I don’t understand how people claim the affair partner is blameless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

What about the cases where the husband ends up with the OW?

And sometimes, it's a better relationship. One of my older relatives got involved with a married man who did divorce his wife, and they've been married more than 50 years now, very happily.

How lovely! And the only parties who had to get hurt were the hapless spouse(a) and potentials children. Always worth it for true wuv!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

What about the cases where the husband ends up with the OW?

And sometimes, it's a better relationship. One of my older relatives got involved with a married man who did divorce his wife, and they've been married more than 50 years now, very happily.

How lovely! And the only parties who had to get hurt were the hapless spouse(a) and potentials children. Always worth it for true wuv!!

Hapless spouse(s) and potentially children. Stupid autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

What about the cases where the husband ends up with the OW?

And sometimes, it's a better relationship. One of my older relatives got involved with a married man who did divorce his wife, and they've been married more than 50 years now, very happily.

How lovely! And the only parties who had to get hurt were the hapless spouse(a) and potentials children. Always worth it for true wuv!!

Why would you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be with you anymore? Why don't you believe that you deserve better? And just because he wasn't the right person for you doesn't mean that he isn't the right person for someone else.

People age and change and relationships run their course. There is no good excuse for lying and cheating, but okay, the relationship ended and just get on with your new life already. Find someone to be with who doesn't cheat on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

What about the cases where the husband ends up with the OW?

And sometimes, it's a better relationship. One of my older relatives got involved with a married man who did divorce his wife, and they've been married more than 50 years now, very happily.

How lovely! And the only parties who had to get hurt were the hapless spouse(a) and potentials children. Always worth it for true wuv!!

Why would you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be with you anymore? Why don't you believe that you deserve better? And just because he wasn't the right person for you doesn't mean that he isn't the right person for someone else.

People age and change and relationships run their course. There is no good excuse for lying and cheating, but okay, the relationship ended and just get on with your new life already. Find someone to be with who doesn't cheat on you.

Why would somebody want to be with someone who is married to someone else, sleeping next to them every night and still having sex with their spouse? Or even more simple- why would anyone want to date a cheater? At least the spouse doesn’t know they are married to a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

What about the cases where the husband ends up with the OW?

Few and far between. That’s a 2% chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

Because they live with the spouse and do their laundry and pay their bills and sleep with them. That’s not “seething with rage”. That’s “blaming the party who it doesn’t inconvenience me to blame”.

And that’s the real reason the OW gets blamed. It doesn’t require introspection from the spouse. It doesn’t require real contrition or change from the adulterer. They get to pretend the affair (affairs) were something that happened to them, rather than something that was done by them.

First, wtf are you talking about? Of course they aren’t spending a lifetime seething with rage. That is at discovery/first months/year stuff. And, no, most aren’t doing anything for them when they found out and many have their own jobs and aren’t waiting hand and foot. The majority of times the guy is begging to let them stay, not divorce them and doing everything possible to make amends.

It’s done narrative OW like to spin. They just don’t matter. Period. People move on. They don’t look back. She’s not worth a breath or thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

What about the cases where the husband ends up with the OW?

Few and far between. That’s a 2% chance.

I know of plenty. I also wonder how many I know who are with their AP but nobody knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Watched the Fatal Attraction reboot on Showtime this weekend. A buzz kill for any of this type of behavior.

The OW is batsh@t crazy as a jilted lover. Buyer beware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

What about the cases where the husband ends up with the OW?

Few and far between. That’s a 2% chance.

I know of plenty. I also wonder how many I know who are with their AP but nobody knows.

How many 2nd and third+ marriages do you know? Christ.

No divorces around here or in family lines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

Because they live with the spouse and do their laundry and pay their bills and sleep with them. That’s not “seething with rage”. That’s “blaming the party who it doesn’t inconvenience me to blame”.

