I guess this is a completely fictitious situation where you are my child’s co-worker! In this situation, by putting their pronouns in the email signature, people would know that my child was Sarah who uses they/them pronouns, and would use their preferred pronouns when writing and speaking. You are correct that my kid doesn’t want their pronouns front and center (which is why I don’t agree that people should be forced to share if they don’t want to) nor do they want to be addressed by the wrong ones. If pronouns could be avoided altogether that would be great for my child. Can’t speak for everyone though. |
What if I work in a male-dominated environment traditionally hostile to women? I don’t want pronouns in my email because I don’t want she/her to change the dynamics of the discussion. I don’t want to make your child uncomfortable but I also really don’t want to be othered more than I already am. |
I work with a non-binary colleague—they shortened their feminine name to something more ambiguous and I can probably count on my hand the number of times I’ve had to ever use a pronoun to refer to them. Because I don’t gossip about people at work! Keeping other people’s names/pronouns out of your mouth is just professionalism—which is lacking in too many places and is more of an issue than gender misidentification. |
Yes, the discussion around pronouns comes out of a place of male privilege. It is the expectation of people who don’t understand women’s experiences in the workplace. |
I guess what really upsets me is that if DON’T put my pronouns in my email signature (or on my resume!) it’s seen as a micro-aggression, when it’s just self preservation.
Hate all of this a lot. I shouldn’t be expected to put myself on the front lines of the culture wars in my email. I do that every time I step into a room of men I need to win over. The nice thing about written correspondence is that it’s neutral ground. |
If you are asking my opinion...I think you should do what is best for you in this situation. It sucks that there are male-dominated environments that are hostile to women. I can't imagine that an environment that is hostile to women would be welcoming to those who are non-binary! I hope my child has the privilege to avoid those fields. I appreciate that the whole discussion is nuanced. Somebody upthread wanted to understand how putting pronouns next to a generally female name would make a difference, so I tried to explain based on my observations of my child's experience. |
You’d be wrong about non-binary people being less welcome than women. Typically the non-binary people I know present more male, definitely not feminine. |
I did not know that. As I said previously I sincerely hope my child doesn't end up in a mysogynistic work environment, but I can assure you that if they did, they would not be further contributing to the hostile environment. |
Hun—every field is hostile to women. |
I'm not going to do it and I never will do it. I think it's dumb, you can tell what my pronouns are from my name. |
Maybe we should all wear uniforms so we don’t offend the bad dressers or the people that can’t afford fancy clothes! |
Why should I have to identify my gender at work? Haven't we worked hard to be able to be seen as equals regardless of gender. This seems like an incredibly big step back. |
This |
Did their neuropsych test turn anything up? Don’t skip that part for affirmative therapy, hormones, binding, and surgery. |
Good point. Like all those psychology studies where they force a range of students to first write their age, sex, race, etc. on top of their test. Then take the test. So they implicitly remembered their place in society whilst taking the test. |