Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

Second marriages have a >50% divorce rate. These are not quality, long-lasting relationships.

The Marriage Foundation think-tank has produced a report revealing that second marriages are more stable than first marriages, challenging the widely held belief that couples who remarry are doomed to repeat the mistakes from their first marriage.

Almost half – 45 per cent – of all couples who marry for the first time in 2013 will divorce during their lifetime. However, divorced couples who marry for the second time have only a 31% chance of their marriage ending in divorce, according to Harry Benson, Communications Director at The Marriage Foundation and author of the report.

https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/research/second-marriages-are-less-likely-to-end-in-divorce-than-first/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

Second marriages have a >50% divorce rate. These are not quality, long-lasting relationships.

The Marriage Foundation think-tank has produced a report revealing that second marriages are more stable than first marriages, challenging the widely held belief that couples who remarry are doomed to repeat the mistakes from their first marriage.

Almost half – 45 per cent – of all couples who marry for the first time in 2013 will divorce during their lifetime. However, divorced couples who marry for the second time have only a 31% chance of their marriage ending in divorce, according to Harry Benson, Communications Director at The Marriage Foundation and author of the report.

https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/research/second-marriages-are-less-likely-to-end-in-divorce-than-first/

NP. That's great and all, and good for them, but what about their kids? They had to go through the trauma of divorce, and now have to endure complex family dynamics and split-holiday logistics, which only gets more complex when they get married. Oh great, stepmom is mad that we won't be there for Thanksgiving, and my new MIL expects us to be at her house. Fun times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

The hubris of modern women. OPs request is the equivalent of a middle age divorced man insisting that he’ll only date someone with supermodel looks. And somehow a crowd of women here think this is empowering. All this empowers is a generation of women ending up single and complaining about there being no good men available. Maybe OP will find her diamond in the rough, and maybe that middle aged divorcée will land his supermodel, but on the whole those are delusional expectations.

[Anonymous]

Did op ever return?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

This is so rude. I was unsure of marriage. I did not want to go through with it. I did anyway. There were no vows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

This is so rude. I was unsure of marriage. I did not want to go through with it. I did anyway. There were no vows.

So you want accolades for your stupidity? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

This is so rude. I was unsure of marriage. I did not want to go through with it. I did anyway. There were no vows.

So you want accolades for your stupidity? No.

I am not OP. People really underestimate social and family pressure to marry as well as how women are raised to put their feelings aside and please others over themselves. Unless you were raised this way, you will never understand. I do not shame people for getting a divorce. I do not shame people for wanting to be loved if they made a mistake. You are horribly rude and judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Isn't this how everyone feels? I'm divorced and no one that I meet seems desperate or willing to put up with anyone's sh!t

It seems that everyone has their own baseline standards that are (admit it or not) flexible depending on how attractive someone else is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

Second marriages have a >50% divorce rate. These are not quality, long-lasting relationships.

The Marriage Foundation think-tank has produced a report revealing that second marriages are more stable than first marriages, challenging the widely held belief that couples who remarry are doomed to repeat the mistakes from their first marriage.

Almost half – 45 per cent – of all couples who marry for the first time in 2013 will divorce during their lifetime. However, divorced couples who marry for the second time have only a 31% chance of their marriage ending in divorce, according to Harry Benson, Communications Director at The Marriage Foundation and author of the report.

https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/research/second-marriages-are-less-likely-to-end-in-divorce-than-first/

NP. That's great and all, and good for them, but what about their kids? They had to go through the trauma of divorce, and now have to endure complex family dynamics and split-holiday logistics, which only gets more complex when they get married. Oh great, stepmom is mad that we won't be there for Thanksgiving, and my new MIL expects us to be at her house. Fun times.

My kids have been very happy in our blended family because DH and I have prioritized the kids. I negotiated a holiday schedule during my divorce and we have stuck with it. No hard feelings and much easier on all of us than the tense holidays during my first marriage when I was physically ill over having to pretend we were happy (or that any of the marriages at that table were happy). DC’s Cousin’s don’t even come for Thanksgiving anymore and they are only in their 20s because they can’t stand their parents faking that they love each other.

[Anonymous]

The posters super invested in the idea that second marriages are doomed must be people in truly miserable marriages who have to convince themselves or their spouse to stick it out.

