What are the best years to stay at home (SAHM)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

My dentist closes at 4:30, so yeah. I literally don’t know anyone who stays home to “drive to activities.” The women I know who stay home with teens do so because they don’t want to work and no other reason. They don’t make up dumb excuses no one believes. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the norm for families to have two working parents, even in wealthy enclaves, more families are like this than not. It has been my experience even as a SAHM and then a PT working mom, that the (public) schools where we are know this and plan accordingly. School activities in MS and HS are either after school and don’t need pickup until typical work hours end, or there is an activity bus, or the practices/games don’t even begin until the evening. I agree teens need active involved and caring parents but the times that my teens need me are not during normal working hours, unless they are sick and of course I have leave for that. If you have more kids than you have drivers and they are all busy and can’t carpool, that’s a separate issue and has nothing to do with working or not.

Pp with kid starting high school. I was surprised fall sports start in late July when there are no buses.

I actually just told Dh that maybe our son should not play this sport and Dh said our kid is a talented athlete and he should play. He does not think or care about the logistics of getting our kid to summer practice. Not his problem. It is my problem.

Well if he doesn’t support your working, that is a separate relationship issue that has nothing to do with the original question about logistics.

I don’t know if it makes a difference but he earns a seven figure income. I would probably earn 100-150k if I’m lucky. He would earn 20x what I earn. This is not what the thread is about. I would like to go back to work whether I earn 50k or 200k. Even if I earned 300-400k, it would make no difference in our lifestyle financially, which is why I have not gone back to work.

As others have said 0-5 or 0-7 is ideal. Moms often have multiple kids so you would have to go back to work when one kid is 2 or 3.

Can't you just hire a nanny (or several) instead of worrying about ubers and other transportation logistics?

Is there a PP who is saying she can't figure out how to get her son to sports practices in late July because there are no buses and her husband makes seven figures? God help us all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

Idk what makes them vape and experiment, as it's completely not relatable to me as a kid, but I doubt its because parents wouldn't or couldn't shuttle them to 100 different activities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

PP was saying if you work your kids will be vaping. The two are not related. GMAFB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most parents underestimate how much care, guidance and supervision teens need.

They actually don’t need that much compared to younger children. It’s just that over parenting has become the norm now, to the detriment of the well being of teenagers and the process of trying to become independent adults one day.

There is a post today on this forum from someone who wants to know if their 14 year old can take Uber. Think about that. A parent wanting to put their underage child in a car with a stranger so the stranger can drive off with them.

That was my post. I am a SAHM of 3 kids wanting to go back to work. While it is somewhat easier to put my younger kids in all day camp, my future freshman in high school will need a ride to fall sports that starts in late July. I don’t know what time these sports will be but I know it is not all day and definitely won’t line up with my future potential work schedule.

My youngest is 6 and oldest is 14. I will have 3 kids in elementary, middle and high school this fall. Right now I am childfree 9-2.

My husband has a very demanding and also high paying career. I would like to go back to work and I feel if I don’t go back now, I will never go back.

Good for you. There’s never a great time to go back to work and if you want to do so then you have to make it happen. Not having a job because of an extracurricular activity is nuts and that’s why you’re looking for a solution like Uber. Can you imagine a conversation 20 years from now where your child asks why you didn’t work and your response is “because you had soccer every Monday”?

HS sports on never just on Monday. It will be 5 days per week at minimum.

The point went over your head. Whether it’s 1 day or 7 days doesn’t matter. Do you really want to not have a job because of your child’s sport that they will likely never plan again after HS? Are there men out there saying they can’t hold a job because their child plays a HS sport? I highly doubt it.

It didn't go over my head.
And actually, yeah...I am fine with not having a job so my kids can participate in and enjoy sports, music, and other activities.
There are people with different priorities than you. if you really "doubt" that, you should expand your horizons a bit.

You don’t have to be unemployed for your kids to do these things. You just need someone to drive your kids there.

It’s fine to just say you don’t want to have a job. That actually makes sense.

No, PP doesn’t want a job badly enough that she wants somebody else to drive around her kids.

I don’t understand why people twist themselves in knots to prove that somebody doesn’t mean what they said.

Tons of us work and drive our kids ourselves. She just uses that as an excuse not to work rather than just saying she doesn’t want to work and I guess her husband is fine with it. But I hate when those types butt into these conversations and try to make it sound like working is “impossible” for them.

