H’s ADHD can’t be fixed. Now what?

[Anonymous]

So many unmarriable men out there (sorry, ladies) with ADHD, porn addiction, phone addiction, gaming too much, smoking weed, getting drunk, sports/gambling obsessed or just all around childish and lazy. Our society is in a bad spot.

Grow up, guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP with an update.

After posting this, I got overwhelmed by the whole situation and ended up having a panic attack.

He asked what was wrong and I told him. He flipped out, threw his phone across the room, yelled “then just leave me it’s what everyone does”, and locked himself in the guest bedroom.

I went through his phone and he’s on hundreds of web pages a day. He’s also spending a lot of time looking through random women’s facebook photos. Not thirst traps, but random, seemingly normal/real women.

I’m freaking out a bit, he’s never thrown things or yelled before and it was seemingly out of nowhere.

This seems to be way beyond ADHD and getting into some sort of severe mental illness. I’m at a complete loss at what to do.

The random women are probably people he has known earlier in life / went to school with, he is looking up to see how their lives turned out.

OP. He’s spending hours a day on it. I don’t think he’s even known that many women, and even if he did, hours a day seems extreme. Especially when he’s neglecting me and the kids.

[Anonymous]

Have the phone help him quit the phone.

Send him reels for companies / individuals pointing out phone addiction and offering solutions for it.

[Anonymous]

If he has a job how can he be lying in bed most the time? Is he WFH and not working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to be there for your children first. I left someone who was masking ASD for years. Then it spiraled out of control and he is no more. Life is so much better for all of us now, even his family.
It wasn't my duty to help him. His huge family didn't and couldn't help him. My duty is to my kids.

Wtf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP with an update.

After posting this, I got overwhelmed by the whole situation and ended up having a panic attack.

He asked what was wrong and I told him. He flipped out, threw his phone across the room, yelled “then just leave me it’s what everyone does”, and locked himself in the guest bedroom.

I went through his phone and he’s on hundreds of web pages a day. He’s also spending a lot of time looking through random women’s facebook photos. Not thirst traps, but random, seemingly normal/real women.

I’m freaking out a bit, he’s never thrown things or yelled before and it was seemingly out of nowhere.

This seems to be way beyond ADHD and getting into some sort of severe mental illness. I’m at a complete loss at what to do.

After he throws his phone, does he get up and get it? If so, he's not too tired to get up, he's just messing with you.

Who is the everyone who left him?

How long have you been married?

Why did you marry him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has complex PTSD and having the children has triggered it. You should talk to your therapist about that.. he more than likely has anxiety, depression, and ADHD

This. My husband is similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has complex PTSD and having the children has triggered it. You should talk to your therapist about that.. he more than likely has anxiety, depression, and ADHD

This. My husband is similar.

Adding it in part manifest as ADHD type symptoms. I mean, I think he definitely has ADHD as well but the CPTSD exacerbates everything trauma is such a jerk

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP with an update.

After posting this, I got overwhelmed by the whole situation and ended up having a panic attack.

He asked what was wrong and I told him. He flipped out, threw his phone across the room, yelled “then just leave me it’s what everyone does”, and locked himself in the guest bedroom.

I went through his phone and he’s on hundreds of web pages a day. He’s also spending a lot of time looking through random women’s facebook photos. Not thirst traps, but random, seemingly normal/real women.

I’m freaking out a bit, he’s never thrown things or yelled before and it was seemingly out of nowhere.

This seems to be way beyond ADHD and getting into some sort of severe mental illness. I’m at a complete loss at what to do.

Throwing his phone and yelling obviously aren’t good, but I’m uncertain why you’re “freaking out” about it.

[Anonymous]

^^ versus the other behaviors you describe; it seems consistent with his MO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has complex PTSD and having the children has triggered it. You should talk to your therapist about that.. he more than likely has anxiety, depression, and ADHD

This. My husband is similar.

Adding it in part manifest as ADHD type symptoms. I mean, I think he definitely has ADHD as well but the CPTSD exacerbates everything trauma is such a jerk

ADHD is common when you have trauma in your brain and you can’t keep things straight. You also know you’re smart, but you don’t understand why the anxiety and depression makes it impossible for you to complete tasks which comes out as anger..

The comment about just leave me everybody else does is common with people with complex PTSD. And it’s wild as they are constantly pushing away the only person that isn’t gonna leave them just to prove that everybody leaves them.

[Anonymous]

I would divorce, and for the love of God do NOT get pregnant again. You have to save yourself and your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:H has severe ADHD. We’ve tried therapy, we’ve tried medication. None of it works, or with the meds, it works for a bit but wears off, so we have to increase the dose to the point where the side effects are worse than the ADHD itself.

H is extremely distraught and upset, and developing an ulcer from the stress. He’s also entered a severe depression where he basically lies in bed most of the time.

I’m at a loss on what to do. Every day I worry he’ll lose his job, leave the toddler outside alone again, or any number of things. It’s to the point where if I don’t buy him food and make it for him, he just doesn’t eat or gets takeout/fast food, which he can’t afford (has taken multiple loans out because he’s bad with money).

I can’t bring myself to have sex with him anymore. There’s zero attraction on my end. I’m just not attracted to someone who is more like a small child than a partner.

He is on his phone a LOT. I e suggested he quit the phone but he says that’s not the problem and won’t.

Where do I go from here? I’m worried a divorce will cause him to spiral into a worse depression, pick up his former addictions (alcohol and weed), and it won’t be safe to leave the kids with him.

This doesn’t sound like ADHD. Is he interested in helping himself?

I agree and I have severe ADHD. He needs mental help and CBT quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP with an update.

After posting this, I got overwhelmed by the whole situation and ended up having a panic attack.

He asked what was wrong and I told him. He flipped out, threw his phone across the room, yelled “then just leave me it’s what everyone does”, and locked himself in the guest bedroom.

I went through his phone and he’s on hundreds of web pages a day. He’s also spending a lot of time looking through random women’s facebook photos. Not thirst traps, but random, seemingly normal/real women.

I’m freaking out a bit, he’s never thrown things or yelled before and it was seemingly out of nowhere.

This seems to be way beyond ADHD and getting into some sort of severe mental illness. I’m at a complete loss at what to do.

OP this is way beyond ADHD. The take your child and go home to your parents.

And learn a lesson about getting involved with anyone who has a history of pot use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many unmarriable men out there (sorry, ladies) with ADHD, porn addiction, phone addiction, gaming too much, smoking weed, getting drunk, sports/gambling obsessed or just all around childish and lazy. Our society is in a bad spot.

Grow up, guys.

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