How common is swinging, really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "it's quite common, I tried it so I know" PP crops up often when this topic gets mentioned here. The PP will deny this but the style's the same, as well as the insistence that all types of people do this more than we realize. The details insisting on how very mom-next-door normal she is ("typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted") seem like she's protesting too much, if you know what I mean. Like she's out to be the poster girl (if it's a woman who's actually posting) for swinging as just another way to spend a Saturday night when it's too rainy to barbecue. Doesn't pass the smell test. Affairs? Sure. Organized swinging? Eh, maybe, but not the common thing DCUM wants to believe it is, OP. Too many ways to get caught, too many couples where one is interested and the other isn't, too many chances for feelings to develop and scupper the no-strings fun, etc. Don't believe everything that people on DCUM insist "everyone's doing" all the time.

NP. You seem strangely invested in convincing people it's not very common. Why is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

How did you break into this scene and find other like minded couples?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

How did you break into this scene and find other like minded couples?

Anyone with white painted rocks around there house. Just look for those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

LOL those are the ones who are doing it the most.

-former dc staffer who worked on the hill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

How did you break into this scene and find other like minded couples?

Anyone with white painted rocks around there house. Just look for those.

I thought this was a joke at first, but the neighbors who moved in across the street moved in 3 weeks ago and the very first thing they did was put white boulders in their yard. It definitely made me raise an eyebrow.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately not common enough. Monogamy is so boring.

[Anonymous]

Pineapples. Just look for the pineapple statues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

How did you break into this scene and find other like minded couples?

At the time, there were regular events that I heard about ... wait for it ... in the now-defunct explicit forum. There was a local group with a website, Entre Nous, that had weekly meet-and-greet parties. These were dance parties at regular venues in DC, either they rented the entire place or a private room. These were NOT sex parties. No nudity, no sex. Just for meeting other couples. They also sponsored events at private venues where people could hook up. There's a guy who still hosts these expensive, sexy event-style parties that were a lot of fun when I attended. Again, parties at regular venues in the city. Live music, performers, sexy stuff, but no public sex. They were fun to meet others who were "open", dance
or make out with other people. There's also an established swinger's club outside of Baltimore that I went to a couple of times, Tabu. Also met other couples through Feeld and SLS. I've been out of the scene for a few years, so I have no idea what the current apps for non-monogamous dating/swinging, but I'm sure the internet will update you, haha.

Like a PP said, it can be thrilling. Not much needs to happen for you to get a little extra zing to spice up your relationship. I wasn't having sex with random strangers at these events. It was more about meeting, flirting, dancing, maybe making out with others along with your partner. It turned me on to see him flirt and dance with other women. We did get to the point where we connected with other couples. There doesn't have to be any "swapping." Sometimes it was more about group seduction, but no actual sex with anyone but my partner.

I don't care to argue with the doubters, haha. All I've written is true. Take it or not.

[Anonymous]

My buddy Madison Cawthorn said it is quite common on the Hill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

LOL those are the ones who are doing it the most.

-former dc staffer who worked on the hill.

Maybe I’ve been too naive.

Signed. Professional male who wouldn’t dare to try this..

[Anonymous]

I have a friend that worked on the hill and he said it’s like you’d imagine. Congressmen are sleeping with interns and lots of cheating going on

[Anonymous]

True swinging is rare, super rare in a socially conservative city like DC. And yeah it’s generally filled with people who are non-mainstream in one way or another.

However, I think explicitly or implicitly “open” marriages are WAY more common. My guess is people talking about swinging, hitting on a neighbor, etc. are referring to this. Maybe one-off threesomes, or the spouses are reasonably free to stray within certain limits. That’s how we are. No one would call us “swingers”.

[Anonymous]

NP. Met a divorcee on several occasions who said that her exH proposed swinging and she refused. The exH ultimately left for another woman.

Not sure if her story is completely true or if her exH simply wanted anyone but her. She was pretty, but with a huge ego so I moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How did you break into this scene and find other like minded couples?

This is a write-up on the sexy parties mentioned above in another post. If you don’t want to go to full swinger events, these are fun parties to meet people who are more sexually open and adventurous. And the article is accurate, they do get quite crowded. Again, there are a lot more sexually adventurous people in the area than many of the naysaying PPs believe:

https://washingtoncitypaper.com/article/181562/there-was-a-marie-antoinettethemed-sex-party-in-blagden-alley-on-saturday/

[Anonymous]

I know a ton of people and only two couples are swingers and all four are old and ugly. It's more common in the male gay community.