DD Semester Away: I hate you

[Anonymous]

I would ignore. If your relationship is, otherwise, ok. ignore. Everyone says dumb stuff, occasionally, that they regret. Leave open this possibility. Don't ramp up any drama over it.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully DD was drunk otherwise she's just dumb. Any teen friends will be nodding their heads like "omg your parents suck" in solidarity when their friend is complaining. This is hardly earth shattering confirmation.

[Anonymous]

Is she in high school or college?

I would ignore the text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she in high school or college?

I would ignore the text.

Probably college since this is the Adult Children forum.

[Anonymous]

One of the biggest bummers about this story is that a young woman with an opportunity to study abroad is using the time to ruminate about her mean mom. The 24/7 contact via phones has completely hampered this generation’s ability to grow TF up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d text back “I’m sorry you feel like that. I love you no matter what.” Maybe she was drunk?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the biggest bummers about this story is that a young woman with an opportunity to study abroad is using the time to ruminate about her mean mom. The 24/7 contact via phones has completely hampered this generation’s ability to grow TF up.

COVID put adolescents back. She's probably going through what she should have experienced in high school.

[Anonymous]

Provide necessities- food, shelter, basic clothes. Tell her that 30 days after she graduates high school, she must live elsewhere and provide for herself.
Two or three years working a broom will likely awaken her to reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the biggest bummers about this story is that a young woman with an opportunity to study abroad is using the time to ruminate about her mean mom. The 24/7 contact via phones has completely hampered this generation’s ability to grow TF up.

COVID put adolescents back. She's probably going through what she should have experienced in high school.

The COVID card is up at this point. She wasn't 5 back then she was probably 17.

[Anonymous]

Instead of all these tit for tat responses why not talk to her? Ask if she sent the text and try to figure out what is going on

Not providing for her or kicking her out won't bring you a close relationship which I assume yoy wabt?

[Anonymous]

Be the adult and ignore.

You can ask her about it face to face when she returns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the biggest bummers about this story is that a young woman with an opportunity to study abroad is using the time to ruminate about her mean mom. The 24/7 contact via phones has completely hampered this generation’s ability to grow TF up.

COVID put adolescents back. She's probably going through what she should have experienced in high school.

The COVID card is up at this point. She wasn't 5 back then she was probably 17.

Exactly. She should have been socializing as a teen. Instead she was doing virtual school. She's going through now what she should have gone through then.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the text.
Hope one of her "friends" got her phone.

It doesn't matter if you hate me or not, I will always love you.

However, that doesn't mean you must accept unacceptable treatment.

No, I would not cut off her phone in a foreign country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD went to Spain with a bunch of kids from her school for a semester abroad.

Out of the blue I get a text, “I’ve been talking to my friends, and they all agree you are a horrible controlling parent and I don’t want to talk to you.”

I didn’t respond because she said she didn’t want to talk to me, and I felt she was just baiting me anyway. The only time this came up at home was when I wouldn’t permit her to go a HS party when I knew the parents were out of town. I told her then I will not apologize for parenting. It turns out that one kid got so drunk that another kid called an ambulance. I never said “told you so” or anything like that, but apparently that made it all the worse that I didn’t let her go because everyone who went was talking about the drama and she was an outsider.

Apparently she has been harboring feelings about this over the past several years. I didn’t stop her from dating, or going out with her friends. She dressed the way she wanted to, took the classes she wanted to, did whatever hobbies that interested her. I can’t think of any other time I gave her a hard no and I was within my right as a parent to say no.

I am a single parent so I guess there is no one else for her to blame. WWYD? I am inclined to do what she wants and just not text her.

OP, what did she really write because even though you've put it in quotes, this sounds like a 50 y/o woman wrote it so I assume it is your interpretation of what she said. Or maybe this is a made up post, IDK.

[Anonymous]

You can tell who in this thread were raised my good, loving parents and those that were not. All of the “cut her off, she’s horrible!” people are in the latter category.