Personally, I’d rather be twice divorced and happy than married once and miserable until one of us dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

This is so rude. I was unsure of marriage. I did not want to go through with it. I did anyway. There were no vows.

You said vows of lifelong fidelity and companionship and family you didn't mean to another human being, and I'M rude? GTFO.

"There were no vows?" Yes, actually, there were, even if it was just courthouse legalese. You are trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who make 250k plus don’t want to marry a divorced mother of two. Sure there might be a few exceptions, but the universe of men who meet OPs requirements is vanishingly small, and out of those men the ones willing to be serious with her might as well be zero. OP needs to either lower her standards or start accumulating cats.

Normal men want women their own age and in similar places in life. It’s actually the rare guy chasing a childless 20 something woman to launch a second family.

When a single guy with $250k+ is chasing childless 20 somethings it's for sex, not for having a family.

What kind of 20 something wants to have casual sex with a divorced dad pushing 40 cruising around Vienna, VA in his 2015 350i? It’s a really weird trope on this board, that this is something 25 yr old girls want. 25 yr old girls want 25 yr old guys.

It's most definitely not just a "weird trope on this board." I met my second wife when I was 32 and she was 24. This pew research article indicates that 38% of remarried men have a wife at least 6 years younger than them, with a huge 20% at more than 10 years younger. More remarried women actually have older spouses than younger. In addition, men between 45 and 64 have twice the remarriage rate as women (i.e. - divorced women of that age are twice as likely to remain unmarried).

Second marriages have a >50% divorce rate. These are not quality, long-lasting relationships.

The Marriage Foundation think-tank has produced a report revealing that second marriages are more stable than first marriages, challenging the widely held belief that couples who remarry are doomed to repeat the mistakes from their first marriage.

Almost half – 45 per cent – of all couples who marry for the first time in 2013 will divorce during their lifetime. However, divorced couples who marry for the second time have only a 31% chance of their marriage ending in divorce, according to Harry Benson, Communications Director at The Marriage Foundation and author of the report.

https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/research/second-marriages-are-less-likely-to-end-in-divorce-than-first/

NP. That's great and all, and good for them, but what about their kids? They had to go through the trauma of divorce, and now have to endure complex family dynamics and split-holiday logistics, which only gets more complex when they get married. Oh great, stepmom is mad that we won't be there for Thanksgiving, and my new MIL expects us to be at her house. Fun times.

My kids have been very happy in our blended family because DH and I have prioritized the kids. I negotiated a holiday schedule during my divorce and we have stuck with it. No hard feelings and much easier on all of us than the tense holidays during my first marriage when I was physically ill over having to pretend we were happy (or that any of the marriages at that table were happy). DC’s Cousin’s don’t even come for Thanksgiving anymore and they are only in their 20s because they can’t stand their parents faking that they love each other.

You can tell yourself that all you want, but your kids have gone to sleep crying for mommy or daddy. And at one point or another, they did wonder if it was their fault. Adults like to downplay the trauma divorce has on their kids to avoid feeling guilty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

This is so rude. I was unsure of marriage. I did not want to go through with it. I did anyway. There were no vows.

So you want accolades for your stupidity? No.

I am not OP. People really underestimate social and family pressure to marry as well as how women are raised to put their feelings aside and please others over themselves. Unless you were raised this way, you will never understand. I do not shame people for getting a divorce. I do not shame people for wanting to be loved if they made a mistake. You are horribly rude and judgmental.

Please. Men learn to shut up very quickly about their problems. Society, men and women included, don’t care about men’s problems. By contrast to men’s problems the problems women face are given a front row seat.

If by “raised to put your feelings aside” you mean raised not to think the world revolves around you and to think about others on occasion then congratulations, that’s exactly how it should be. Men are also raised that way, but in an even more extreme way. Just look at tropes like “happy life, happy wife.” Who’s being given priority here in that saying, men or women?

[Anonymous]

pp. You just called another human trash for being divorced.

My ex husband was a football player. I married him 20 years ago before we knew about CTE. He started to drink, rage and threaten me physically after abusing me emotionally and financially for years.

I said my vows, I meant my vows, and I received an abusive partner who was sick, but sick in ways that the world cant see until after death. I divorced to protect my children and have primary custody.I wrote the above about choices being empowering. I dont care if you think I'm trash. I was handed a hard thing and I made the best of it, with my kids as my priority 100% of the way.