Big Law spouses - give me your tips and tricks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

That's hilarious, I'm a size 2 married to a V30 equity partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

That's hilarious, I'm a size 2 married to a V30 equity partner.

I'm so sorry. At least he's equity tho? Praying for u.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biggest piece of advice I can give is do what works for YOUR family, and ignore any of the judgy people around you who aren't living your life and who want to tell you what to do.
I'm a biglaw spouse and I quit my job 10 years ago,. We had a nanny and housekeeper when the kids were little. It would have continued to be doable as long as the kids were in pre-school/ elementary, but once the eldest hit middle school, it gets much more complicated.
DH travels at least once a week for work, the kids are at different schools, activities are all over town, I like to be able to cook for the family, and given all that, it made the most sense for me to step back. I work very part time now, and it works for us.

I used to think the early years wwre tough. Kids sports really pushed me over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

That's hilarious, I'm a size 2 married to a V30 equity partner.

I'm so sorry. At least he's equity tho? Praying for u.

Never mention the name of the firm. Here's hoping he laterals to a V10 someday.

/s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

That's hilarious, I'm a size 2 married to a V30 equity partner.

I'm so sorry. At least he's equity tho? Praying for u.

Never mention the name of the firm. Here's hoping he laterals to a V10 someday.

/s

What in the blazes are the two PPs talking about? Why would I care if my husband laterals into a V10 someday?

OP here

[Anonymous]

To answer your original question Op, you need to operate as if it's only you. It's just you. Make logistic decisions, budget decisions, decisions re: the family schedule, your schedule as if he doesn't exist. That's not meant to be snarky. I am not saying he needs to change. It is what it is -- and you have got to come-at this situation as if he doesn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Um. Get a life. That’s my advice.
-BigLaw female partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

That's hilarious, I'm a size 2 married to a V30 equity partner.

I'm so sorry. At least he's equity tho? Praying for u.

Never mention the name of the firm. Here's hoping he laterals to a V10 someday.

/s

What in the blazes are the two PPs talking about? Why would I care if my husband laterals into a V10 someday?

OP here

And that attitude is why you're married to a non-equity partner.

[Anonymous]

What specifically are you struggling with? Laundry? Kid driving? Not getting couple time? ID the things that are causing you pain and use your money (hopefully he is making a lot of it!) to fix them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

The wives never know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

That's hilarious, I'm a size 2 married to a V30 equity partner.

I'm so sorry. At least he's equity tho? Praying for u.

Never mention the name of the firm. Here's hoping he laterals to a V10 someday.

/s

What in the blazes are the two PPs talking about? Why would I care if my husband laterals into a V10 someday?

OP here

And that attitude is why you're married to a non-equity partner.

Op - because I don’t care if he is equity or non-equity? I have my own life outside of my husbands work. I work full time as a director and have 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What specifically are you struggling with? Laundry? Kid driving? Not getting couple time? ID the things that are causing you pain and use your money (hopefully he is making a lot of it!) to fix them.

Op - thank you I think the biggest issue is the non-consistency of when he is super insanely busy and when he isn’t. So I never know when work is going to interfere with helping with the kids or vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

Damn you really didn't need to hit her with that.

One of my favorite DCUM posts of all time included a line about "If you want to marry a partner at a V10, you need to be a size 0 or 2. If you're a size 4 you can probably marry someone at a V30. Gross." I like to think it was a joke - because I am a size 4 married to an equity partner at a V10 - and to this day I still laugh about it. But it may not have been a joke in which case, yikes.

That's hilarious, I'm a size 2 married to a V30 equity partner.

I'm so sorry. At least he's equity tho? Praying for u.

Never mention the name of the firm. Here's hoping he laterals to a V10 someday.

/s

What in the blazes are the two PPs talking about? Why would I care if my husband laterals into a V10 someday?

OP here

And that attitude is why you're married to a non-equity partner.

Op - because I don’t care if he is equity or non-equity? I have my own life outside of my husbands work. I work full time as a director and have 3 kids.

We were joking about DCUM attitudes in general, not you. Relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people with dual intense careers have three kids rather than stopping at one or two.

Hire a nanny, is the answer.

Non equity partner is not really partner. You know that right?

The wives never know this.

Puh-lease, if she posted that he was an equity partner you would accuse her of being a gold digger.