Where can I meet a 38+ guy that I’d actually be into dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:pp. You just called another human trash for being divorced.

My ex husband was a football player. I married him 20 years ago before we knew about CTE. He started to drink, rage and threaten me physically after abusing me emotionally and financially for years.

I said my vows, I meant my vows, and I received an abusive partner who was sick, but sick in ways that the world cant see until after death. I divorced to protect my children and have primary custody.I wrote the above about choices being empowering. I dont care if you think I'm trash. I was handed a hard thing and I made the best of it, with my kids as my priority 100% of the way.

Nope! I called her trash for knowingly making vows to another person that she knew, for sure, T the time that she did not mean.

Anyone who goes in with the pure intention to keep their vows but ends up divorced is just...divorces. That's fine. That's life.

But if you know you don't mean the vows and you get married anyway, knowing you are lying and likely going to ruin someone's life and tear up a family, you're trash. You are mocking the very institution.

BTW, I intended to stay married despite being miserable. You have no idea how bad it became. I had to leave. I never intended to "ruin" someone's life. In fact, he ruined mine. He turned out to be the opposite of the preson he pretended to be. That hesitation was my inner voice knowing something was truly off...I just could not see it yet. You are a horrible person making such terrible comments when you are just making huge assumptions.

Notice you still haven’t addressed what you mean by “there weren’t vows” when there...were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t need to be supported, your partner does not need to make 250k. This sounds like more like you are not attracted to men who make less money than you.

Realistically, almost no one is attracted to these men who make less.

WTF are you talking about? Who is this “almost no one”? I live in a wonderful community of financially secure people who likely do not make 250k. When I was dating it never occurred to me to look for a particular salary; it felt more important to find someone with a similar outlook and value system, and good communication. I think with those things in place, income disparity doesn’t have to be a barrier to a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:pp. You just called another human trash for being divorced.

My ex husband was a football player. I married him 20 years ago before we knew about CTE. He started to drink, rage and threaten me physically after abusing me emotionally and financially for years.

I said my vows, I meant my vows, and I received an abusive partner who was sick, but sick in ways that the world cant see until after death. I divorced to protect my children and have primary custody.I wrote the above about choices being empowering. I dont care if you think I'm trash. I was handed a hard thing and I made the best of it, with my kids as my priority 100% of the way.

Nope! I called her trash for knowingly making vows to another person that she knew, for sure, T the time that she did not mean.

Anyone who goes in with the pure intention to keep their vows but ends up divorced is just...divorces. That's fine. That's life.

But if you know you don't mean the vows and you get married anyway, knowing you are lying and likely going to ruin someone's life and tear up a family, you're trash. You are mocking the very institution.

BTW, I intended to stay married despite being miserable. You have no idea how bad it became. I had to leave. I never intended to "ruin" someone's life. In fact, he ruined mine. He turned out to be the opposite of the preson he pretended to be. That hesitation was my inner voice knowing something was truly off...I just could not see it yet. You are a horrible person making such terrible comments when you are just making huge assumptions.

Nope! This is what you said (if this wasn’t you, then I’m NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU):

“This is so rude. I was unsure of marriage. I did not want to go through with it. I did anyway. There were no vows.”

I did not want to go through with it; I did anyway. That is not “oh there was some nagging feeling I couldn’t quite place.” Nope, that was clear as day. I DID ANYWAY. That’s a choice, right there. Eyes open.

“There were no vows”? What the eff does THAT mean? Even if you are in a courthouse, there are vows. Whether they are simply legal, or legal and spiritual, there is no such thing as a marriage with no vows.

And if you make a vow knowing you don’t mean it, you are trash.

I am the immediate poster that you are responding to and there were no vows in my ceremony. There are ceremonies without vows. Stop judging other people and assuming you know everything about marriage weddings and what actually happens in a lot of marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:pp. You just called another human trash for being divorced.

My ex husband was a football player. I married him 20 years ago before we knew about CTE. He started to drink, rage and threaten me physically after abusing me emotionally and financially for years.

I said my vows, I meant my vows, and I received an abusive partner who was sick, but sick in ways that the world cant see until after death. I divorced to protect my children and have primary custody.I wrote the above about choices being empowering. I dont care if you think I'm trash. I was handed a hard thing and I made the best of it, with my kids as my priority 100% of the way.

Nope! I called her trash for knowingly making vows to another person that she knew, for sure, T the time that she did not mean.

Anyone who goes in with the pure intention to keep their vows but ends up divorced is just...divorces. That's fine. That's life.

But if you know you don't mean the vows and you get married anyway, knowing you are lying and likely going to ruin someone's life and tear up a family, you're trash. You are mocking the very institution.

BTW, I intended to stay married despite being miserable. You have no idea how bad it became. I had to leave. I never intended to "ruin" someone's life. In fact, he ruined mine. He turned out to be the opposite of the preson he pretended to be. That hesitation was my inner voice knowing something was truly off...I just could not see it yet. You are a horrible person making such terrible comments when you are just making huge assumptions.

Notice you still haven’t addressed what you mean by “there weren’t vows” when there...were.

My ceremony did not have vows. There was no “I do”

[Anonymous]

For the poster cannot believe that there aren’t any vows in a ceremony here’s some information you should know about because they are millions of weddings all over the world in which there are no vows here you go:

“ The Rite of Betrothal, in which rings are exchanged as a sign of commitment and devotion to one another.