It's a message board.
On a thread about SAHM's and their experience.
In what way is a SAHM giving her perspective "butting in?"

It’s a thread about a SAHM who wants to do it for a finite period of time. These women are popping to say they have never worked and never will. Their opinion is not really relevant here. Also, after school driving is not in conflict with working (as many of us have attested) so their point is also not rational.

I have not seen the bolded written in this thread at all. Can you please help me find it? Thanks!

And I would say that someone who has been a SAHM of all ages actually has the MOST relevant opinion for the question posed.
You really think that if someone says, "which is best: A, B, or C?" that the person who has only experienced "A" but not B or C has the most relevant opinion? Please explain that logic.

After school driving might not be in conflict with YOUR job, or the jobs of many posters here. It WOULD be in conflict with a parent who works 12 hour shifts as a police officer, or 24 hour shifts as a paramedic, or 6 month deployments as a military member.
It can also be a conflic for people that work in hospitals, in the entertainment industry, in schools, and many other places. You have a very limited world view if you truly believe that everyone else's experience is exactly like yours.

NP. I'm not going back through multiple pages for you but it's definitely there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

My dentist closes at 4:30, so yeah. I literally don’t know anyone who stays home to “drive to activities.” The women I know who stay home with teens do so because they don’t want to work and no other reason. They don’t make up dumb excuses no one believes. But you do you.

So who is picking up your dentist's kid when band rehersal ends at 3:30, the way my kid's does?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

DP - actually, in-demand healthcare professionals often have a lot of control over their schedules. The friends I have who are pediatricians, psychologists, and yes, dentists, etc., set their own hours. Is that true of transplant surgeons? No. But that’s not what this thread is about, is it? You’re arguing that those of us who work FT smugly think we “have it all” but most of us have made decisions along the way that afford us the flexibility we have. I don’t earn seven figures, as PP’s husband does. I’m happy with my decisions.

As to substance use, that’s absolutely a concern for tweens/teens. But again, prevention of those things means having honest conversations with kids, being aware of where they are and whom they’re with, and other things that parents who work FT can do. Different people have different capacities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

My dentist closes at 4:30, so yeah. I literally don’t know anyone who stays home to “drive to activities.” The women I know who stay home with teens do so because they don’t want to work and no other reason. They don’t make up dumb excuses no one believes. But you do you.

So who is picking up your dentist's kid when band rehersal ends at 3:30, the way my kid's does?

Their spouse? The activity bus? A carpool? Lots of options. Not everyone has no friends and an absentee spouse. Use some imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most parents underestimate how much care, guidance and supervision teens need.

They actually don’t need that much compared to younger children. It’s just that over parenting has become the norm now, to the detriment of the well being of teenagers and the process of trying to become independent adults one day.

There is a post today on this forum from someone who wants to know if their 14 year old can take Uber. Think about that. A parent wanting to put their underage child in a car with a stranger so the stranger can drive off with them.

That was my post. I am a SAHM of 3 kids wanting to go back to work. While it is somewhat easier to put my younger kids in all day camp, my future freshman in high school will need a ride to fall sports that starts in late July. I don’t know what time these sports will be but I know it is not all day and definitely won’t line up with my future potential work schedule.

My youngest is 6 and oldest is 14. I will have 3 kids in elementary, middle and high school this fall. Right now I am childfree 9-2.

My husband has a very demanding and also high paying career. I would like to go back to work and I feel if I don’t go back now, I will never go back.

Good for you. There’s never a great time to go back to work and if you want to do so then you have to make it happen. Not having a job because of an extracurricular activity is nuts and that’s why you’re looking for a solution like Uber. Can you imagine a conversation 20 years from now where your child asks why you didn’t work and your response is “because you had soccer every Monday”?

HS sports on never just on Monday. It will be 5 days per week at minimum.

The point went over your head. Whether it’s 1 day or 7 days doesn’t matter. Do you really want to not have a job because of your child’s sport that they will likely never plan again after HS? Are there men out there saying they can’t hold a job because their child plays a HS sport? I highly doubt it.

It didn't go over my head.
And actually, yeah...I am fine with not having a job so my kids can participate in and enjoy sports, music, and other activities.
There are people with different priorities than you. if you really "doubt" that, you should expand your horizons a bit.

You don’t have to be unemployed for your kids to do these things. You just need someone to drive your kids there.

It’s fine to just say you don’t want to have a job. That actually makes sense.

