Guy Said I’m Not in His League..

[Anonymous]

I had been on 2 dates with a guy who told he didn’t think it will work out. He gave the reason as me not being in the “ league” he usually goes for. I worked as a medical tech and just took the jump to further my career. I just started school ( 4 years - 3 years bachelor + 1 year fellowship) to become a radiation therapist. He said I’m cute and fun with a good personality, but he is looking for someone who has their life together at our 29. I get it, and I figured it would be an issue, but it sucks. I want to find something serious, maybe that can lead to marriage, but now do put off from dating. I want to be seen as a great catch, but I know in my current state, most wont view me in that way. Part of me wants to just wait until at least done with school ( 32) to start dating. Maybe then I will have a better chance as coming across as a better catch. I’m bummed and feeling hopeless.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who speaks in those terms, OP, is really, truly not someone you want to date. Just keep doing you and dating.

[Anonymous]

What a jerk! This guy did you a favor...you don't want to end up with someone like him.
Try not to listen to this assh***'s opinion. When you're ready, dust yourself off and get out there and find someone else. Don't wait until you're 32.

Meanwhile, know that karma's gonna get him...hope you'll hear about it when some woman dumps him....

[Anonymous]

You dodged a bullet OP.

[Anonymous]

Weird comment from him

Thought he was talking about being more attractive at first


Focus on being attractive, fun to be around and not crazy

Those attributes are way more important to a man than your career status if you are just talking about dating

By the time things get serious, your career will be on a better track

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had been on 2 dates with a guy who told he didn’t think it will work out. He gave the reason as me not being in the “ league” he usually goes for. I worked as a medical tech and just took the jump to further my career. I just started school ( 4 years - 3 years bachelor + 1 year fellowship) to become a radiation therapist. He said I’m cute and fun with a good personality, but he is looking for someone who has their life together at our 29. I get it, and I figured it would be an issue, but it sucks. I want to find something serious, maybe that can lead to marriage, but now do put off from dating. I want to be seen as a great catch, but I know in my current state, most wont view me in that way. Part of me wants to just wait until at least done with school ( 32) to start dating. Maybe then I will have a better chance as coming across as a better catch. I’m bummed and feeling hopeless.

Your problem is you coming up with a list of stuff that you're doing and asking yourself whether you're actually "in his league." F that! I would have laughed in his face. Next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who speaks in those terms, OP, is really, truly not someone you want to date. Just keep doing you and dating.

+1000

OP this guy is emotionally and socially stunted. Don't let his rudeness convince you that 1) you're not a catch, or 2) other guys will feel the same way. Call it a dodged bullet and keep it moving.

[Anonymous]

He's ridiculous, and yes, you dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Usually it's women who think of men in terms of career potential.

And it's equally cringeworthy to me, but socially acceptable to others.

[Anonymous]

Time to watch Legally Blonde with your wine and ice cream, and know that this douche-kabob isn't close to being good enough for you. Please don't let him be the reason you self-esteem takes a dive. You truly deserve better.

And he truly deserves to find the other half of his power-couple fantasy and his subsequent divorce and loss of half of his income five years later.

[Anonymous]

Please do not listen to some arrogant jackass and then make decisions about your life or determine your worth. The only thing you need to take away from his comments is that you dodged a bullet and that you thankfully do not ever have to interact with him again.

[Anonymous]

The fact that he would SAY THAT is indicative of him not being in as great a league as he thinks he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had been on 2 dates with a guy who told he didn’t think it will work out. He gave the reason as me not being in the “ league” he usually goes for. I worked as a medical tech and just took the jump to further my career. I just started school ( 4 years - 3 years bachelor + 1 year fellowship) to become a radiation therapist. He said I’m cute and fun with a good personality, but he is looking for someone who has their life together at our 29. I get it, and I figured it would be an issue, but it sucks. I want to find something serious, maybe that can lead to marriage, but now do put off from dating. I want to be seen as a great catch, but I know in my current state, most wont view me in that way. Part of me wants to just wait until at least done with school ( 32) to start dating. Maybe then I will have a better chance as coming across as a better catch. I’m bummed and feeling hopeless.

Your problem is you coming up with a list of stuff that you're doing and asking yourself whether you're actually "in his league." F that! I would have laughed in his face. Next!

Exactly! I big Bwahahaha M-F-er! In the words of Beyoncé

[Anonymous]

Douches gonna douche. You deserve much better, OP.

[Anonymous]

You're 29 and just started a 4 yr program. That means you'll be 33 when you're done. For the next 4 years, you're primary focus will be school and I'll assume you also have a job. That doesn't leave a lot of time for dating. Depending upon how you are paying for your education, there maybe debt at the end.

By 33, you're going to want to start a family. What time does that leave for just the 2 of you? Maybe he is not looking for someone that comes into a marriage with potential debt, lack of time for the relationship, and a desire to start a family before the biological clock starts clanging.

I wouldn't say that you are out of his league, just that the two of you are at different places in life right now. FWIW--I'm female and I can see his perspective.