Guy Said I’m Not in His League..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're 29 and just started a 4 yr program. That means you'll be 33 when you're done. For the next 4 years, you're primary focus will be school and I'll assume you also have a job. That doesn't leave a lot of time for dating. Depending upon how you are paying for your education, there maybe debt at the end.

By 33, you're going to want to start a family. What time does that leave for just the 2 of you? Maybe he is not looking for someone that comes into a marriage with potential debt, lack of time for the relationship, and a desire to start a family before the biological clock starts clanging.

I wouldn't say that you are out of his league, just that the two of you are at different places in life right now. FWIW--I'm female and I can see his perspective.

No. This is a dude who likes to judge women to shore up his shriveled little ego.

If she was already through school and into a job, he'd find something else to chuck in her face.

And starting a family at 33 is hardly unusual these days. Many women do it later, especially educated ones. Mind blown?

[Anonymous]

I might be the minortity, but I agree with him. You’re 29 and just now getting your life together? You don’t seem like a suitable match for anyone who wants to get married and start a family. You will always be busy, and you’re unlikely to be financially stable. I picked a woman who had her sh*t together, because I didn’t want to support anyone.

[Anonymous]

After 2 dates, he wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with you and gave you a reason. I wouldn’t read too much into the reason he gave: He isn’t that into you. Move on. It was on the 2d date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who speaks in those terms, OP, is really, truly not someone you want to date. Just keep doing you and dating.

+1000

OP this guy is emotionally and socially stunted. Don't let his rudeness convince you that 1) you're not a catch, or 2) other guys will feel the same way. Call it a dodged bullet and keep it moving.

+1

He sounds like one of those Dewey Beach convertible driving shallow losers, OP. Forget it happened. You do you and find someone more likable. He sounds like a First Class A-Hole. You missed nothing.

[Anonymous]

I think you've posted about this before?
Try not to take it personally, he just wasn't the guy for you. There will be other guys who feel like he does, but they really don't matter. Focus on the guys who would never dream of seeing your school situation as a negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're 29 and just started a 4 yr program. That means you'll be 33 when you're done. For the next 4 years, you're primary focus will be school and I'll assume you also have a job. That doesn't leave a lot of time for dating. Depending upon how you are paying for your education, there maybe debt at the end.

By 33, you're going to want to start a family. What time does that leave for just the 2 of you? Maybe he is not looking for someone that comes into a marriage with potential debt, lack of time for the relationship, and a desire to start a family before the biological clock starts clanging.

I wouldn't say that you are out of his league, just that the two of you are at
different places in life right now. FWIW--I'm female and I can see his perspective.

Op here. I am fully aware that with being older and starting a new career, I won’t been seen as that great of a catch. I want to further my career because it’s the best choice for me. I know it will benefit me later in life once I have a family.

I do not expect anyone to take on any debt. I will be paying fir majority of this degree out of my savings. I will have about 10k of debt to pay off, which I will single handedly pay. I also do not want children until 35+, definitely not at 33. Not all women strive to start a family by 33.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you've posted about this before?
Try not to take it personally, he just wasn't the guy for you. There will be other guys who feel like he does, but they really don't matter. Focus on the guys who would never dream of seeing your school situation as a negative.

No. First time.

[Anonymous]

You went on 2 dates with this guy. It didn’t work out. This is why people date. Move on to NEXT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might be the minortity, but I agree with him. You’re 29 and just now getting your life together? You don’t seem like a suitable match for anyone who wants to get married and start a family. You will always be busy, and you’re unlikely to be financially stable. I picked a woman who had her sh*t together, because I didn’t want to support anyone.

+1. I think it's much harder to date when you're out of college or well beyond just out of college. When 2 Jrs in college meet, they come to the relationship with student loan debt. They find housing together and eat ramen while screwing like rabbits and getting drunk every weekend. Then they graduate and find jobs. They have no real responsibilities other than to service their student loan debt and pay the rent. The meet up with friends, go to happy hour, and go away for weekends. Over the next 10 years, they build a life together. When she says she wants to be a SAHM, he agrees and they muddle on with life.

In contrast, the 29 yr old guy in this picture has a job, has a financial plan, and is ready to establish his family life. He has money in the bank already and has started his retirement account. He's been in his a career for a few years and has already gotten a promotion. He's not so willing to easily share what he's worked for already with someone else. He'd like the other person to bring to the table as much as he is doing. OP is just starting out. She's not in the same place as this guy.

Good thing he let her know on the 2nd date she wasn't what he was looking for. I give him credit for not stringing her along until he found what he was really looking for.

[Anonymous]

What’s his job that makes him such a high league?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might be the minortity, but I agree with him. You’re 29 and just now getting your life together? You don’t seem like a suitable match for anyone who wants to get married and start a family. You will always be busy, and you’re unlikely to be financially stable. I picked a woman who had her sh*t together, because I didn’t want to support anyone.

Thank God you're not in the dating pool anymore!

[Anonymous]

D*** is free abundant. Move on the next one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might be the minortity, but I agree with him. You’re 29 and just now getting your life together? You don’t seem like a suitable match for anyone who wants to get married and start a family. You will always be busy, and you’re unlikely to be financially stable. I picked a woman who had her sh*t together, because I didn’t want to support anyone.

+1. I think it's much harder to date when you're out of college or well beyond just out of college. When 2 Jrs in college meet, they come to the relationship with student loan debt. They find housing together and eat ramen while screwing like rabbits and getting drunk every weekend. Then they graduate and find jobs. They have no real responsibilities other than to service their student loan debt and pay the rent. The meet up with friends, go to happy hour, and go away for weekends. Over the next 10 years, they build a life together. When she says she wants to be a SAHM, he agrees and they muddle on with life.

In contrast, the 29 yr old guy in this picture has a job, has a financial plan, and is ready to establish his family life. He has money in the bank already and has started his retirement account. He's been in his a career for a few years and has already gotten a promotion. He's not so willing to easily share what he's worked for already with someone else. He'd like the other person to bring to the table as much as he is doing. OP is just starting out. She's not in the same place as this guy.

Good thing he let her know on the 2nd date she wasn't what he was looking for. I give him credit for not stringing her along until he found what he was really looking for.

This is not most men. This is a dude without a libido. When a guy falls in love, he doesn't care what she does for a living or how much money she makes, or whether or not she has kids, or anything else. When he's in love, he wants to be with her. Then they figure it out together. All of this shit you're saying is not the real world.

[Anonymous]

Wow what a terrible person. I'm a nanny and single guys probably think that way about me but the divorced DILFs loooooove me. I'm cute and great with kids. There's a lid for every pot!

[Anonymous]

Most guys don’t care about career stuff if they are into you. This guy just wasn’t into you and told you on the second date. Move on.