To tired of smug moms-of-3-under 35

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are still pretty young OP, they will be much less smug at 45.

Yep, probably fat and divorced too, or unhappily married.

Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s funny because there are several reports out regarding population and the under 40 population or having fewer kids in ever in recorded history. It’s usually only in low income areas that you find multiple children or even any children under 30 or even 35. If they I have three children and are under 35 and are smug, they have a rude awakening as they continue to age.

It's a status symbol in this area. They send all of their kids to expensive privates. Far from low income.

All families with three kids in DC send their kids to privates?

Where are these ridiculous stereotypes coming from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from generation X where we were told that we could have it all. Just having kids is half of the equation and therefore nothing to be smug about. Anyone can reproduce and it’s nothing to be proud of. Juggling 3 kids and an amazing career is another story.

Having children is a major lifetime goal for most people. I'm not saying all -- but most. So having them is an achievement. it's something you've thought about your entire life -- since you were a kid yourself. Of course it's something to feel good about having accomplished. If you don't feel that way, why did you even have children? This is the part I don't understand. Women don't have to have kids now -- why do it if you don't want them that badly?

I’m the PP. I have two children whom I love dearly, but I don’t consider having them as an accomplishment on my part. Getting my PhD was an accomplishment for me not bearing children. Even though I love them more than anything else in my life.

This is odd to me. I don't think people really mean that getting pregnant and birthing a child is a major accomplishment. But creating a loving, stable, and enriching home for your children and taking steps so they flourish at different stages of life of course is. Not just anyone -- and most don't -- accomplish that.

I personally only have two kids, and I had the second at 37. I work full time and have a flourishing career that I'm proud of; I'm also proud of the home life I've created and the way in which I'm raising my children. They are absolutely both accomplishments.

Anyways, 10 pages later, I really think the PP who said that OP is confusing happiness for smugness nailed it.

I agree with this but I also think a lot of women view just having kids as a personal accomplishment on their life bucket list. Along with getting married, going to a top university, getting a big career, owing a nice home, etc.

This is not some life bucket list. This is life. You grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a condo/townhouse, have a few kids, send kids to college, retire…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from generation X where we were told that we could have it all. Just having kids is half of the equation and therefore nothing to be smug about. Anyone can reproduce and it’s nothing to be proud of. Juggling 3 kids and an amazing career is another story.

Having children is a major lifetime goal for most people. I'm not saying all -- but most. So having them is an achievement. it's something you've thought about your entire life -- since you were a kid yourself. Of course it's something to feel good about having accomplished. If you don't feel that way, why did you even have children? This is the part I don't understand. Women don't have to have kids now -- why do it if you don't want them that badly?

I’m the PP. I have two children whom I love dearly, but I don’t consider having them as an accomplishment on my part. Getting my PhD was an accomplishment for me not bearing children. Even though I love them more than anything else in my life.

This is odd to me. I don't think people really mean that getting pregnant and birthing a child is a major accomplishment. But creating a loving, stable, and enriching home for your children and taking steps so they flourish at different stages of life of course is. Not just anyone -- and most don't -- accomplish that.

I personally only have two kids, and I had the second at 37. I work full time and have a flourishing career that I'm proud of; I'm also proud of the home life I've created and the way in which I'm raising my children. They are absolutely both accomplishments.

Anyways, 10 pages later, I really think the PP who said that OP is confusing happiness for smugness nailed it.

I agree with this but I also think a lot of women view just having kids as a personal accomplishment on their life bucket list. Along with getting married, going to a top university, getting a big career, owing a nice home, etc.

This is not some life bucket list. This is life. You grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a condo/townhouse, have a few kids, send kids to college, retire…

Yes, sweetie but not everyone gets to go to college. Not everyone gets to buy a house. Not everyone is able to have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from generation X where we were told that we could have it all. Just having kids is half of the equation and therefore nothing to be smug about. Anyone can reproduce and it’s nothing to be proud of. Juggling 3 kids and an amazing career is another story.

Having children is a major lifetime goal for most people. I'm not saying all -- but most. So having them is an achievement. it's something you've thought about your entire life -- since you were a kid yourself. Of course it's something to feel good about having accomplished. If you don't feel that way, why did you even have children? This is the part I don't understand. Women don't have to have kids now -- why do it if you don't want them that badly?

I’m the PP. I have two children whom I love dearly, but I don’t consider having them as an accomplishment on my part. Getting my PhD was an accomplishment for me not bearing children. Even though I love them more than anything else in my life.

This is odd to me. I don't think people really mean that getting pregnant and birthing a child is a major accomplishment. But creating a loving, stable, and enriching home for your children and taking steps so they flourish at different stages of life of course is. Not just anyone -- and most don't -- accomplish that.

