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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the mother of two young boys, ages 4 and 18 months. I am sleep deprived and everything that comes with raising two young kids that we all face. I love motherhood but money has been tight as my husband's job simply hasn't recovered ever since the economy and so he's taken a major salary cut (70%) that we struggle to bear. he kept thinking things would get better every few months but they just haven't. He struggles to do the best he can so this isnt a knock on him.

I work really really hard and long hours. I feel a lot of pressure as the main breadwinner. But even still, our finances are such that we cannot outsource tasks like lawn care and house cleaners and convenience foods. and I feel like we are having a series of months where everything goes wrong. Car repair after car repair, surprise expense after surprise expense. in the midst of it all, I have let myself go. I've gained a lot of weight and have been emotionally eating and haven't exercised. Chronically exhausted from staying up late to make lunches in the cheapest way possible and clean the house to a basic existence outside of Filth and clean out the cars and keep up with laundry and blah blah blah blah. of course my husband works just as hard as I do. and my youngest is up at 6 a.m. And off we go.

I don't keep crazy high standards but our house is mostly tidy most of the time and while our cars need a wash and have dents, there's usually nothing rotting in them and they run (though they've pushed that luck over the past two months). I just don't think I can let everything fall into hell to make time for myself because that makes me just as miserable you know? but at the same time, I'm fat and nothing fits and out of shape and emotionally eating to deal with the constant stress and financial pressure.

I guess I feel so daunted at finding more time and putting more pressure on myself, that I'm ignoring the problem. Do you have any advice for me? How did you find time for yourself to make sure that you were healthy without making it just another horrible added pressure?god knows I need more haircuts and pedicures, but I'm just talking healthy eating and exercise in maintaining a healthy weight.if you are an emotional eater and prone to these habits, how did you work your way out of them in a way that didn't stress you out more?

Thanks all.
[/quote]

OP, you are my twin, and I only have 1 DD who is 2.  We are too broke to outsource anything except lawn mowing (we have a lot of land with big hills).  I try to cook inexpensive foods.  I cook almost every day, clean, laundry every day.  I'm up so late making lunches.  It sucks.  And I let myself go too - old dingy clothes, gained weight.  But recently, I changed my mindset and became determined to at least look better.  I got on Zulilly and paid only $20 total for a dress (have it on now).  Got a rec for a new stylist from somebody with awesome hair and she's only $35.  I also bought some Avon makeup.  I know this all costs money, but it's really like $20/week for a couple of weeks.  meanwhile, I stopped buying ice cream and cupcakes etc.  And weight fell off.  It's been baby steps for 2 months, but I can see people looking at me, smiling at me, it feels great to look better and care more about myself.  But this was all baby steps.  This week, buy a new dress for $20.  Maybe a little makeup.  Don't eat dessert for a week.

Also, you need to ask DH to do some "defined tasks" as I like to call them.  Can he do dishes and laundry?  Baths? Or at least one?  That would help you some.

In the long term, I have also decided in my awakening if you will that I do need more money to be less stressed out.  So, I am determined to bring in more money.  My idea is to sell Avon, and to start some affiliate marketing websites.  Neither requires any big financial commitment - I think Avon is like $20 to start, and a website is $6-$10.  I know someone making a few hundred a week selling Renu28.

Good luck - I'm right there with you and I'm exhausted too.  [/quote]

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