Forum Index
»
Tweens and Teens
Why is DD being excluded?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Talk to the counselor. This is common and they would probably have some good advice. |
Anonymous
Meh, OP prefaced with that because otherwise the first comments would be "could she be on the spectrum?" |
Anonymous
| How old is she and how long has this been going on? |
Anonymous
|
We really need more info OP. How old, how long it has been going on etc
It sounds like she isn’t being bullied or picked on, just excluded? This could well be social anxiety on her end or lack of confidence? It can make people seem very aloof and is often misinterpreted as disinterest or being snooty. It could also be appearance- clothing etc? Does she seem to dress similarly to her peers (seems important at certain ages unfortunately)? No hygiene issues or anything like that? |
Anonymous
This is bullying. |
Anonymous
This |
Anonymous
No it isn’t. For goodness sakes. Children have free will to make friends. The onus for friendship lies with everyone. |
Anonymous
| How old and what grade. Need that info to help. |
Anonymous
|
Speak to the teacher to understand what’s happening.
You can also ask the school social worker or psychologist for resources so you can help your child work on social skills. You may also have to be proactive in arranging playdates. |
Anonymous
| I do think it's easy for unassertive kids to fly under the radar. Social currency has become a lot more complicated with the affluence in this area--which kids are consistently inviting others to do "cool" things, which have cool style and confidence, lively social media etc. Have her invite one potential friend over at a time until some click. |
Anonymous
Np. Wow. Are you seeking a therapist yet? If not, you do so expeditiously. You sound incredibly angry with a stranger's question. |
Anonymous
| OP, same thing with my daughter. She has "friends" she hangs out with at school. But they all meet up after school and exclude her. Maybe it's just the age. |
Anonymous
|
This sounds like my 11 year old. the things that helped :
- finding therapist to help develop social skills - cultivating friendships outside of school with activities (mix of arts and sports). - switching schools. we realized none of my kid’s classmates were in the same activities. just not a lot in common. we went from small private to public and they loved the switch. - giving the kid two “get out of school” cards. they could call for early pick up or even skip a day. no questions asked. this actually helped my kid tough thru the not-great days because they wanted to save the cards for the really bad days it can be really hard. |
Anonymous
|
Do you think it's possible that she does something the other kids find really annoying?
My DD has had a friend for about 2 years, a grade younger than her. She was thrilled that he was joining her in the MS this year. She knew other kids made fun of him and think he's "too much" and she always defended him passionately. But she didn't have a lot of interactions with him through school or within big social groups. They do an EC together and now she's realizing just. how. annoying. he. is. When she put together her birthday invite list, I couldn't believe he wasn't on it. I was upset. She was like, I want to have a nice birthday, and he ruins everything by being incredibly dramatic, crying for no reasonable reason, being loud, etc. She and even other kids have to sometimes spend time away from the fun or important activity they are doing to go talk to him and calm him down. She has never said a mean word to him and still defends him to others, but she draws the line at feeling she has to include him in out of school events that are supposed to be fun for everyone. I am sure it's hard to think that could be your kid, but consider it. |
Anonymous
I am willing to bet OP or kid is HFASD. At the very least OP needs a course on social skills. |