The “Crowning,” in which crowns or wreaths [customs vary in each parish] are placed on or held above the heads of the bride and groom. This signifies that in marriage there is a certain amount of sacrifice, especially in the area of “give and take.” It also signifies that in a certain respect the bride and groom become the “king and queen” of their own “kingdom,” or family, which is an integral part of the Kingdom of God.

The sharing of a common cup of wine, which signifies that in marriage all things are shared equally.

The procession around the sacramental table, during which the priest leads the couple three times as they take their first steps together as husband and wife.

The removal of the crowns and the final blessing, in which all gathered wish the couple many years of blessings.

There are no “vows” in the Orthodox ritual, as found in other confessions”

And regardless of whether there are vows or not they’re are in very solid reason for people to get a divorce in a marriage is really really bad. And probably you can’t believe but there are a lot of instances which you cannot plan for and you have no idea what was coming.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, you're taking the OP waaay too literally. She's not saying the person must make exactly $250K or more, she is implying that the person should be on the same financial level as her.

She prefers tall guys; wants someone who is a successful business person; doesn't want to have more kids at this point in her life, etc. These parameters aren't outrageous at all.

Aren't there personalized dating services? Maybe try one for executives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, you're taking the OP waaay too literally. She's not saying the person must make exactly $250K or more, she is implying that the person should be on the same financial level as her.

She prefers tall guys; wants someone who is a successful business person; doesn't want to have more kids at this point in her life, etc. These parameters aren't outrageous at all.

Aren't there personalized dating services? Maybe try one for executives?

“ I think the lowest I could go from an income perspective would be about $250k for a single guy or that equivalent after alimony and child support has been deducted”

Her words. $250k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Slow clap.

So when you do get married again, are you going to add "this time, for real" to your vows?

This is so rude. I was unsure of marriage. I did not want to go through with it. I did anyway. There were no vows.

You said vows of lifelong fidelity and companionship and family you didn't mean to another human being, and I'M rude? GTFO.

"There were no vows?" Yes, actually, there were, even if it was just courthouse legalese. You are trash.

WOW. You are crazy. Many, many people are pressured into getting married. You must have have been raised traditionally. Many of these bad marriages last and you think there is some award for it. Unbelievable. Marriage is always a risk. It is not 100% whether there are vows said or not. Many people get to an age where they feel like they "should" or everyone says they "should"--especially for women. You are out of touch with how a lot of women are raised.

PP seems to have a screw loose. You can’t rationalize with a crazy person, so don’t even bother. The people who are trash are those who judge others. I can’t imagine being in a marriage, even a great one, where you feel like you are stuck forever no matter what happens is a good feeling. I have no intention of getting divorced, but I breathe easier knowing if DH suddenly turned into an a super/alcoholic/cheater, I wouldn’t be stuck. These things happen every day to people who think they’ll never happen to them. Just read these boards and you’ll see such stories!

No one is saying you should stay with someone who, say, later in life BECOMES an alcoholic or starts cheating or hitting or whatnot. No one should stay in a bad marriage.

But if you KNEW YOU DIDN’T MEAN THE VOWS WHEN YOU SAID THEM, wow, talk about “having a screw loose.”

And notice that no one has yet attempted to explain what “there were no vows” means. Hmm? Anyone care to justify or rationalize that little phrase?

I'm a new poster. I just wanted to say you're embarrassing yourself and should probably go take a xanax or a nap.

+1. That poster is psycho and her husband is probably cheating on her right now.

[Anonymous]

Please ignore the nasty posters!

They are just trying to get a rise out of you, and inflict fresh pain, or they're mentally disturbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its really awesome to run into you OP, and the other women here like you/us.

Its funny to watch people to get all twisted up in outrage when women who have been told "no one will want you or your brat kids" or, "you'll be traded in for a younger model" forever on this board flip the script.

Folks, not only are women like this around, but there are plenty of us. We have had our kids, we have our own money, and as a bunch, statistics show we have much richer community/friend relationships and hobbies than our married female counterparts, or our single male counterparts. Thanks to my every other weekend ex, I have tons of time to learn grow and explore, and I use it well. I'm not lonely as I have primary custody of three teens, they are fun and funny and we are a great team.

We can afford to be selective and make our dating pool small, because we don't need you anymore, men. If one of you comes along who can make our world better, great! Lets go. I cannot wait to find a man who can bring like or similar things to the table as I can. I know they exist and I know they are rare, and there is no alternative for me but to wait as I wont settle again.

Women like us have been given choices, and with those choices more and more women are choosing to enjoy their rich full lives and their disposable income WITHOUT a man, rather than to take whatever sad sack man offered himself up to us in middle age.

Choices are empowering.

Good for you. I see no reason for women to lower their standards despite a bunch of people on this board angry that some women don't have to.

Make your standards work. Land that tall rich guy. Tell OP where she can meet hers.

I'm still married. If anything ever happened to my husband, then I would have income or wealth standards for a man too. I would have enough money to have a great lifestyle and I wouldn't be willing to support a man or do without luxuries. So . . . that means he would have to have enough money to pay his own way.

I don't think that it would be that hard for OP to find a man meeting her criteria if she uses the network of people she knows to get dates. The only issue I see is that many men earning $400K+ don't care about a woman's income or wealth, so her wealth doesn't get her any more consideration than another similar woman (education, looks, etc.) who happens to have less money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:





Please ignore the nasty posters!

They are just trying to get a rise out of you, and inflict fresh pain, or they're mentally disturbed.

Or both.