Reply to Has anyone in here had an affair with a mutual friend or a neighbor of theirs ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom did this starting when I was 12. I found out on my own when I was 16. Total shitshow, two divorces, his kids are a wreck.  He is a loser but he caters to my mom's every wish.  It blew up friendships, carpools, the governing board of the town, everything.  They are still together and it sucks.[/quote]

Sorry.  People like this suck.  The epitome of selfishness and dysfunction.[/quote]

I always wonder if people who are selfish enough to do this find it’s worth when lives are ruined. I wonder how long the two jerks stay together before admitting failure and regretting their decision. I’m so surprised your mom and this loser are still together. [/quote]

Lives ruined because carpool ended?  If they're still together, maybe they're a far better match than their first spouses.  We don't know.[/quote]

Well, lives were not ruined.  But it was a major hassle.  This was a really, really small town and the two men were on the 3-person town board, so that fell apart.  It was truly stunning to me to realize, as a 16-year-old, that what my mother presented to me as a new post-separation relationship was in fact a 4-year affair, and that my mother had been lying to my face about various logistical things for the past four years.  I felt betrayed by him as well because he had been, literally since my birth, a trusted adult, as the father of one of my best friends.  The affair was widely known in town and it was humiliating to me to be the last to know.  It has definitely caused me to be a more suspicious and cynical person, because if you can't trust your mom, you can't trust anyone.

She is still with him, but I'm not sure they are such a great match.  They've broken up and gotten back together several times, first because he would not get a divorce, then because of his chronic unemployment and financial mooching, and general inability to manage adult life very well on his own.  He does understand what my father did not, which is that women like men who treat them with courtesy and respect.  But he's a total pushover and a loser in lots of other ways.  Our relationship is okayish now, but I still opt out of spending time with this guy and his family, and she tries every few years to manipulate me into doing it.  Sometimes she even tries to get my dad to spend time with the guy, and he always refuses, but she just can't give up on the dream of a happy modern blended family.  Looking back, I think the underlying problem is that she's kind of insane and tends to live in a fantasy world.

Her AP's son, formerly one of my closest friends literally from infancy, went all to drugs and while that might have happened anyway, this clearly did not help.  A boy-girl friendship at that age is a sensitive thing, and it could not withstand the difficult situation.  I tried to keep my knowledge secret from him for about 6 months and then he also discovered it on his own by snooping.  [/quote]

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