Sharing pronouns at work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

In my experience transgender folks aren't shy and a lot of it is about getting attention and being special. They don't need my pronouns to feel comfortable sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t share mine. I have an ambiguous name and I like that my gender is not a consideration when communicating. I hate this stupidity. Sorry.

Same I go by R Smith.

On my CV too.

- bio female

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

In my experience transgender folks aren't shy and a lot of it is about getting attention and being special. They don't need my pronouns to feel comfortable sharing.

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing. Agree with previous that sometimes being misgendered as a man (I'm a woman) can work out in my favor, but that doesn't make it right to not to try to foster an environment where sharing pronouns is the norm.

[Anonymous]

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

[Anonymous]

I am female and when I was a young teen I was sometimes mistaken for a boy. If someone called me a boy, I just corrected them, it was no big deal and certainly not something I needed, e.g., my whole class at school to start giving their pronouns to avoid or to make me feel better.

People are very wrapped up in their special snowflake-ness these days, it seems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am female and when I was a young teen I was sometimes mistaken for a boy. If someone called me a boy, I just corrected them, it was no big deal and certainly not something I needed, e.g., my whole class at school to start giving their pronouns to avoid or to make me feel better.

People are very wrapped up in their special snowflake-ness these days, it seems.

Narcissism of youth which is now being reinforced by adults and administrators of all stripes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Why doesn’t it make you mad? The point is to do one small thing that can help make other people’s lives easier. Is it really that difficult to edit your email signature?

In real life, this has zero impact. It’s woke virtue signaling that I will not support.

What is “woke virtue signaling” in your view?

Leadership demanding that everyone share their pronouns so they can feel better about themselves.

Not sure I understand. PPs have explained how this helps people. Why are you opposed?

Because the people who write things like this assume to know what helps people.

I’m Jewish and I don’t expect people to write #fightantisemitism on their signature so I know they don’t hate me before they know my religion. I choose to just respect people and use the pronouns they prefer. I don’t feel I need to share mine. My name is an obvious female name.

Obvious to whom?

Not the PP but I'm assuming it's obvious to anyone who still chooses to use common sense.

I will support and use proper terminology for anyone who chooses to include that in the email or in conversation. I'm not against it at all.

I will not be forced into this virtue-signaling BS for myself. I am a woman, no one is confused about that. They do not need me to announce it intentionally in emails or verbally. Why would someone named Sarah who obviously is a woman, dresses like one, and sounds like one need to include she/her/hers??

It's stupid and pointless. But again, ask me to refer to you as anything you wish and I'll respect that and do it gladly.

It’s clear you just have WASP friends/coworker because even sarah is not obviously female to people from other countries.

PP you're responding to and I am an immigrant who moved to the US when I was 20, so....

Being an immigrant doesn't preclude being WASP.

All WASPs are immigrants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

I am not the PP but how does identifying myself as a woman help your daughter? I actually need someone to explain this to me. If I hear anyone referring to me by a pronoun it’s a sign of disrespect. Pronouns are not used in the presence you the person. None of this makes sense to me. If your child is non binary, then they should consider changing her name to something less typically feminine if it bothers them. Putting a pronoun identifier on your email signature draws attention to your gender, and in many cases that is a problem for professional women. I won’t do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a cis white female and list my pronouns in my email signature. My LGBTQAI colleagues appreciate it and it’s easy enough for me to do. I work in healthcare and when we share our pronouns, it gives pts permission to share theirs.

In my experience transgender folks aren't shy and a lot of it is about getting attention and being special. They don't need my pronouns to feel comfortable sharing.

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing. Agree with previous that sometimes being misgendered as a man (I'm a woman) can work out in my favor, but that doesn't make it right to not to try to foster an environment where sharing pronouns is the norm.

It does if sharing your gender is more likely to hurt you professionally. I have zero guilt about not indentifying myself as a woman in every email I send and if I am pushed on it I will sue my employers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am female and when I was a young teen I was sometimes mistaken for a boy. If someone called me a boy, I just corrected them, it was no big deal and certainly not something I needed, e.g., my whole class at school to start giving their pronouns to avoid or to make me feel better.

People are very wrapped up in their special snowflake-ness these days, it seems.

I have a friend that has the same ideas you have. So for a month when we went out I referred to him as her. For months. This is my friend Joe, she and I went to college together. She works in New York. She takes the Acela weekly. She is really good golfer. She is actually.

It was funny actually, as Joe met new people they started referring to Joe as she. We are in a golfing club together, after about a month I had 10 people referring to Joe as she.

Joe finally admitted "she" did not like being misgendered.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

I am not the PP but how does identifying myself as a woman help your daughter? I actually need someone to explain this to me. If I hear anyone referring to me by a pronoun it’s a sign of disrespect. Pronouns are not used in the presence you the person. None of this makes sense to me. If your child is non binary, then they should consider changing her name to something less typically feminine if it bothers them. Putting a pronoun identifier on your email signature draws attention to your gender, and in many cases that is a problem for professional women. I won’t do it!

