DH has directed us to shovel off the deck - AITA

[Anonymous]

My ex was very controlling and had weird issues about the dishwasher and laundry. I think he has OCD which made him excel at his job but was a micro manager at home. It's no way to live. I was walking on eggshells.

You don't know what it is like till you live it. I will never remarry because having a peaceful home is priceless to me.

[Anonymous]

I would not like him tasking me like I work for him. If he wanted to ask the teenager to do it, fine. But don’t tell me to tag team like she and I are both subservient to your orders.

I would just not do it. Or start sending him orders to complete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol! Love you delicate flowers that are DC women.

1. If you can’t shovel the deck without it being some kind of insurmountable burden, you’re paying too much for your gym membership.

2. This is why carbs are good.

Love when idiots from across the country comment on DC women. She shoveled it just fine. But that would require too much reading on your part. Her issue was never shoveling, it's the way her asshat husband demands things of her.

[Anonymous]

OP, what happened when you asked your husband why he wanted you to do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, what happened when you asked your husband why he wanted you to do that?

Asked and Answered. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH texted myself and 16 YO DD..."I'd like you two to tag team to get the snow off the deck. It's going to freeze tonight so I'd like that taken care of. Thx"

We got about 4 inches of snow. The deck is fairly large.
The deck is perfectly strong, no structural issues.
We are generally not using the deck, as, you know, it's winter.
He might use a small area of the deck near the house to grill IF the weather is nice, which at this time it is not. I could see clearning that off in case the weather gets nice enough to grill. But then, the snow would melt by itself.

DH has a history of being overly picky and controlling. Can't put jeans in the dryer because "too noisy". Gets upset if there are dishes in the sink, or you haven't loaded the dishwasher the way he wants. He will unpack it and reload it. We are not "allowed" to put small bowls on the top shelf, those must be placed on the bottom. We started using paper cups to reduce dishwasher complaints and now he complains about the paper cups taking up space in the trash. It's endless. I could go on and on.

This seems like an insane request to me. Who goes outside to move 1000 pounds of snow around a perfectly sound, unused structure if it's not necessary for some reason? What am I missing?

DCUM, AITA?

Is this a joke?

Pack the dishwasher correctly and it holds a ton and it all gets clean.

There IS a correct way to load a dishwasher. Learn it and do it. Then you won’t hear the damn reminder or complaint over and over.

You have the power!

There is no correct way to load the dishwasher.

Lol

Send in your pics! My spouses leaves some cups UP he’s so careless and sloppy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex was very controlling and had weird issues about the dishwasher and laundry. I think he has OCD which made him excel at his job but was a micro manager at home. It's no way to live. I was walking on eggshells.

You don't know what it is like till you live it. I will never remarry because having a peaceful home is priceless to me.

I can guarantee you he was a nightmare at his job too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is home, at work.

I asked if he would mind explaining why this is needed, he replied,
"I'd rather the deck not become an ice rink. It's about safety".

But... no one is using the deck because it's winter and cold and snowy. So whose safety?

Again, just getting to the grill only requires a small path.

Wait, he works from home and you work from home and he wants YOU to clear the snow?

Honestly, this is the least of your concerns. The other stuff says he's a nightmare. I'd tell him to do it himself, although I also probably would have left after the dishwasher nonsense.

I bet in reality he isn't at home and has to handle commuting and now OP is just making things up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex was very controlling and had weird issues about the dishwasher and laundry. I think he has OCD which made him excel at his job but was a micro manager at home. It's no way to live. I was walking on eggshells.

You don't know what it is like till you live it. I will never remarry because having a peaceful home is priceless to me.

I can guarantee you he was a nightmare at his job too.

+1 prob the type to email and text coworkers all day, night, weekend and vacation. Undercommunicates and then blames others for everything. Denies not planning things out well.

But now senior enough that the jr staff, assistant and other sr members constantly fix things or pick up the slack. never having time to think that their sr co-worker is actually a big liability and incompetent at basic stuff! And brilliant at spewing out ideas but no clue how to get from A to Z sensibly. FW and back, FW and back it is….

[Anonymous]

He’s the A-hole

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he physically disabled? That is a man's job.

No, he is strong. Much, much stronger than I am.

What kind was man asks a 16 year old girl and middle aged woman that do that. What a jerk.

I’m a single woman with two 16 year old daughters, and I asked them to shovel our driveway after our neighbor kindly shoveled the sidewalk in front of our house. What’s wrong with teenagers shoveling? They don’t tend to hurt their backs or have heart attacks while shoveling.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe I am reading this. Just shovel it.
It is not that much snow. It is not heavy. I was shoveling a foot of snow by age 12… an entire long driveway! As an adult I had to shovel the driveway while toddlers were asleep with 6-8 inches several times a week when husband was on work travel.

You are lazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he physically disabled? That is a man's job.

No, he is strong. Much, much stronger than I am.

What kind was man asks a 16 year old girl and middle aged woman that do that. What a jerk.

Are you serious!?? Omg. -46 your old woman. This not a big ask. I did this much younger than 16!

[Anonymous]

DH does our long driveway with a snow blower. 11 year old DS and I are in charge of deck and stairs. DH definitely has the worst end of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe I am reading this. Just shovel it.
It is not that much snow. It is not heavy. I was shoveling a foot of snow by age 12… an entire long driveway! As an adult I had to shovel the driveway while toddlers were asleep with 6-8 inches several times a week when husband was on work travel.

You are lazy!

Please explain why anyone needs to shovel a deck that NO ONE is using. It’s not a pathway anywhere. It’s just a deck. Why does it have to be shoveled?