Husband making comments about my dad's will

[Anonymous]

people who don't have the luxury of (potential) generational wealth always come out on these threads to complain and shame. They don't understand it and they don't want others to have what they can't have. It's a human reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:people who don't have the luxury of (potential) generational wealth always come out on these threads to complain and shame. They don't understand it and they don't want others to have what they can't have. It's a human reaction.

Or maybe we just have a sound moral perspective that your entitled ass doesn’t have. It’s amazing how those with the most are also the most selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband lives in the real world and seems to be the only one making sense.

What is the rush for someone approaching 70 to re-marry??

AMEN

So she can have her name on everything

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be happy if either my parent or my ex remarried, but what can one do? If your dad was smart he would just live with his girlfriend or even date her, not remarry. But he is doing it so what can you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost my mother last year after she battled cancer for several years, and this year my father decided to remarry. We are all happy for him. My mother's family has also given their blessings. My husband made a comment initially about "rebound" and told me to tell my dad to take it slow. I took his concerns seriously and talked to my dad. My dad felt that he had made a well thought out decision in the right frame of mind and felt good about moving forward. I told him I supported him.

When I mentioned this conversation with my husband, to my surprise, he didn't seem to agree with me. He said, parents are like kids sometimes, you just have to tell them what to do. This is not the relationship I have with my father.

A few days ago I told my husband the date for the wedding (we will watch on zoom). He asked me if I had talked to my father about his will. Would his new wife be the beneficiary? What about her kids from a previous marriage? My response to my husband was that if there is a change to my dad's will he would let me know but I am not going to ask.

Now I feel my husband has been playing a game all along. This is very hurtful and petty. To add to it all, the other day my husband asked me with a smirk how old my new step mother is and whether she is that much older than us. (she is 58, my dad is 68). I just said, "I don't know, I have not asked."

My father spent years caring for my ailing mother. Waking up nights with her, taking her to the hospital for her treatments. He deserves this and so much more. It is shocking to see my husband behave like this.

Are people reading the entire post??? Your mom died just last year and he's already getting married?! Yes this is a bad warning sign, and your husband seems to be the only one to understand what it all entails. Honestly he should have waited a year to start dating, something isn't adding up here OP.
Has anyone checked out this woman's background? I'm sure she's fine, but there's a lot of elder abuse with older men that rush into marriages with younger woman. Whose idea was it to get married this fast?

OP's husband is probably leery, because he knows how the male mind works. According to OP, dad spent years taking care of his dear ill wife. That is 100% commendable. Now, he's rushing into marriage, because he wants to have some fun in his looming golden years with a younger woman who will be able to take care of him. Fine, whatever. He's being completely foolish about marrying her though.

OP, is your future stepmom retired? I'm close to her age, and at 58, I wouldn't think so. He's going to tell her to retire early, because he wants her around, and he'll tell her not to worry about the money. He'll take care of things. A 58 year old woman knows how these things work. I doubt this family friend jumped into the relationship, because your dad is a nice guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost my mother last year after she battled cancer for several years, and this year my father decided to remarry. We are all happy for him. My mother's family has also given their blessings. My husband made a comment initially about "rebound" and told me to tell my dad to take it slow. I took his concerns seriously and talked to my dad. My dad felt that he had made a well thought out decision in the right frame of mind and felt good about moving forward. I told him I supported him.

When I mentioned this conversation with my husband, to my surprise, he didn't seem to agree with me. He said, parents are like kids sometimes, you just have to tell them what to do. This is not the relationship I have with my father.

A few days ago I told my husband the date for the wedding (we will watch on zoom). He asked me if I had talked to my father about his will. Would his new wife be the beneficiary? What about her kids from a previous marriage? My response to my husband was that if there is a change to my dad's will he would let me know but I am not going to ask.

Now I feel my husband has been playing a game all along. This is very hurtful and petty. To add to it all, the other day my husband asked me with a smirk how old my new step mother is and whether she is that much older than us. (she is 58, my dad is 68). I just said, "I don't know, I have not asked."

