need help with self care

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, OP. It is really tough but you are doing great.

I agree with the PP's suggestion about using your lunch break. That is the key for me. It is so hard to break away from the desk and the influx of work and emails, but it is essential. Schedule your lunch break on your calendar if you can and either go to the gym or just climb stairs in the stairwell.

I also agree that sleep is essential. I wish I could tell you how to make more hours in the day.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the mother of two young boys, ages 4 and 18 months. I am sleep deprived and everything that comes with raising two young kids that we all face. I love motherhood but money has been tight as my husband's job simply hasn't recovered ever since the economy and so he's taken a major salary cut (70%) that we struggle to bear. he kept thinking things would get better every few months but they just haven't. He struggles to do the best he can so this isnt a knock on him.

I work really really hard and long hours. I feel a lot of pressure as the main breadwinner. But even still, our finances are such that we cannot outsource tasks like lawn care and house cleaners and convenience foods. and I feel like we are having a series of months where everything goes wrong. Car repair after car repair, surprise expense after surprise expense. in the midst of it all, I have let myself go. I've gained a lot of weight and have been emotionally eating and haven't exercised. Chronically exhausted from staying up late to make lunches in the cheapest way possible and clean the house to a basic existence outside of Filth and clean out the cars and keep up with laundry and blah blah blah blah. of course my husband works just as hard as I do. and my youngest is up at 6 a.m. And off we go.

I don't keep crazy high standards but our house is mostly tidy most of the time and while our cars need a wash and have dents, there's usually nothing rotting in them and they run (though they've pushed that luck over the past two months). I just don't think I can let everything fall into hell to make time for myself because that makes me just as miserable you know? but at the same time, I'm fat and nothing fits and out of shape and emotionally eating to deal with the constant stress and financial pressure.

I guess I feel so daunted at finding more time and putting more pressure on myself, that I'm ignoring the problem. Do you have any advice for me? How did you find time for yourself to make sure that you were healthy without making it just another horrible added pressure?god knows I need more haircuts and pedicures, but I'm just talking healthy eating and exercise in maintaining a healthy weight.if you are an emotional eater and prone to these habits, how did you work your way out of them in a way that didn't stress you out more?

Thanks all.

OP, you are my twin, and I only have 1 DD who is 2. We are too broke to outsource anything except lawn mowing (we have a lot of land with big hills). I try to cook inexpensive foods. I cook almost every day, clean, laundry every day. I'm up so late making lunches. It sucks. And I let myself go too - old dingy clothes, gained weight. But recently, I changed my mindset and became determined to at least look better. I got on Zulilly and paid only $20 total for a dress (have it on now). Got a rec for a new stylist from somebody with awesome hair and she's only $35. I also bought some Avon makeup. I know this all costs money, but it's really like $20/week for a couple of weeks. meanwhile, I stopped buying ice cream and cupcakes etc. And weight fell off. It's been baby steps for 2 months, but I can see people looking at me, smiling at me, it feels great to look better and care more about myself. But this was all baby steps. This week, buy a new dress for $20. Maybe a little makeup. Don't eat dessert for a week.

Also, you need to ask DH to do some "defined tasks" as I like to call them. Can he do dishes and laundry? Baths? Or at least one? That would help you some.

In the long term, I have also decided in my awakening if you will that I do need more money to be less stressed out. So, I am determined to bring in more money. My idea is to sell Avon, and to start some affiliate marketing websites. Neither requires any big financial commitment - I think Avon is like $20 to start, and a website is $6-$10. I know someone making a few hundred a week selling Renu28.

Good luck - I'm right there with you and I'm exhausted too.

[Anonymous]

OP, wow, you and I have so much in common, except I have only one child and my DH makes more than me, but we're still struggling and I'm just. so. exhausted. I've put on so much weight. And I'm fighting with DH all the time.

As I was reading your post, it occurred to me to wonder whether you could get in a little bit of exercise with the 6am waker with maybe a 20 minute walk in the stroller?

Good luck to you....

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are stress eating, then getting stressed about gaining weight. It's a nasty cycle!

WeightWatchers does work. It doesn't cost much either.

The healthy food may cost more, but you can offset that by not buying sodas, juices, or snacks. There are always yogurt coupons and produce on sale.

You'll need to take a better look at your budget. Look for things like Starbucks or takeout. Those things can go. If you call up the cable company, DirectTV, or XM radio and threaten to quit, they usually cut your bill to keep you.

For car repairs, you may need to shop around. once you get a diagnosis of what's wrong, call a couple garages and ask them what it would cost to repair.

I have been in your shoes and it sucks. But if you cut costs elsewhere, you can hire help around the house.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there OP. I am prone to overeating and am trying to lose weight as well. Dieting doesn't work for me, but I've been trying off and on to use the My Fat Secret app (free) which is just a food diary, and I think it's making me a little more conscious about the calories. And I think if you can swing it, try to exercise during work hours, or as I discovered recently, lifting weights in the 15 minutes in the morning while my son plays. Doesn't sound like it's an option, but just checking - could exercise be part of your commute in any way? (parking the car further away, etc.).