No, PP doesn’t want a job badly enough that she wants somebody else to drive around her kids.

I don’t understand why people twist themselves in knots to prove that somebody doesn’t mean what they said.

Tons of us work and drive our kids ourselves. She just uses that as an excuse not to work rather than just saying she doesn’t want to work and I guess her husband is fine with it. But I hate when those types butt into these conversations and try to make it sound like working is “impossible” for them.

It's a message board.
On a thread about SAHM's and their experience.
In what way is a SAHM giving her perspective "butting in?"

It’s a thread about a SAHM who wants to do it for a finite period of time. These women are popping to say they have never worked and never will. Their opinion is not really relevant here. Also, after school driving is not in conflict with working (as many of us have attested) so their point is also not rational.

I have not seen the bolded written in this thread at all. Can you please help me find it? Thanks!

And I would say that someone who has been a SAHM of all ages actually has the MOST relevant opinion for the question posed.
You really think that if someone says, "which is best: A, B, or C?" that the person who has only experienced "A" but not B or C has the most relevant opinion? Please explain that logic.

After school driving might not be in conflict with YOUR job, or the jobs of many posters here. It WOULD be in conflict with a parent who works 12 hour shifts as a police officer, or 24 hour shifts as a paramedic, or 6 month deployments as a military member.
It can also be a conflic for people that work in hospitals, in the entertainment industry, in schools, and many other places. You have a very limited world view if you truly believe that everyone else's experience is exactly like yours.

NP. I'm not going back through multiple pages for you but it's definitely there.

It's not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

My dentist closes at 4:30, so yeah. I literally don’t know anyone who stays home to “drive to activities.” The women I know who stay home with teens do so because they don’t want to work and no other reason. They don’t make up dumb excuses no one believes. But you do you.

So who is picking up your dentist's kid when band rehersal ends at 3:30, the way my kid's does?

Their spouse? The activity bus? A carpool? Lots of options. Not everyone has no friends and an absentee spouse. Use some imagination.

Doesn't the spouse have to work? What activity bus? Not all schools have an activity bus.
Carpool? Don't THOSE people work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most parents underestimate how much care, guidance and supervision teens need.

They actually don’t need that much compared to younger children. It’s just that over parenting has become the norm now, to the detriment of the well being of teenagers and the process of trying to become independent adults one day.

There is a post today on this forum from someone who wants to know if their 14 year old can take Uber. Think about that. A parent wanting to put their underage child in a car with a stranger so the stranger can drive off with them.

That was my post. I am a SAHM of 3 kids wanting to go back to work. While it is somewhat easier to put my younger kids in all day camp, my future freshman in high school will need a ride to fall sports that starts in late July. I don’t know what time these sports will be but I know it is not all day and definitely won’t line up with my future potential work schedule.

My youngest is 6 and oldest is 14. I will have 3 kids in elementary, middle and high school this fall. Right now I am childfree 9-2.

My husband has a very demanding and also high paying career. I would like to go back to work and I feel if I don’t go back now, I will never go back.

Good for you. There’s never a great time to go back to work and if you want to do so then you have to make it happen. Not having a job because of an extracurricular activity is nuts and that’s why you’re looking for a solution like Uber. Can you imagine a conversation 20 years from now where your child asks why you didn’t work and your response is “because you had soccer every Monday”?

HS sports on never just on Monday. It will be 5 days per week at minimum.

The point went over your head. Whether it’s 1 day or 7 days doesn’t matter. Do you really want to not have a job because of your child’s sport that they will likely never plan again after HS? Are there men out there saying they can’t hold a job because their child plays a HS sport? I highly doubt it.

It didn't go over my head.
And actually, yeah...I am fine with not having a job so my kids can participate in and enjoy sports, music, and other activities.
There are people with different priorities than you. if you really "doubt" that, you should expand your horizons a bit.

You don’t have to be unemployed for your kids to do these things. You just need someone to drive your kids there.

It’s fine to just say you don’t want to have a job. That actually makes sense.

No, PP doesn’t want a job badly enough that she wants somebody else to drive around her kids.

I don’t understand why people twist themselves in knots to prove that somebody doesn’t mean what they said.

Tons of us work and drive our kids ourselves. She just uses that as an excuse not to work rather than just saying she doesn’t want to work and I guess her husband is fine with it. But I hate when those types butt into these conversations and try to make it sound like working is “impossible” for them.

