Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'd meet the income, height etc requirements ... but I'd be a little weirded out that the income is a 'requirement' ... and go with someone else. (married, so it's all hypothetical)

For me that kind of "income requirement" is a red flag and there's any number of words for that - gold digger, needy, high maintenance, etc...

The only way it would be reasonable or acceptable to have that kind of "income requirement" would be if SHE is either already wealthy or is making close to that much or more.

She is making an income in that range. That’s why it’s a requirement. She doesn’t want to subsidize her boyfriend. Makes perfect sense.

Looking back at OP looks like she actually makes way more than $250k. Maybe she’s the one who should be fooling around with 25 yr olds...

Totally! With that kind of money, you can afford to not care about theirs. You can find someone whose body/soul/brain/whatever you enjoy and pay for both of you to have nice times together. If more money is actually giving you fewer choices, you're doing something wrong.

I disagree. I have no interest in paying another adult’s way and would only want to be in a romantic relationship with my professional peers. Even if that means sacrificing on their body, lol. (Not OP, happily married to a professional peer with dadbod.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

Whoops, pew article: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/12/04/tying-the-knot-again-chances-are-theres-a-bigger-age-gap-than-the-first-time-around/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t need to be supported, your partner does not need to make 250k. This sounds like more like you are not attracted to men who make less money than you.

Realistically, almost no one is attracted to these men who make less.

“For richer, for poorer...” I know many highly successful women who make much more than their husbands, yet have happy marriages. I’m talking 20 plus years of marriage. It is more common than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

I'm really confused - is the claim that a 40 year old guy dating a 28 year girl isn't having sex with her? How do you think remarriages get started - this isn't India

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t need to be supported, your partner does not need to make 250k. This sounds like more like you are not attracted to men who make less money than you.

Realistically, almost no one is attracted to these men who make less.

“For richer, for poorer...” I know many highly successful women who make much more than their husbands, yet have happy marriages. I’m talking 20 plus years of marriage. It is more common than you think.

And I know many highly successful women who make much more than their husbands, and then still have to coordinate summer camps, keep on top of kids’ homework, hire and manage the nanny and housekeeper, etc, who are generally bitter and annoyed. Despite 20+ years of marriage with no thought of divorce.

When I was an intern someone at the tippy top of the organization had too much wine and told me, don’t let your husband quit. He’ll never run the household like a woman would have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

I'm really confused - is the claim that a 40 year old guy dating a 28 year girl isn't having sex with her? How do you think remarriages get started - this isn't India

Do you know what “causal sex” is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

I'm really confused - is the claim that a 40 year old guy dating a 28 year girl isn't having sex with her? How do you think remarriages get started - this isn't India

Do you know what “causal sex” is?

Sure, it's the sex I had before she eventually became my girlfriend, fiance and then wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

I'll chime in that I'm 42 and have spent the last six years since my divorce with GFs in their mid-to-late 20s. Most 20s women aren't interested, but the dating apps only even show you someone who is at least open to it by their age settings. Couldn't be easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

I'm really confused - is the claim that a 40 year old guy dating a 28 year girl isn't having sex with her? How do you think remarriages get started - this isn't India

Do you know what “causal sex” is?

Sure, it's the sex I had before she eventually became my girlfriend, fiance and then wife

Okay, no, that’s not what it means, but that does explain why we are talking past each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

PP here who said she’s on the road to cat ladydom. Men who meet her requirements either already have families and want someone to prioritize their own kids or in the case they’re childless they want to have their own kids. And they absolutely want someone younger. Maybe not a 20 year old, but certainly someone with a lot less baggage than OP. The fact that she also has a high powered career mostly works against her. Men generally don’t care about that. Someone who earns as much money as she’s requesting want companionship, not someone who’s also in a stressful work situation. OP is delusional. While there might be someone who meets her requirements that’s willing to wife her up or he serious with her, she’ll have better odds winning the lottery.

[Anonymous]

I dont think you are unreasonable for wanting these things, but you may not find it. You are looking for the tall, handsome, and wealthy man who is into divorced women with kids. This is going to be hard to come by. Not impossible, but this is not going to be 99% of what you find on dating sites.

Since you have a successful career and said to make well over 250k yourself, your best bet is going to be finding someone through your professional social network. You will likely need to be open to age 45+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

PP here who said she’s on the road to cat ladydom. Men who meet her requirements either already have families and want someone to prioritize their own kids or in the case they’re childless they want to have their own kids. And they absolutely want someone younger. Maybe not a 20 year old, but certainly someone with a lot less baggage than OP. The fact that she also has a high powered career mostly works against her. Men generally don’t care about that. Someone who earns as much money as she’s requesting want companionship, not someone who’s also in a stressful work situation. OP is delusional. While there might be someone who meets her requirements that’s willing to wife her up or he serious with her, she’ll have better odds winning the lottery.

Man I don’t know what social circle you live in but nothing here reflects my social circles. Men, being rational, like to have high income wives. Even men who make $500k for themselves. And men with kids date women with kids all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

This. Most men meeting OP's criteria who I know IRL don't want to start second families, so most women in their 20's won't work (but yes, the divorced players will go out with them and try to get laid). Women who don't want kids are problematic for these men who want serious relationships because they don't want to be stepmoms nor would they make good stepmoms. It seems perfectly reasonable to me that OP is looking for a financial peer who can pay for his share of the UMC pursuits for them to enjoy during their non-custody times and possibly grow into something more.

I do think that OP would have a better chance finding someone through her existing professional and social networks. OP, I would tell everyone what you're looking for and that you want to be set up. Good luck and I hope you find the right guy soon. Keep in mind that there are some bitter men on this board who become very volatile when a woman sets criteria that they can't meet. Some women too. It happens every time. Ignore them.