[Anonymous]

I agree with getting more sleep. Could you on one of the weekends take a few hours to do some cooking to help with the lunch prep through the week? I started doing that recently while my DH watches the kids, and it's nice to have a little me time while cooking.

[Anonymous]

I know you don't ask for help with budgeting but here is what I have done to cut cost at my house to give you some idea if you haven't done so. If you financial situation gets better, you probably get less stress and are better.
I am not in DC so it may not apply to you
-Netflix instead of cable TV
-Cell phones instead of Home phone line
-Go with smaller Internet provider, they usually have better price.
-Quick grocery trip to buy reduced price products (because they think it will go bad sooner but they are still to good for up to 3 days in the fridge) to cook but don't attempt to buy other things or it will be costly instead of saving.
-I saved up to buy vacuum robot to vacuum the house, it is was totally worth it IMO, but your house need to be vacuum robot friendly meaning no cluster or it may get stuck.
-Make coffee at home, it costs 1/10+ of buying coffee daily(even the cheapest coffee out there)
-Eat breakfast at home (I usually eat dinner left over, I know some of you may think it's gross but it is food anyway and filling), bring lunch.
-Stop buying soda (I was given soda stream as gift and make my own bubbly flavor water).
-Don't bring snack to work or cash to buy them but bring lot of water or maybe fruit/yogurt
-I ask my cousin for clothing (we are in similar size and she is richer than me with load of clothes and some of them are still brand new)
-Look for easy recipes, slow cooker recipes to save time on cooking
HTH

[Anonymous]

Just want to say I totally understand. I gained 50 lbs with my last pregnancy by eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted because I was working a full-time job plus teaching two evening classes with a child in preschool. I eat, eat, eat when stressed, and eating well is so much less satisfying and so much more stressful!

I think PPs have given great advice that I hope to take myself! I will add one thing that makes our lives easier: cooking 2x the amount we need for dinner so we can heat it up the next night. Usually taco salad, chili, vegetable soup, chicken breasts and green veggies, things like that. Always low carb. If I'm going to spend the time baking 4 pork chops, why not 8? It doesn't add to the prep time at all. And eating fewer carbs at the end of the day is healthy and leaves me with some energy (no major sugar crash). xo

[Anonymous]

*should read expensive, not stressful

[Anonymous]

Lots of great advice here. In terms of developing healthy habits, I have found the book The Power of Habit to be a useful read. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weight Watchers works. Aside from losing weight, you learn to make better choices about what you eat. If you don't want the monthly expense (it's like $18), get a free app for your phone to help you track what you eat. MyFitnessPal is a good one. When you have to keep a record, you really do eat better.

Get outside and just walk somewhere. It's a great time of year, so get to a park and just walk on a trail. Take one of the kids if you have to.

Find a replacement for eating. The tea was a good idea.

But all that won't really help until you pay attention to why you are eating. Try to examine the underlying feelings...and here's the hard part: do it without judgment. You're eating to avoid when you should be confronting.

Good luck.

I have use both myfitnesspal and weightwatchers...I prefer MFP over WW. The fact that it's free is an added bonus!

[Anonymous]

It sounds cheesy but what some of the posters are saying is true - the less crap food you eat, the less you crave it. It just takes a while to get over that hump. But you will feel so much better if you don't eat crap and you WILL lose the taste for it.

I'm a big fan of frozen fruits - good all year round and tend to be cheaper plus great for the end of the week when you are low on fresh produce.

And if you can make something like a good cup of herb tea your treat (and I'm not a tea fan but heading into fall weather it is nice to sit down with a cup of something warm). Don't stress about fitting in a bunch of exercise, but I love taking walks and find even just doing 15 minutes before bed helps me sleep (if you live a neighborhood that isn't unsafe).

I love the gratitude journal too. Studies show it actually does help with symptoms of depression and feeling overwhelmed - I forced myself to do it a couple of years ago when I was going through a horrific time and it did help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reduce the stuff in your house by half. Get rid of 75% of your kids toys, no knick- knacks, one shelf of books - you get the idea. Clean out your kitchen cabinets. make it a goal to have two completely empty cabinets. Once your reduce the clutter, the housecleaning will become so much easier, you won't feel overwhelmed by that one thing and that relief will transfer over to other areas.

How would OP have time to do all this stuff?

[Anonymous]

This wasn't for weight loss so much as to fight fatigue, but when I was pregnant I got in the habit of doing squats, lunges, desk push-ups, shoulder circles, etc. every couple of hours in my office. It didn't require me to interrupt my work, so it didn't translate to getting home later and over time I noticed I was getting stronger. Build more muscle, burn more fat, right? Might be an easy way to start slow. In fact, I should probably start doing that again...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reduce the stuff in your house by half. Get rid of 75% of your kids toys, no knick- knacks, one shelf of books - you get the idea. Clean out your kitchen cabinets. make it a goal to have two completely empty cabinets. Once your reduce the clutter, the housecleaning will become so much easier, you won't feel overwhelmed by that one thing and that relief will transfer over to other areas.

How would OP have time to do all this stuff?

UnF@#$ Your Habitat has a great method. Do it in 20 minute chunks.