It's a message board.
On a thread about SAHM's and their experience.
In what way is a SAHM giving her perspective "butting in?"

It’s a thread about a SAHM who wants to do it for a finite period of time. These women are popping to say they have never worked and never will. Their opinion is not really relevant here. Also, after school driving is not in conflict with working (as many of us have attested) so their point is also not rational.

I have not seen the bolded written in this thread at all. Can you please help me find it? Thanks!

And I would say that someone who has been a SAHM of all ages actually has the MOST relevant opinion for the question posed.
You really think that if someone says, "which is best: A, B, or C?" that the person who has only experienced "A" but not B or C has the most relevant opinion? Please explain that logic.

After school driving might not be in conflict with YOUR job, or the jobs of many posters here. It WOULD be in conflict with a parent who works 12 hour shifts as a police officer, or 24 hour shifts as a paramedic, or 6 month deployments as a military member.
It can also be a conflic for people that work in hospitals, in the entertainment industry, in schools, and many other places. You have a very limited world view if you truly believe that everyone else's experience is exactly like yours.

NP. I'm not going back through multiple pages for you but it's definitely there.

It's not

DP here. It is. Several posters said “well I’ve always stayed at home but…”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

My dentist closes at 4:30, so yeah. I literally don’t know anyone who stays home to “drive to activities.” The women I know who stay home with teens do so because they don’t want to work and no other reason. They don’t make up dumb excuses no one believes. But you do you.

So who is picking up your dentist's kid when band rehersal ends at 3:30, the way my kid's does?

Their spouse? The activity bus? A carpool? Lots of options. Not everyone has no friends and an absentee spouse. Use some imagination.

Doesn't the spouse have to work? What activity bus? Not all schools have an activity bus.
Carpool? Don't THOSE people work?

Lots and lots and lots of people can do a school run in the middle of a work day. You really don’t know ANY? Almost every family I know can do this. I’m an ES teacher and my work day ends at 2:45. Again, use your brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most parents underestimate how much care, guidance and supervision teens need.

They actually don’t need that much compared to younger children. It’s just that over parenting has become the norm now, to the detriment of the well being of teenagers and the process of trying to become independent adults one day.

There is a post today on this forum from someone who wants to know if their 14 year old can take Uber. Think about that. A parent wanting to put their underage child in a car with a stranger so the stranger can drive off with them.

That was my post. I am a SAHM of 3 kids wanting to go back to work. While it is somewhat easier to put my younger kids in all day camp, my future freshman in high school will need a ride to fall sports that starts in late July. I don’t know what time these sports will be but I know it is not all day and definitely won’t line up with my future potential work schedule.

My youngest is 6 and oldest is 14. I will have 3 kids in elementary, middle and high school this fall. Right now I am childfree 9-2.

My husband has a very demanding and also high paying career. I would like to go back to work and I feel if I don’t go back now, I will never go back.

Good for you. There’s never a great time to go back to work and if you want to do so then you have to make it happen. Not having a job because of an extracurricular activity is nuts and that’s why you’re looking for a solution like Uber. Can you imagine a conversation 20 years from now where your child asks why you didn’t work and your response is “because you had soccer every Monday”?

HS sports on never just on Monday. It will be 5 days per week at minimum.

The point went over your head. Whether it’s 1 day or 7 days doesn’t matter. Do you really want to not have a job because of your child’s sport that they will likely never plan again after HS? Are there men out there saying they can’t hold a job because their child plays a HS sport? I highly doubt it.

It didn't go over my head.
And actually, yeah...I am fine with not having a job so my kids can participate in and enjoy sports, music, and other activities.
There are people with different priorities than you. if you really "doubt" that, you should expand your horizons a bit.

You don’t have to be unemployed for your kids to do these things. You just need someone to drive your kids there.

It’s fine to just say you don’t want to have a job. That actually makes sense.

No, PP doesn’t want a job badly enough that she wants somebody else to drive around her kids.

I don’t understand why people twist themselves in knots to prove that somebody doesn’t mean what they said.

Tons of us work and drive our kids ourselves. She just uses that as an excuse not to work rather than just saying she doesn’t want to work and I guess her husband is fine with it. But I hate when those types butt into these conversations and try to make it sound like working is “impossible” for them.

It's a message board.
On a thread about SAHM's and their experience.
In what way is a SAHM giving her perspective "butting in?"