I totally understand if you don’t want to do it—I disagree with policies that force people to share pronouns. For my child, when other people sign their messages Sarah (she/her), my child feels more comfortable signing their emails Sarah (they/them). Maybe it would make it easier on others if my child changed their name to Jade or Lark, but they like their current name. Anyway, you are free to do as you wish. I just wanted to explain what impact your sharing pronouns would have on my non-binary child, who could be your future co-worker. While it’s obvious that most Sarahs use (she/her) pronouns, it makes it feel less scary for my kid to write Sarah (they/them) if others are also sign with pronouns. Yes, my kid has lots of insecurities and is struggling with a lot. It’s not your responsibility to help them, but the small gesture goes a long way toward helping them feel accepted.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am queer and will never “proactively” share my pronouns. I’m a woman. It’s obvious. This is such virtue signaling bs I can’t even. This makes me so mad.

Why doesn’t it make you mad? The point is to do one small thing that can help make other people’s lives easier. Is it really that difficult to edit your email signature?

In real life, this has zero impact. It’s woke virtue signaling that I will not support.

What is “woke virtue signaling” in your view?

Leadership demanding that everyone share their pronouns so they can feel better about themselves.

Not sure I understand. PPs have explained how this helps people. Why are you opposed?

Because the people who write things like this assume to know what helps people.

I’m Jewish and I don’t expect people to write #fightantisemitism on their signature so I know they don’t hate me before they know my religion. I choose to just respect people and use the pronouns they prefer. I don’t feel I need to share mine. My name is an obvious female name.

Obvious to whom?

Not the PP but I'm assuming it's obvious to anyone who still chooses to use common sense.

I will support and use proper terminology for anyone who chooses to include that in the email or in conversation. I'm not against it at all.

I will not be forced into this virtue-signaling BS for myself. I am a woman, no one is confused about that. They do not need me to announce it intentionally in emails or verbally. Why would someone named Sarah who obviously is a woman, dresses like one, and sounds like one need to include she/her/hers??

It's stupid and pointless. But again, ask me to refer to you as anything you wish and I'll respect that and do it gladly.

It’s clear you just have WASP friends/coworker because even sarah is not obviously female to people from other countries.

PP you're responding to and I am an immigrant who moved to the US when I was 20, so....

Being an immigrant doesn't preclude being WASP.

All WASPs are immigrants

Lol. So my family who got here in the 1600s makes me an immigrant? But your arbitrary cut off is somewhere after native Americans immigrated here. Got it. Makes total sense. No obvious agenda at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In my experience not everybody fits a stereotype. In my opinion, instead of applying them to women, men, or nonbinary, it's a better practice to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.

But, until/unless someone can provide a science-based explanation of how wanting to be something is the same as being that thing, many of us are likely to find this entire excercise pointless and stupid. Especially when we are more interested in getting actual work done than in making friends and saving the world.

I’m not sure what to say. I’m the parent of a teen who uses they pronouns. Being misgendered contributes to their feeling suicidal. We are doing everything we can to improve their mental health but in the meantime if you were their co-worker I’d be highly grateful if you shared your pronouns to make things easier for them. It’s not your responsibility, and I don’t think anybody should force you to do so, but they would appreciate it, and it would go a long way in creating an environment where they felt accepted. My child is highly anxious, shy, and has a name that is generally assumed to use she/her pronouns like Sarah.

I am not the PP but how does identifying myself as a woman help your daughter? I actually need someone to explain this to me. If I hear anyone referring to me by a pronoun it’s a sign of disrespect. Pronouns are not used in the presence you the person. None of this makes sense to me. If your child is non binary, then they should consider changing her name to something less typically feminine if it bothers them. Putting a pronoun identifier on your email signature draws attention to your gender, and in many cases that is a problem for professional women. I won’t do it!

I totally understand if you don’t want to do it—I disagree with policies that force people to share pronouns. For my child, when other people sign their messages Sarah (she/her), my child feels more comfortable signing their emails Sarah (they/them). Maybe it would make it easier on others if my child changed their name to Jade or Lark, but they like their current name. Anyway, you are free to do as you wish. I just wanted to explain what impact your sharing pronouns would have on my non-binary child, who could be your future co-worker. While it’s obvious that most Sarahs use (she/her) pronouns, it makes it feel less scary for my kid to write Sarah (they/them) if others are also sign with pronouns. Yes, my kid has lots of insecurities and is struggling with a lot. It’s not your responsibility to help them, but the small gesture goes a long way toward helping them feel accepted.

But why even put pronouns in your email address at all? Your child sounds like they don’t want their gender discussed. Best way to do that is not put it front and center. But—how would anyone even hear what pronouns people are using to talk about them anyway! The last time I saw someone refer to me as she, it was an email forwarded to me for situational awareness and I was honestly offended that the person didn’t refer to me with my name. They used she and her several times, as if to underline my gender to my superior. It was gross. People shouldn’t be using pronouns at work much—unless they’re saying things they shouldn’t about a colleague’s work. Work emails are typically about work, not people.

[Anonymous]

It is NOT a small gesture for women to include their gender in their email signatures PP. Every heard of the glass ceiling?

Good lord.