clean OP's car(that she isn't planning to use) before he leaves for work? When she is home and can clean it herself, at her leisure? Gimme a break.