Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know where the 38 year old men who love kids, have a good heart, and are 6'2" and make 250k are?

They're happily married already.

Yes but their wives don't want to have swx anymore, so OP may be AE to find one after some give up and get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t need to be supported, your partner does not need to make 250k. This sounds like more like you are not attracted to men who make less money than you.

Realistically, almost no one is attracted to these men who make less.

“For richer, for poorer...” I know many highly successful women who make much more than their husbands, yet have happy marriages. I’m talking 20 plus years of marriage. It is more common than you think.

And I know many highly successful women who make much more than their husbands, and then still have to coordinate summer camps, keep on top of kids’ homework, hire and manage the nanny and housekeeper, etc, who are generally bitter and annoyed. Despite 20+ years of marriage with no thought of divorce.

When I was an intern someone at the tippy top of the organization had too much wine and told me, don’t let your husband quit. He’ll never run the household like a woman would have.

This is the combo that really irritates women. When they make more and their husband also sticks them with most of the housework and childcare. That makes women bitter and leads to many divorces.

[Anonymous]

Like it or not, there are far more women like OP in major cities than people realize. More and more professional women are refusing to be subordinate to men in personal relationships, but they aren't attracted to men who aren't at least their equals. I think there's hope for OP because quite a few men want more or less the same thing OP wants. However, this is a game of musical chairs and some professional women won't ever get a chair. More professionally successful men are willing to date professionally unsuccessful women than the other way around, I think, and when you're talking about successful professionals under the age of 45, it seems like men don't outnumber women much if at all.

[Anonymous]

I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

[Anonymous]

Your dating pool will be smaller because you have very high standards. That said, it is your right to have your standards. You may meet someone that meets your criteria or you may not.

I do not think there is one place you can go to meet the people you are attracted to. Dating is a numbers game and there is a lot of luck involved. Socialize as much as you can (weddings, parties, etc). I think looking within your extended social circle is your best bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL, #2 and #4 tell me all I need to know about you and it ain't pretty. Glad you don't have plans to do anymore procreating. I'm sure you can find someone as ridiculous as you if you keep at it.

NP here. It is horrible how hurtful some of these comments are. OP's post is reasonable, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Not OP, but I love your post. Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Good for you. I see no reason for women to lower their standards despite a bunch of people on this board angry that some women don't have to.

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem to value qualities in men that are not really important for a successful relationship. You are interested in outward signs like income, height, number of kids or desire for more kids and nothing else. Financial Success and ability to make money have nothing to do with being a great reliable partner, kind empathetic person, great lover. Relationship is not a business deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

Second marriages have a >50% divorce rate. These are not quality, long-lasting relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

This was about casual sex, and specifically NOT about remarriage.

I'm really confused - is the claim that a 40 year old guy dating a 28 year girl isn't having sex with her? How do you think remarriages get started - this isn't India

Do you know what “causal sex” is?

I only know what casual sex is. You’re going to have to explain “causal sex”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Good for you. I see no reason for women to lower their standards despite a bunch of people on this board angry that some women don't have to.

Make your standards work. Land that tall rich guy. Tell OP where she can meet hers.

[Anonymous]

I’m a successful professional woman married to a successful professional man and neither of us make anything approaching $250k. I think that is such a weird disqualification. Since you make such a high income on your own, why in the world does that matter so much in a partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like it or not, there are far more women like OP in major cities than people realize. More and more professional women are refusing to be subordinate to men in personal relationships, but they aren't attracted to men who aren't at least their equals. I think there's hope for OP because quite a few men want more or less the same thing OP wants. However, this is a game of musical chairs and some professional women won't ever get a chair. More professionally successful men are willing to date professionally unsuccessful women than the other way around, I think, and when you're talking about successful professionals under the age of 45, it seems like men don't outnumber women much if at all.

But when you define “equals” solely by income, you’ve lost the plot. I know lots of people who make $250k+ at inconsequential corporate jobs, while in academia, leaders in the field make less. I respect the endowed chair of a university department much more than the VP of regional sales at some boring bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

Second marriages have a >50% divorce rate. These are not quality, long-lasting relationships.

Isn’t the divorce rate for first marriages about the same?

My second marriage (which is also DH’s second) is already longer than my first one and much happier from the start. My second marriage has weathered teens, us both facing grave diagnoses, a pandemic. I’d call that quality.