It’s a thread about a SAHM who wants to do it for a finite period of time. These women are popping to say they have never worked and never will. Their opinion is not really relevant here. Also, after school driving is not in conflict with working (as many of us have attested) so their point is also not rational.

I have not seen the bolded written in this thread at all. Can you please help me find it? Thanks!

And I would say that someone who has been a SAHM of all ages actually has the MOST relevant opinion for the question posed.
You really think that if someone says, "which is best: A, B, or C?" that the person who has only experienced "A" but not B or C has the most relevant opinion? Please explain that logic.

After school driving might not be in conflict with YOUR job, or the jobs of many posters here. It WOULD be in conflict with a parent who works 12 hour shifts as a police officer, or 24 hour shifts as a paramedic, or 6 month deployments as a military member.
It can also be a conflic for people that work in hospitals, in the entertainment industry, in schools, and many other places. You have a very limited world view if you truly believe that everyone else's experience is exactly like yours.

NP. I'm not going back through multiple pages for you but it's definitely there.

It's not

DP here. It is. Several posters said “well I’ve always stayed at home but…”

That's not the same as " they have never worked and never will."
Not one single person on this thread has said they have never worked and never will.

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Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

My dentist closes at 4:30, so yeah. I literally don’t know anyone who stays home to “drive to activities.” The women I know who stay home with teens do so because they don’t want to work and no other reason. They don’t make up dumb excuses no one believes. But you do you.

So who is picking up your dentist's kid when band rehersal ends at 3:30, the way my kid's does?

Their spouse? The activity bus? A carpool? Lots of options. Not everyone has no friends and an absentee spouse. Use some imagination.

Doesn't the spouse have to work? What activity bus? Not all schools have an activity bus.
Carpool? Don't THOSE people work?

Lots and lots and lots of people can do a school run in the middle of a work day. You really don’t know ANY? Almost every family I know can do this. I’m an ES teacher and my work day ends at 2:45. Again, use your brain.

You are a teacher? I weep for our youth. Use YOUR brain teacher! Not every school gets out at 2:45.

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Anonymous wrote:Pp again. I’m not sure if it is a strategy but I think busy kids tend to stay out of trouble. My kids play sports, play an instrument, we travel, I help organize social gatherings since none of my kids can drive.

Starting in middle school, kids get into trouble with vaping and drugs. I don’t want my kids to do drugs as their extracurricular activities.

That's very, very sad. All I wanted to do at those ages was run around with my neighborhood friends and be a kid. I don't think busy equals better behaved. I'd kids want to do drugs/drink they will no matter what. Also, busy kids don't learn how to entertain themselves without causing trouble or excessive screen time.

So what does lead to vaping and drug use with teens? I think back to OP’s question, there could be an argument that being home during the middle school years would allow you to be more involved and have more knowledge as to what they are doing and curb the drug use if it starts.

But that’s what we are saying and you are not hearing. I am home when my kids are home. And I work. And same with all my friends. My husband works too and he’s home most days too. We are on it, don’t you worry.

You are the one that is not hearing. That's great for you and your friends, but not every profession/industry can accommodate being at home "most days." Some jobs require you to choose between working and being at home in time to do all the driving.
Would you go to a dentist that had to leave mid filling to drive her kid to soccer practice?

My dentist closes at 4:30, so yeah. I literally don’t know anyone who stays home to “drive to activities.” The women I know who stay home with teens do so because they don’t want to work and no other reason. They don’t make up dumb excuses no one believes. But you do you.

So who is picking up your dentist's kid when band rehersal ends at 3:30, the way my kid's does?

Their spouse? The activity bus? A carpool? Lots of options. Not everyone has no friends and an absentee spouse. Use some imagination.

Doesn't the spouse have to work? What activity bus? Not all schools have an activity bus.
Carpool? Don't THOSE people work?

Lots and lots and lots of people can do a school run in the middle of a work day. You really don’t know ANY? Almost every family I know can do this. I’m an ES teacher and my work day ends at 2:45. Again, use your brain.

You are a teacher? I weep for our youth. Use YOUR brain teacher! Not every school gets out at 2:45.

DP - come on. This problem is solvable. I get that you want to throw out every hypothetical and tell us how we must not actually doing it, we must be failing our kids, but we’re not. It actually is possible to work FT and support your kids and be a good parent. If someone chooses not to work, super. Have at it. But stop cutting down those of us who do.