We have an epidemic of terrible parenting—what is the solution?

[Anonymous]

I'd argue it's not parents. I think the major difference now is the disruptive students. In previous generations the disruptive students would be expelled, disciplined or would have dropped out. Currently they just make teaching very difficult for the entire classroom and it goes on for years. My daughter's classroom has been evacuated multiple times for the same student but it's fine, everything is fine, nothing to see here.

[Anonymous]

In my experience as a teacher in a low income school, the big problem is not parenting philosophy. It’s chronic stress for both kids and families. It comes from both inside and outside the home. If you switched the parents but kept the jobs, housing, bank accounts and other resources like extended family and education, I think you would find that the parents themselves are not that different. There are some key factors like focus on reading and whether or not corporal punishment is used, but I don’t think those are decisive.

The main factor that differentiated my kids who did well and my kids who were wrecks was not intelligence, it was resilience to stress. The ones who could tune out distractions and upsetting stuff were successful and the ones who struggled to do that (myself among them!) were not.

There is a difference between a kid who is troubled and a kid who is a trouble-maker but I think you have trouble-makers everywhere. They can cause more chaos though in a low income school because everything is already closer to the edge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What precisely do you think is wrong with parenting today? Too permissive? Not attentive enough? Are you one of those people who wants to blame everything on working moms? Or maybe your focus is poor people having kids?

If you want to troll people into arguing with you, you have to lay out your provocation more clearly.

NP. I think the OP is suggesting that whether a school is "good" or "bad" depends mostly on the parents in the district. As a thought experiment, if the teachers in a "good" district were swapped with the teachers in a "bad" district, does the "good" district suddenly become bad (and vice versa)? Similarly, what if the "good" district and "bad" district exchanged physical schools? On the other hand, if the parents of the kids in the "good" district suddenly enrolled their kids in the "bad" district (and vice versa), how would those schools perform?

Is it though? After I saw the behavior of Loudoun County parents at school board meetings re: masking, I thought the parents in the district were horrible. But the schools there are highly rated.

Good point. But do those same parents, despite their behavior, put a lot of emphasis (and time / resources) on academic achievement? And do parents in the bad schools put less emphasis (and time / resources) on academic achievement? My hunch is that might explain the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wrong forum, since the OP isn't talking about schools at all.

It is about schools, because people are expecting teachers to work miracles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What precisely do you think is wrong with parenting today? Too permissive? Not attentive enough? Are you one of those people who wants to blame everything on working moms? Or maybe your focus is poor people having kids?

If you want to troll people into arguing with you, you have to lay out your provocation more clearly.

NP. I think the OP is suggesting that whether a school is "good" or "bad" depends mostly on the parents in the district. As a thought experiment, if the teachers in a "good" district were swapped with the teachers in a "bad" district, does the "good" district suddenly become bad (and vice versa)? Similarly, what if the "good" district and "bad" district exchanged physical schools? On the other hand, if the parents of the kids in the "good" district suddenly enrolled their kids in the "bad" district (and vice versa), how would those schools perform?

Is it though? After I saw the behavior of Loudoun County parents at school board meetings re: masking, I thought the parents in the district were horrible. But the schools there are highly rated.

Good point. But do those same parents, despite their behavior, put a lot of emphasis (and time / resources) on academic achievement? And do parents in the bad schools put less emphasis (and time / resources) on academic achievement? My hunch is that might explain the difference.

It depends on which demographic of low income parents you’re dealing with. In some areas, the parents may place value on academic achievement but struggle with English due to being recent immigrants. In other areas, you have poor (usually white) areas with their book banning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wrong forum, since the OP isn't talking about schools at all.

It is about schools, because people are expecting teachers to work miracles.

We get that OP is a teacher btiching about parents. If I came in here and wrote a post about an epidemic of terrible teachers, how well would that go?

I'd also love for the OP to describe the demographics of the parents that they are thinking of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with the premise.

There’s really no other cause to blame.

That's cute. There's a year and a quarter of fully remote "learning" to blame. That's a lot to catch up on and you can't put that on the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the teachers
It’s not the buildings
It’s not because the kids are “dumb” or “low IQ”

What is solution?

What is "it"? What is OP even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not the teachers
It’s not the buildings
It’s not because the kids are “dumb” or “low IQ”

What is solution?

What is "it"? What is OP even talking about?

Low test scores.

[Anonymous]

I agree. Parents are addicted to screens too and spend a lot of time on their phone instead of parenting. They are totally checked out from their kids. They don’t correct behavior, they don’t supplement education at home, there is no learning going on home bc kids are plopped in front of TV/iPad the minute they return home from school or an activity. There is very little parental engagement going on. Parents are even too lazy to actually cook food for their kids too now. Free school breakfast, free lunch, what next?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Parents are addicted to screens too and spend a lot of time on their phone instead of parenting. They are totally checked out from their kids. They don’t correct behavior, they don’t supplement education at home, there is no learning going on home bc kids are plopped in front of TV/iPad the minute they return home from school or an activity. There is very little parental engagement going on. Parents are even too lazy to actually cook food for their kids too now. Free school breakfast, free lunch, what next?

Lost me at the bolded. That is not what I meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Parents are addicted to screens too and spend a lot of time on their phone instead of parenting. They are totally checked out from their kids. They don’t correct behavior, they don’t supplement education at home, there is no learning going on home bc kids are plopped in front of TV/iPad the minute they return home from school or an activity. There is very little parental engagement going on. Parents are even too lazy to actually cook food for their kids too now. Free school breakfast, free lunch, what next?

Lost me at the bolded. That is not what I meant.

Are you OP? Because I have to tell you, your post reads like a (probably White) teacher complaining about the behavioral problems of high-poverty (probably Black) kids. The solution that I have seen suggested on this site by people with similar complaints is sterilization of poor women. Is that what you are hoping for?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with the premise.

Because it's easier to turn a blind eye to the fact that the parents are the source of the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Parents are addicted to screens too and spend a lot of time on their phone instead of parenting. They are totally checked out from their kids. They don’t correct behavior, they don’t supplement education at home, there is no learning going on home bc kids are plopped in front of TV/iPad the minute they return home from school or an activity. There is very little parental engagement going on. Parents are even too lazy to actually cook food for their kids too now. Free school breakfast, free lunch, what next?

Lost me at the bolded. That is not what I meant.

Are you OP? Because I have to tell you, your post reads like a (probably White) teacher complaining about the behavioral problems of high-poverty (probably Black) kids. The solution that I have seen suggested on this site by people with similar complaints is sterilization of poor women. Is that what you are hoping for?

You’re responding to the wrong poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. Parents are addicted to screens too and spend a lot of time on their phone instead of parenting. They are totally checked out from their kids. They don’t correct behavior, they don’t supplement education at home, there is no learning going on home bc kids are plopped in front of TV/iPad the minute they return home from school or an activity. There is very little parental engagement going on. Parents are even too lazy to actually cook food for their kids too now. Free school breakfast, free lunch, what next?

Lost me at the bolded. That is not what I meant.

Are you OP? Because I have to tell you, your post reads like a (probably White) teacher complaining about the behavioral problems of high-poverty (probably Black) kids. The solution that I have seen suggested on this site by people with similar complaints is sterilization of poor women. Is that what you are hoping for?

You’re responding to the wrong poster.

"I agree" poster is agreeing with the OP. I'm speaking to the OP, then. Is OP hoping for...idk....forced abortion according to IQ testing? Removal of children from their parents by force?