Sharing pronouns at work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

Your child is going to have a very challenging life. I doubt you’ve done anything to prepare them. You continue to helicopter and now are even dictating that people use their pronouns to benefit your child. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

In my experience transgender folks aren't shy and a lot of it is about getting attention and being special. They don't need my pronouns to feel comfortable sharing.

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing. Agree with previous that sometimes being misgendered as a man (I'm a woman) can work out in my favor, but that doesn't make it right to not to try to foster an environment where sharing pronouns is the norm.

It does if sharing your gender is more likely to hurt you professionally. I have zero guilt about not indentifying myself as a woman in every email I send and if I am pushed on it I will sue my employers.

Good point.

Like all those psychology studies where they force a range of students to first write their age, sex, race, etc. on top of their test. Then take the test. So they implicitly remembered their place in society whilst taking the test.

Actually, like all the studies that show women are less likely to be selected for interviews if they have obviously feminine names on their resumes. It astounds me that this pronoun thing is being pushed so hard.

[Anonymous]

My gender or pronouns have nothing to do with my work ethic or quality of work I produce. I'm another woman in a STEM field, and it wouldn't bother me if people assumed I was a man.

I recently sat through college orientation where every single student leader and staff speaker introduced themselves with pronouns. Huge virtue signaling and huge waste of time since we then did not interact with 80% of the students or speakers face-to-face AND the pronouns were on each name tag. We had zero need to refer to these folks by their pronouns. Just dumb.

[Anonymous]

Also, when someone uses he/them or she/they or whatever, us old GenX'ers get very confused and distracted googling to figure out how to even refer to that person respectfully. How the hell are we supposed to know whether they want to be a he or a they that day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't forcing people to do this also be a micro-aggression?

I will never understand this sort of thing. Many of us don't even use email signature files at work.

Following standards is not a micro-aggression.

Thank you.

It actually is when you are forcing me to either out myself or misgender myself. I have zero interest in sharing my pronouns at work. Noone needs to know I'm a "they."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should I have to identify my gender at work? Haven't we worked hard to be able to be seen as equals regardless of gender. This seems like an incredibly big step back.

It is. This pronoun nonsense is almost entirely "trans women" continuing with the pay attention to me thing that got them through high school. Professionals have been pretty accomadating but the blowback is here. It's stupid. Always has been. And it's really regressive.

[Anonymous]

I used (It/Its) and I don’t think my management saw the humor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

How are pronouns any more relevant to L, G, and B people than they are to straight people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have mine listed in my email signature, though they are on my business cards. (I should have them in my signature; I just keep forgetting.) It’s important for cisgender people to proactively give their pronouns so that trans people aren’t the only ones giving theirs. If it becomes normalized to share pronouns proactively, then trans people who aren’t totally comfortable telling everyone they’re trans (which is reasonable, given the state of trans rights) will be able to let everyone know their pronouns without having to go out of their way or be singled out.

I strongly want us to develop a new, singular, gender neutral set of personal pronouns.

I’m a straight cis married woman.

I strongly support LGBTQI+ rights, but I’m utterly horrified by even having a gender at work, let alone people at working thinking about who I do it with. And I don’t want to present as nonbinary, or pretend that “they” is singular. I want to have a genuine singular pronoun that shows I’m noneofyourbeeswaxinary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have mine listed in my email signature, though they are on my business cards. (I should have them in my signature; I just keep forgetting.) It’s important for cisgender people to proactively give their pronouns so that trans people aren’t the only ones giving theirs. If it becomes normalized to share pronouns proactively, then trans people who aren’t totally comfortable telling everyone they’re trans (which is reasonable, given the state of trans rights) will be able to let everyone know their pronouns without having to go out of their way or be singled out.

I strongly want us to develop a new, singular, gender neutral set of personal pronouns.

I’m a straight cis married woman.

I strongly support LGBTQI+ rights, but I’m utterly horrified by even having a gender at work, let alone people at working thinking about who I do it with. And I don’t want to present as nonbinary, or pretend that “they” is singular. I want to have a genuine singular pronoun that shows I’m noneofyourbeeswaxinary.

This already exists

“It”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

In my experience transgender folks aren't shy and a lot of it is about getting attention and being special. They don't need my pronouns to feel comfortable sharing.

Pray tell how much experience do you have with “transgender folks?”

It’s so incredibly rare it would amaze me if you had interactions with more than one or two, if that. Which is hardly a representative sample on which to make such a broad generalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is NOT a small gesture for women to include their gender in their email signatures PP. Every heard of the glass ceiling?

Good lord.

Yes, the discussion around pronouns comes out of a place of male privilege. It is the expectation of people who don’t understand women’s experiences in the workplace.

But the recommendation to do so is almost exclusively coming from women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't forcing people to do this also be a micro-aggression?

I will never understand this sort of thing. Many of us don't even use email signature files at work.

Following standards is not a micro-aggression.

Thank you.

It actually is when you are forcing me to either out myself or misgender myself. I have zero interest in sharing my pronouns at work. Noone needs to know I'm a "they."

The thing is, none of these people actually care about you and how forcing you to gender yourself in every email may make you feel. They enjoy the performance and drama of it all. They’re not doing it for you, they’re doing it for them. For some reason, it makes them feel better about themselves.

I’m one of the posters who is often misgendered because I have an androgynous name. I would never correct someone who is assuming I’m a white male at work, for obvious reasons, but I also am not going to blast my politics all over my signature block, for even more obvious reasons. Whether we like it or not, conservative males are provided endless privelege and respect. Why would I deny myself that same privilege on the occasion it’s provided to me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

In my experience transgender folks aren't shy and a lot of it is about getting attention and being special. They don't need my pronouns to feel comfortable sharing.

Pray tell how much experience do you have with “transgender folks?”

It’s so incredibly rare it would amaze me if you had interactions with more than one or two, if that. Which is hardly a representative sample on which to make such a broad generalization.

I’m not the PP, but it doesn’t really seem all that rare these days. Off the top of my head, my husband has two trans coworkers, I used to have one, my daughter has one for a teacher, my neighbor’s adult child, several teenage friends of my daughter…

[Anonymous]

What company requires pronouns? I work for a F200 and very few people use pronouns. Even in the DC office.

From what I can tell it's mostly HR and some marketing people who use pronouns.

I see it as extremely political and virtue signaling. It has never been about being "kind" and accommodating.