Sharing pronouns at work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't forcing people to do this also be a micro-aggression?

In what way?

Imagine you feel like your assigned gender doesn't quite fit, but you aren't yet sure whether you're a genderqueer man/woman, nonbinary, trans, or what. You're experimenting with different pronouns in your personal life but are not ready to commit to one set and come out at work. Should you be forced to come out, or commit to the "old" pronouns that feel wrong until you're more confident in a new choice? Does that policy feel supportive to you?

People are writing emails. What pronouns shall they use to refer to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Serious I don’t GAF that you are LBGTQ … please tell me the gender of
Xiratoe
Punyask
Chiangois
Lireoibgro

I’m writing an email I don’t know your gender. If you’re cool with being “they” then leave it out. If you want to be referred to by your gender please let me know what it is.

I have a gender-ambiguous foreign name. Why do you need to know my gender to write me an email? We use all first names at my company and in external emails as well (I'm a lawyer at a F500 so we are pretty buttoned up but no one is saying Mr or Ms). And you wouldn't be referring to someone in the third person in an email to them, right?

This is separate from trans inclusiveness but it's always brought up and annoys me.

[Anonymous]

I am in a leadership role at my company, and I don't list my pronouns. I am OK if people just refer to me as "they."

For the type of training that OP is mentioning, is that truly endorsed at the top levels of the company (requiring everyone to use pronouns)? Or do the senior leaders just figure that this is something they need to do to protect themselves from litigation and/or losing millenials or Gen Z employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is not stating pronouns all of the sudden a problem? If yours are nonobvious, state them.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Serious I don’t GAF that you are LBGTQ … please tell me the gender of
Xiratoe
Punyask
Chiangois
Lireoibgro

I’m writing an email I don’t know your gender. If you’re cool with being “they” then leave it out. If you want to be referred to by your gender please let me know what it is.

I have a gender-ambiguous foreign name. Why do you need to know my gender to write me an email? We use all first names at my company and in external emails as well (I'm a lawyer at a F500 so we are pretty buttoned up but no one is saying Mr or Ms). And you wouldn't be referring to someone in the third person in an email to them, right?

This is separate from trans inclusiveness but it's always brought up and annoys me.

Ciroeak needs access to building 20. Please update her/his/their badge to give her/him/them access.

The server is down. Byhresdy has responded to the emergency. Call her/him/them for testing,

I am more than happy to use they/their/them.

[Anonymous]

Just call people by their names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is not stating pronouns all of the sudden a problem? If yours are nonobvious, state them.

As PPs said, it’s about making it less awkward for people who have nonobvious ones.

There are also people who are not comfortable changing them yet and feel forced to either out themselves or share pronouns they don’t like.

The way to make people feel supported is to SUPPORT THEM. Make a caring inclusive environment for people. Forced pronoun sharing doesn’t make people more supportive. In fact, it just pisses them off and causes more problems.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know that but needs to be required, seems like a good thing to update voluntarily though. It costs me nothing. And I realize ho fortunate that is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Why doesn’t it make you mad? The point is to do one small thing that can help make other people’s lives easier. Is it really that difficult to edit your email signature?

In real life, this has zero impact. It’s woke virtue signaling that I will not support.

What is “woke virtue signaling” in your view?

Leadership demanding that everyone share their pronouns so they can feel better about themselves.

Not sure I understand. PPs have explained how this helps people. Why are you opposed?

Because the people who write things like this assume to know what helps people.

I’m Jewish and I don’t expect people to write #fightantisemitism on their signature so I know they don’t hate me before they know my religion. I choose to just respect people and use the pronouns they prefer. I don’t feel I need to share mine. My name is an obvious female name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just call people by their names.

Chicuil is traveling next week. Please help chicuil update chicuil’s travel card. Chicuil’s travel card stopped working when chicuil was traveling last month. Please contact Chicuil at chicuil’s mobile phone because Chicuil will not have access to chicuil’s computer until Chicuil arrives at the hotel.

Great solution! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Serious I don’t GAF that you are LBGTQ … please tell me the gender of
Xiratoe
Punyask
Chiangois
Lireoibgro

I’m writing an email I don’t know your gender. If you’re cool with being “they” then leave it out. If you want to be referred to by your gender please let me know what it is.

I have a gender-ambiguous foreign name. Why do you need to know my gender to write me an email? We use all first names at my company and in external emails as well (I'm a lawyer at a F500 so we are pretty buttoned up but no one is saying Mr or Ms). And you wouldn't be referring to someone in the third person in an email to them, right?

This is separate from trans inclusiveness but it's always brought up and annoys me.

Ciroeak needs access to building 20. Please update her/his/their badge to give her/him/them access.

The server is down. Byhresdy has responded to the emergency. Call her/him/them for testing,

I am more than happy to use they/their/them.

I am a woman with a foreign name where the gender is not obvious. Sometimes I like it when people who have not met me do not know that I am a woman. I believe I am taken more seriously when strangers I am corresponding with via email think I am a man (I work in the tech industry). I don't always want to announce my gender in my signature to avoid anti-woman bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Why doesn’t it make you mad? The point is to do one small thing that can help make other people’s lives easier. Is it really that difficult to edit your email signature?

In real life, this has zero impact. It’s woke virtue signaling that I will not support.

What is “woke virtue signaling” in your view?

Leadership demanding that everyone share their pronouns so they can feel better about themselves.

Not sure I understand. PPs have explained how this helps people. Why are you opposed?

Because the people who write things like this assume to know what helps people.

I’m Jewish and I don’t expect people to write #fightantisemitism on their signature so I know they don’t hate me before they know my religion. I choose to just respect people and use the pronouns they prefer. I don’t feel I need to share mine. My name is an obvious female name.

Obvious to whom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just call people by their names.

Chicuil is traveling next week. Please help chicuil update chicuil’s travel card. Chicuil’s travel card stopped working when chicuil was traveling last month. Please contact Chicuil at chicuil’s mobile phone because Chicuil will not have access to chicuil’s computer until Chicuil arrives at the hotel.

Great solution! Thanks!

Chicuil is sharing a room with Bruce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have mine listed in my email signature, though they are on my business cards. (I should have them in my signature; I just keep forgetting.) It’s important for cisgender people to proactively give their pronouns so that trans people aren’t the only ones giving theirs. If it becomes normalized to share pronouns proactively, then trans people who aren’t totally comfortable telling everyone they’re trans (which is reasonable, given the state of trans rights) will be able to let everyone know their pronouns without having to go out of their way or be singled out.

How does sharing pronouns tell someone you are trans? That makes no sense. Anyone who is trans should not feel like they have to announce that they are trans. It's not (generally speaking) material to their work. At least not in my office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Why doesn’t it make you mad? The point is to do one small thing that can help make other people’s lives easier. Is it really that difficult to edit your email signature?

In real life, this has zero impact. It’s woke virtue signaling that I will not support.

What is “woke virtue signaling” in your view?

Leadership demanding that everyone share their pronouns so they can feel better about themselves.

Not sure I understand. PPs have explained how this helps people. Why are you opposed?

Because the people who write things like this assume to know what helps people.

I’m Jewish and I don’t expect people to write #fightantisemitism on their signature so I know they don’t hate me before they know my religion. I choose to just respect people and use the pronouns they prefer. I don’t feel I need to share mine. My name is an obvious female name.

Uh hunh. My husband has a name that 90% of people mistakenly assume is female. Nope. He just tends to write Mr. XYZ on his signature block.