How common is swinging, really?

[Anonymous]

Its not common, not even in the countries where polygamy is legal. Yes, there are weirdos in every society but that doesn't make it mainstream.

[Anonymous]

I’ve worked with people from all walks of life. I’ve only known a few, and they were also into drugs so it was an exchange type thing.
If I found out people I know personally did it, I’d avoid them like the plague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

We swing with another couple None of us are unattractive or lead boring lives, I assure you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

We swing with another couple None of us are unattractive or lead boring lives, I assure you

be mindful that personal conduct—including sexual behavior that may be viewed as a vulnerability (e.g., undisclosed swinging or other high-risk activities)—can be flagged during clearance reviews and may affect your eligibility to hold or retain a clearance. Clearance holders are expected to uphold high standards of trust and reliability both professionally and personally.

[Anonymous]

I swing every weekend but I usually strike out

[Anonymous]

If anyone has anything worthwhile like a partner they love, a job they feel proud of, a family they cherish, a community they value, a religion they believe in etc, they wouldn't risk it with risky behavior unless they are mentally deranged about it. It's unlikely for both husband and wife developing that, one of them is just being pushed into it.

[Anonymous]

Normal partner would just end the marriage if funky partner forced it unless they are trapped due to a financial, social or other reason. Its not a healthy choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

We swing with another couple None of us are unattractive or lead boring lives, I assure you

You are probably less attractive than you think. A close friend is a swinger and she has shown me pictures of couples she has hooked up with in DC and they are all very plain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve lived in the DMV area for years, and have lived a fair common DC professional life.

Two anecdotes: Following my divorce a decade ago, one professional woman that I met - a university professor - said that she left her husband when he wanted to them swing. He then went out on his own without her and eventually married someone he met on the side. Another professional woman - a medical doctor - enjoyed being the third in MFF situations.

I’m no longer dating either of them, but they confirmed to me that the lifestyle is alive and well in the DC area.

I know lots of cheaters and couples where they both cheat, semi-openly. The only people I’ve ever met, in dc or elsewhere, who are poly or swingers and either don’t stay married long or reach the conclusion that it’s weird. The only long term swinger I know is a damaged person who was looking for an excuse to divorce her husband who she married young, and now she’s trapped in a cycle of unhealthy “open” relationships where she’s clearly being used in degrading ways for sex and pretends she feels empowered.

^I think I know the same person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

We swing with another couple None of us are unattractive or lead boring lives, I assure you

be mindful that personal conduct—including sexual behavior that may be viewed as a vulnerability (e.g., undisclosed swinging or other high-risk activities)—can be flagged during clearance reviews and may affect your eligibility to hold or retain a clearance. Clearance holders are expected to uphold high standards of trust and reliability both professionally and personally.

No worries, none of us require clearance

[Anonymous]

if couples trust each other enough to include each other instead of sneaking around and aren’t already circling the proverbial relationship drain I guess it works. a lot of communities have thriving swing circles you don’t know about because they know people will judge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

We swing with another couple None of us are unattractive or lead boring lives, I assure you

You are probably less attractive than you think. A close friend is a swinger and she has shown me pictures of couples she has hooked up with in DC and they are all very plain.

I've seen social gatherings of swingers. It's certainly not a selling point of the lifestyle if those are the choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swing every weekend but I usually strike out

Right there with you. Keep swinging for the fences. Eventually you will get a hit.

[Anonymous]

Well now there is Poly show
https://youtu.be/6IsUq119O1k?feature=shared

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised by the amount of threads that reference couples swinging. I just never thought it would be so common. How frequently do couples actually do it? We’re in Potomac and I just can’t imagine my neighbors and friends doing this, though I hear a lot about swinging happening in Potomac on this board. And how does it even get brought up when swingers are looking to engage another couple??

You’d be surprised what happens under the surface. I grew up in the 80s in an upper middle class neighborhood. There was the closeted gay doctor with a family that died of AIDS, another family man that slept with a prostitute at a convention and died of AIDS and two neighbors who had an affair with one another. The female of the pairing moved out of state with her family to get a fresh start. The wife of the man involved stayed in the family home and he moved out. These are just the ones I know about.