I personally only have two kids, and I had the second at 37. I work full time and have a flourishing career that I'm proud of; I'm also proud of the home life I've created and the way in which I'm raising my children. They are absolutely both accomplishments.

Anyways, 10 pages later, I really think the PP who said that OP is confusing happiness for smugness nailed it.

I agree with this but I also think a lot of women view just having kids as a personal accomplishment on their life bucket list. Along with getting married, going to a top university, getting a big career, owing a nice home, etc.

This is not some life bucket list. This is life. You grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a condo/townhouse, have a few kids, send kids to college, retire…

Yes, sweetie but not everyone gets to go to college. Not everyone gets to buy a house. Not everyone is able to have children.

That is fine. You made it seem like it is such checklist to check off.

Dh actually says all the good girls are always taken. The ones left are the ones no one wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are still pretty young OP, they will be much less smug at 45.

Yep, probably fat and divorced too, or unhappily married.

I think this thread is in the running for most miserable posters. You ladies really hate life, huh?

[Anonymous]

There is the 80-20 rule. 80% of women want the top 20% of men and 80% of men want the top 20% of women. Perhaps the top 20% are considered smug. They had their pick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is the 80-20 rule. 80% of women want the top 20% of men and 80% of men want the top 20% of women. Perhaps the top 20% are considered smug. They had their pick.

Op is obviously not in the top 20%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m from generation X where we were told that we could have it all. Just having kids is half of the equation and therefore nothing to be smug about. Anyone can reproduce and it’s nothing to be proud of. Juggling 3 kids and an amazing career is another story.

Having children is a major lifetime goal for most people. I'm not saying all -- but most. So having them is an achievement. it's something you've thought about your entire life -- since you were a kid yourself. Of course it's something to feel good about having accomplished. If you don't feel that way, why did you even have children? This is the part I don't understand. Women don't have to have kids now -- why do it if you don't want them that badly?

I’m the PP. I have two children whom I love dearly, but I don’t consider having them as an accomplishment on my part. Getting my PhD was an accomplishment for me not bearing children. Even though I love them more than anything else in my life.

This is odd to me. I don't think people really mean that getting pregnant and birthing a child is a major accomplishment. But creating a loving, stable, and enriching home for your children and taking steps so they flourish at different stages of life of course is. Not just anyone -- and most don't -- accomplish that.

I personally only have two kids, and I had the second at 37. I work full time and have a flourishing career that I'm proud of; I'm also proud of the home life I've created and the way in which I'm raising my children. They are absolutely both accomplishments.

Anyways, 10 pages later, I really think the PP who said that OP is confusing happiness for smugness nailed it.

I agree with this but I also think a lot of women view just having kids as a personal accomplishment on their life bucket list. Along with getting married, going to a top university, getting a big career, owing a nice home, etc.

This is not some life bucket list. This is life. You grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a condo/townhouse, have a few kids, send kids to college, retire…

Yes, sweetie but not everyone gets to go to college. Not everyone gets to buy a house. Not everyone is able to have children.

So no one should feel happiness and a sense of accomplishment in those things? And/or if you express your happiness, then you're a smug a-hole who is actually disparaging others' life choices, or insensitive for not being omniscient and knowing others' private struggles? So much insecurity...I just can't.

[Anonymous]

I have honestly never met one of the women OP is describing. I don’t know what to make of that.

[Anonymous]

This goes both ways, OP (I'm not one of the women you're describing, btw, but I did have my kid young). I got roasted for like 16 pages on some other thread about how 26-year-olds should never have kids, even if they are married, educated and financially stable. I am treated like a teen mom in this area sometimes and find it absurd. Oh and I still had fertility issues despite my age, so I'm not exempt from that club, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This goes both ways, OP (I'm not one of the women you're describing, btw, but I did have my kid young). I got roasted for like 16 pages on some other thread about how 26-year-olds should never have kids, even if they are married, educated and financially stable. I am treated like a teen mom in this area sometimes and find it absurd. Oh and I still had fertility issues despite my age, so I'm not exempt from that club, either.

I have a friend who had a baby at 24. It was an accident but they got married, come from good families, have a nice home, good jobs, etc. She is a decade younger than the rest of our mom friends group. We often teaser but in a good way.

[Anonymous]

Life is long and there are plenty of those smug under 30 moms who will surely end up divorced and on the other side of it. They also might act smug with you but there's no way of knowing what they have to put up with from their rich DH or anything else. Just focus on your own life and happiness and dont even pay attention to them

[Anonymous]

The smuggest mom i know ended up divorced with an ex husband in jail for embezzlement and most assets seized. It was poetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most women who are pretty, smart and nice can land themselves a husband and have a few kids by age 35.

There are a lot of jealous women out there. Be confident in your choices.

So if you don’t have a husband and 3 babies and a house by 35 you’re ugly and a failure?