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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
DS starting to act like a gay, is this just a phase?
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Anonymous
| I really have no experience with this, but I would just assume it's too early to tell and would not jump to conclusions. Maybe he's gay, maybe he's a heterosexual who associates better with girls and is interested in things stereotypically thought of as feminine, or maybe it's just a phase. I think it's normal for kids to go through all sorts of phases-- maybe it's even some normal hormonal changes. If it were me, I'd just support whatever he's into and let him be who he is. I think that trying to steer him towards more boyish things would be useless and could even damage his self-esteem. |
Anonymous
Most people on this forum are very irrational when it comes to discussing feelings on homosexuality thus the reason why OP keeps throwing out disclaimers that really aren't necessary. But she has to keep the rabid dogs at bay because it's nearly impossible to have a discussion on subjects like this. You can't even get a word out before someone starts saying "anti-gay", "bigot", "homophobe"....blah, blah, blah. OP, find a forum with people who have some sense and who don't automatically revert to argumentum ad hominem. |
Anonymous
| First thing you need to do is learn, and really understand, why the phrase "act like a gay" is wrong. That knowledge will serve you well, no matter what happens with your son. |
Anonymous
It's a whole lot harder to try to be straight when you're not than to be gay. And, the bottom line is that it's not your choice. Let's face it, if we had our choices, none of our kids would have special needs, but some do. All of our kids would have an easy time in school and work in jobs that pay in the seven figures, but most won't. We would like all of our kids to excel in sports and none to be fat - which by the way, in terms of hierarchy, my MSer will tell you that it's far worse to be fat than gay - but some won't even like sports and some will be fat. You just don't get to pick. |
Anonymous
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I have to say...I am appalled at how judgemental and rude the posters here can be. They are so quick to throw words and insults at the OP..but I would GUARANTEE that if they found themselves in a similar situation with their own child, they would be concerned, too. Or at least curious about what the child's behavior meant. Do not act as though you would do NOTHING if your child was exhibiting different behavior than he/she had been just weeks prior.
I agree in saying that you should love and support DS no matter the outcome. |
Anonymous
You are right, but I'm still thinking the OP is not a native English speaker. OP hasn't answered that yet, but if it's the case then it's a little more understandable and a learning occasion for them. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I am a native English speaker, and I am rather surprised that some of you may think that I'm not. I'm from the south (South Carolina), and I come from a very southern conservative family. We moved into the DC area recently because of a new job offer for DH. In my family and circle of friends saying "the gays" isn't offensive and I still have trouble understanding why you guys think it is. |
Anonymous
| It's easy to jump down OP's throat but let's be real. You'd all be fine if your kid turned out to be gay? Doubt it. Just because you love your kid, doesn't mean you wouldn't be dissapointed |
Anonymous
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I'd treat as if he were left-handed. Or a redhead. Or someone who had a particular fondness for cauliflower. |
Anonymous
| OP sounds like a foreign. |
Anonymous
Hi OP - I'm the one who suggested you were a non-native English speaker. The ONLY reason for that was your use of the term "the gays". I don't remember hearing that since I was a kid ... and I'm 42. Saying that, my family from a rural town use some words that make my jaw drop, so I believe you! |
Anonymous
| - being gay has to do with who you want to have sex with, not whether you play with boys or girls. You can't change your son, so I suggest you stop worrying. If he does turn out to be gay, I assume you want to support and love him, right? Not add to his burdens (as you see them)? If so, I suggest you start reading up on gay rights, maybe join pflag, so you can be the best mother there is, and support your son. |
Anonymous
Its much like saying "the blacks" or "act like a black" or any other divisive phrasing about a group of people. Its also stereotyping. Kids are kids, OP. He's not automatically gay because as 4-5 year old you perceive him to be acting "feminine". There are masculine gay men, feminine straight men, and vice versa. He is who he is. Kids role play and play with interests as they grow - that's completely normal. Your job as a parent is to raise him to be a respectful, intelligent, well rounded, and open minded being. Your job is not to raise him to act like how you think boys should act. Kids are their own individuals, not our puppets or clones. |
Anonymous
| You coward liberal bullies crack me up. I would be very concerned if my son started to embrace the gays and their lifestyle. OP deserves unbiased advice, he already said he wasn't s homophobe. |
Anonymous
Given the tone of your post and yes, your word choices and the fact that you are from a southern conservative family really says it all. Essentially, your son isn't running around doing "real" boy stuff and you are fretting that, oh no, he might be gay. Get out the smelling salts, Scarlett. The gays is as offensive as "the blacks" or "the whites" or "the jews" then dropping a bunch of stereotypical crap after it. My son is starting to act like a jew, is this just a phase? He picked up a penny (!) off the sidewalk yesterday. |