Son is Throwing a Ft Because we Won't pay for his College Education

[Anonymous]

I can't believe you are for real. And if you are I feel really sorry for your kids.

Working is important but a 17 year old can't possibly save enough at a PT minimum wage job to fund much of college. I assume you are relatively low income so there should be financial aid available for your kids. Encourage him to apply for aid. Hopefully this kid can aspire to more than a fast food career.

[Anonymous]

Yucky troll.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you save for your children's college? If y suing have the means you should qualify for financial aide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I think you're awful. Hope you don't expect anyone to help take care of you when you're sick or terminal. Hope you saved enough money for long term care etc.

I think op is insane but so is your response. Not only would I help my dc go to college however I can, I also don't expect them to take care of me when I'm sick or terminal. I want them to fly and not be responsible for me.

[Anonymous]

It is so bizarre to think of a kid having an interest in college, and his parents actively working to discourage that.

Is there really no middle ground? What about telling him you will take him to see a small number (two or three) of his top choice schools within a reasonable travel distance, so he can get a flavor for what college is like. You never know, actually seeing the environment might give him the motivation he needs to start working harder. Then let him handle his applications, with the agreement that you'll take him to visit any schools he gets into and has a plan for affording. You're giving him the chance to have what he wants, but he'll have to put the work in to prove he really wants it.

[Anonymous]

Giving a little can help a lot Op.

You're not setting your kid up for success belittling him. What's wrong with a 2 hour day trip to jmu and check out the campus? Cost is $20 in gas and good conversation on the ride back.

Can you compromise? Your approach is clearly not working. How about paying for the 1st year for in state or community college.

Just bc the law states a kid is an adult at 18 doesn't mean you pull away your hand and lack the door.

Is it really worth ruining the relstionship? Glad your showing good examples of unconditional love and support.

And just what kind of job has your son done in the past? He's sat around in the basement for the past 5 summers?

[Anonymous]

Why did you even have kids? And I ask that honestly because it sounds like you have actively discouraged them from succeeding. It is my belief that it a basic parental duty to set a kid up for success. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to pay for college (especially if don't have the means), but you need to guide them from an early age and help them find their way to gain that success. Explain that your child can look at the websites, go to meet with the schools when they visit his school and visit local colleges. He can apply without actually visiting the schools.

You sound like a really horrible parent and I don't like saying that, but I cannot imagine any good parent deciding that they are tired of hearing that their 17 year old wants to go to college. Did you go to college yourself? Are you jealous of the potential that your child may be more successful than you? If that's the case, there is nothing that will help your children other than getting away from you. You are not a good role model and your kids need exposure to better people who will encourage and help show them the importance of education.

Also, I don't think that there is any shame in being a manager at a fast food joint, but there is shame in a parent believing that that the only thing their child can handle doing. You have built into your children your own defeatist attitude and that's a true shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you even have kids? And I ask that honestly because it sounds like you have actively discouraged them from succeeding. It is my belief that it a basic parental duty to set a kid up for success. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to pay for college (especially if don't have the means), but you need to guide them from an early age and help them find their way to gain that success. Explain that your child can look at the websites, go to meet with the schools when they visit his school and visit local colleges. He can apply without actually visiting the schools.

You sound like a really horrible parent and I don't like saying that, but I cannot imagine any good parent deciding that they are tired of hearing that their 17 year old wants to go to college. Did you go to college yourself? Are you jealous of the potential that your child may be more successful than you? If that's the case, there is nothing that will help your children other than getting away from you. You are not a good role model and your kids need exposure to better people who will encourage and help show them the importance of education.

Also, I don't think that there is any shame in being a manager at a fast food joint, but there is shame in a parent believing that that the only thing their child can handle doing. You have built into your children your own defeatist attitude and that's a true shame.

Word!

[Anonymous]

You are extremely selfish. Even if you do not pay for it, you can help him apply and make good financial and educational decisions. Why have kids if you either can't afford them or don't want to help them be successful. I was always taught you want your kids to do better than you, be happier than you and do the same for their kids. We will not be able to pay for the education my parents paid for my sister and I but we will do our best to help as much as we can.

[Anonymous]

My parents did not pay for my college education. Granted, I did not attend an Ivy, but I went to a very good university on my own dime and paid off my student loans by the time I was 23 and bought by first condo - by myself - without the help of my parents or anyone else, shortly thereafter.

I seriously don't see what is so wrong with the OP's post and why there is so much coddling going on with parents and their kids these days.

To the PP's that made the snarky comments about old age care - think about it. Your self centered kids who have everything handed to them are REALLY not going to be the best care givers and it frightens me that when I am old and decrepit that a bunch of millenials will be in charge of me!

So! I am glad my parents threw me to the wolves and made me self-sufficient because I shudder to think that I will have to rely on any of your self-important kiddos when I am in my glory days. Hopefully I will keep my good health and not ever have to be at the mercy of a younger generation taking care of me.

[Anonymous]

OP is a shit-tastic parent.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to comment on the financing of a college education, but I have two questions:

OP, did you and/or your DH have an opportunity to attend and graduate from college (genuinely curious).

Why is a 3.0 GPA an indication that your child is not ready for college, in your opinion? (I'm a former college admissions officer, FWIW: many, many students attend college with a much lower GPA than this: is there something more that you can add about why you feel this way?)

[Anonymous]

There's no way this is real. I understand not paying 100% for a super expensive private, but kicking your teenager out of your house for no reason is incredibly cruel. Is he stealing from you to buy drugs? That's about the only justification I can think of for not even helping at all.

[Anonymous]

If this isn't a troll, I am depressed.

[Anonymous]

I will never understand parents who won't do their best to help their kids get an education. I hope OP's a troll. If not she's a seriously terrible person.