My father spent years caring for my ailing mother. Waking up nights with her, taking her to the hospital for her treatments. He deserves this and so much more. It is shocking to see my husband behave like this.

Are people reading the entire post??? Your mom died just last year and he's already getting married?! Yes this is a bad warning sign, and your husband seems to be the only one to understand what it all entails. Honestly he should have waited a year to start dating, something isn't adding up here OP.
Has anyone checked out this woman's background? I'm sure she's fine, but there's a lot of elder abuse with older men that rush into marriages with younger woman. Whose idea was it to get married this fast?

Did you skip right over the part where the OP said her mother was ailing for years before she passed? It’s not like mom dropped dead out of the blue and dad is rushing to the altar the day after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's not wrong tho....to ask about the will.

If your dad remarries, I'd be prepared not to get any inheritance from him. And it there is anything of your mother's that she would have wanted you to have, or that is important to you, this is the time to ask for it. This new wife might be a blessing to your dad and the rest of the family, but there's also a chance that she will box up your family keepsakes and inherit them when your dad is gone.

Yes, do this. Congratulations to OP on her healthy attitude toward her dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

...

With regard to my father's new wife - she is a friend of the family. We have known her for a long time.

But in your first post you said:

Anonymous wrote:

To add to it all, the other day my husband asked me with a smirk how old my new step mother is and whether she is that much older than us. (she is 58, my dad is 68). I just said, "I don't know, I have not asked."

None of this makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Your Husband is right. Don’t let this new woman fleece your father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:people who don't have the luxury of (potential) generational wealth always come out on these threads to complain and shame. They don't understand it and they don't want others to have what they can't have. It's a human reaction.

Betty Draper to Don: "I know you were ashamed of being poor, I see how you are with money, I know you don't understand it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:people who don't have the luxury of (potential) generational wealth always come out on these threads to complain and shame. They don't understand it and they don't want others to have what they can't have. It's a human reaction.

Or maybe we just have a sound moral perspective that your entitled ass doesn’t have. It’s amazing how those with the most are also the most selfish.

How is not wanting your step-mother’s children to inherit YOUR family heirlooms selfish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your Husband is right. Don’t let this new woman fleece your father.

+1. Take it from someone whose father got totally screwed by his “stepmother” when my grandfather died a few years after he married his second wife. And this is a woman who the family knew for decades before they got married. Have the conversation OP. My father still resents his dad 30 years after his death because of what happened with the will. My dad ended up paying half of the funeral costs and inherited 1/4 of what he should have.

If either of my parents ever get remarried, I will 100 percent having the conversation. I’m happy your dad is happy but you have to be realistic. This is your mother’s money too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your Husband is right. Don’t let this new woman fleece your father.

+1. Take it from someone whose father got totally screwed by his “stepmother” when my grandfather died a few years after he married his second wife. And this is a woman who the family knew for decades before they got married. Have the conversation OP. My father still resents his dad 30 years after his death because of what happened with the will. My dad ended up paying half of the funeral costs and inherited 1/4 of what he should have.

If either of my parents ever get remarried, I will 100 percent having the conversation. I’m happy your dad is happy but you have to be realistic. This is your mother’s money too.

And if I were OP’s dad I’d laugh in your face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband lives in the real world and seems to be the only one making sense.

What is the rush for someone approaching 70 to re-marry??

AMEN

So she can have her name on everything

So grandpa can get his d wet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

...

With regard to my father's new wife - she is a friend of the family. We have known her for a long time.

But in your first post you said:

Anonymous wrote:

To add to it all, the other day my husband asked me with a smirk how old my new step mother is and whether she is that much older than us. (she is 58, my dad is 68). I just said, "I don't know, I have not asked."

None of this makes sense.

Thank you. I don't know if this is a Troll or not. She was never a friend of the family if that's true, lol. You don't hit on your friends, nor marry them.

If your mother recently died last year then when the heck did they start dating OP? While your mother was still alive and sick?

Her husband I suspect is disgusted as most would be if all this is true. Yes maybe "dad" knew her a long time....