How common is swinging, really?

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone who's done it but I imagine they wouldn't probably tell others about it unless they think you were open to hearing about it or you yourself were part of the lifestyle. I'm sure it happens but maybe more often in random ways--like you have a friendship with another couple and drink a lot and try it. I wonder how many people do it often rather than an occasional or one-time thing? Like you go on an app and find each other type of stuff.

I think people definitely do more than you know so I assume these people exist and live around me. Over the years I have had friends tell me surprising stories about their sex lives like long-term affairs, meeting random strangers for a tryst at lunch, sex eith sex workers, three-ways, etc. I think lots of people have outside relationships, sometimes with partner's okay, sometimes not.

[Anonymous]

There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

Hot, hot, hot!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The swingers scene at the Chevy Chase Club is robust.

As if you’d know. You’re not a member anywhere.

[Anonymous]

I heard stories about upside down pineapples, cruises, and retirement communities.

I expect it's more common among the elderly than younger couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

Of course, these are close friends. We all talk, laugh, snorkel, pick out lunch spots, play cards, skip each other’s songs on the playlist etc. To clarify, it’s only happened one night of what is typically a 6 night vacation and of the four times it’s happened it’s been towards the end of the trip. Neither us or our friends engage in any swinging type things beyond our trip to the beach that I know of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

Of course, these are close friends. We all talk, laugh, snorkel, pick out lunch spots, play cards, skip each other’s songs on the playlist etc. To clarify, it’s only happened one night of what is typically a 6 night vacation and of the four times it’s happened it’s been towards the end of the trip. Neither us or our friends engage in any swinging type things beyond our trip to the beach that I know of.

Sorry, I meant do you connect emotionally with the other spouse when you are with them or is it transactional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

Of course, these are close friends. We all talk, laugh, snorkel, pick out lunch spots, play cards, skip each other’s songs on the playlist etc. To clarify, it’s only happened one night of what is typically a 6 night vacation and of the four times it’s happened it’s been towards the end of the trip. Neither us or our friends engage in any swinging type things beyond our trip to the beach that I know of.

Sorry, I meant do you connect emotionally with the other spouse when you are with them or is it transactional?

We’re respectful of each other’s relationships for sure, we don’t communicate during the year one on one, there’s my friend and I and then a group thread. These are what I’d consider my dearest friends, I love them, they love me, they love my partner, it’s emotional all year but sexual for a few hours if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I meant do you connect emotionally with the other spouse when you are with them or is it transactional?
We’re respectful of each other’s relationships for sure, we don’t communicate during the year one on one, there’s my friend and I and then a group thread. These are what I’d consider my dearest friends, I love them, they love me, they love my partner, it’s emotional all year but sexual for a few hours if that makes sense.


Do you and your husband later trade notes? Is there anything you get from the experience with the other husband that you wish your husband could provide?

[Anonymous]

Not OP but the questions above are very interesting.
I’ve come across someone who enjoyed threesomes. Slept with that person one of one. He claimed wanting a relationship but I found him incapable of connecting emotionally and highly perfunctional in bed. He was just technical, as if my body was just a toy. I found the encounter transactional and it didn’t continue into anything. But he claimed having a long term relationship prior where they “invited” girls and boys

I asked him that question why he needed it at all, why can’t one woman provide it? He responded all Ps are different: it’s really the variety that is turning on for him. And specific techniques that can only happen in threesomes (woman on woman interaction ) that’s a huge turn on for him.

[Anonymous]

Straight people are less adventurous and more puritanical in behaviors and judgments. Mist wouldn’t share that info unless they really trust you.

I’m guessing we all know someone that’s experimented with non traditional sex in some way. Be it swap, swing party, multiple partners, poly stuff, bi stuff, etc…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

This is wild!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I meant do you connect emotionally with the other spouse when you are with them or is it transactional?

We’re respectful of each other’s relationships for sure, we don’t communicate during the year one on one, there’s my friend and I and then a group thread. These are what I’d consider my dearest friends, I love them, they love me, they love my partner, it’s emotional all year but sexual for a few hours if that makes sense.


Do you and your husband later trade notes? Is there anything you get from the experience with the other husband that you wish your husband could provide?

No, we don’t trade notes but there was a place we rented with thin walls and there was a bit of a competition going on. It’s a new but familiar and very safe body that we get full access to for a few hours once a year if we’re lucky. It’s not better sex, it’s just different, hot and thrilling and comforting at the same time.