And that’s the real reason the OW gets blamed. It doesn’t require introspection from the spouse. It doesn’t require real contrition or change from the adulterer. They get to pretend the affair (affairs) were something that happened to them, rather than something that was done by them.

First, wtf are you talking about? Of course they aren’t spending a lifetime seething with rage. That is at discovery/first months/year stuff. And, no, most aren’t doing anything for them when they found out and many have their own jobs and aren’t waiting hand and foot. The majority of times the guy is begging to let them stay, not divorce them and doing everything possible to make amends.

It’s done narrative OW like to spin. They just don’t matter. Period. People move on. They don’t look back. She’s not worth a breath or thought.

I don’t know any OW. But there’s a ton of women on here absolutely fixated on the OW. They start threads about it constantly.

As for the “guy begging to let them stay” the go on to cheat again so why do we actually take that seriously?

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP above and I realized that’s not true, I do know the OW from the class. But she was herself single and certainly wasn’t trying to keep the man in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

Because they live with the spouse and do their laundry and pay their bills and sleep with them. That’s not “seething with rage”. That’s “blaming the party who it doesn’t inconvenience me to blame”.

And that’s the real reason the OW gets blamed. It doesn’t require introspection from the spouse. It doesn’t require real contrition or change from the adulterer. They get to pretend the affair (affairs) were something that happened to them, rather than something that was done by them.

Have you been a betrayed spouse or cheating spouse?

[Anonymous]

People with no character or morals will almost always rationalize their behavior. It's been happening since the beginning of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

Because they live with the spouse and do their laundry and pay their bills and sleep with them. That’s not “seething with rage”. That’s “blaming the party who it doesn’t inconvenience me to blame”.

And that’s the real reason the OW gets blamed. It doesn’t require introspection from the spouse. It doesn’t require real contrition or change from the adulterer. They get to pretend the affair (affairs) were something that happened to them, rather than something that was done by them.

Have you been a betrayed spouse or cheating spouse?

No but I watch it here— look how many BW threads are about how they’re so mad at the AP but “working on it” with their spouse— look up the “demanding intimacy” thread or the recent one about contacting the AP.

Meanwhile in real life the (female) cheater I know now blames her AP— who she pursued. The BW of the man who said he was in an open marriage wanted the OWs kid literally excluded from birthdays all because the AP did exactly what she did and believed the cheating partner’s lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My question is, when it’s a serial adulterer, is the betrayed spouse equally mad at each successive AP or does it finally become the cheating spouses fault then?

My question is why anyone thinks a betrayed spouse is not seething with rage and absolutely pissed at their spouse when they find out. The narrative some OW are trying to keep going “the woes me- why am I getting all the blame” blah blah crap almost seems like a severe need to stay relevant in the drama they crave and in AP’s life. I can tell you in the vast majority of cases nobody is thinking of you much after or even gives two sh@ts about you. You just aren’t relevant.

Because they live with the spouse and do their laundry and pay their bills and sleep with them. That’s not “seething with rage”. That’s “blaming the party who it doesn’t inconvenience me to blame”.

And that’s the real reason the OW gets blamed. It doesn’t require introspection from the spouse. It doesn’t require real contrition or change from the adulterer. They get to pretend the affair (affairs) were something that happened to them, rather than something that was done by them.

Have you been a betrayed spouse or cheating spouse?

No but I watch it here— look how many BW threads are about how they’re so mad at the AP but “working on it” with their spouse— look up the “demanding intimacy” thread or the recent one about contacting the AP.

Meanwhile in real life the (female) cheater I know now blames her AP— who she pursued. The BW of the man who said he was in an open marriage wanted the OWs kid literally excluded from birthdays all because the AP did exactly what she did and believed the cheating partner’s lies.

The thing about this place is that it's all anonymous and from what I gather, a lot of people start multiple threads. You may be basing your "research" on the postings of a very few, "special" individuals.

I have been a BW. I have life experience that you don't. I also know that the multitudes of my feelings and experiences can't be expressed in 100 words or less.