Husband making comments about my dad's will
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Anonymous
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I lost my mother last year after she battled cancer for several years, and this year my father decided to remarry. We are all happy for him. My mother's family has also given their blessings. My husband made a comment initially about "rebound" and told me to tell my dad to take it slow. I took his concerns seriously and talked to my dad. My dad felt that he had made a well thought out decision in the right frame of mind and felt good about moving forward. I told him I supported him.
When I mentioned this conversation with my husband, to my surprise, he didn't seem to agree with me. He said, parents are like kids sometimes, you just have to tell them what to do. This is not the relationship I have with my father. A few days ago I told my husband the date for the wedding (we will watch on zoom). He asked me if I had talked to my father about his will. Would his new wife be the beneficiary? What about her kids from a previous marriage? My response to my husband was that if there is a change to my dad's will he would let me know but I am not going to ask. Now I feel my husband has been playing a game all along. This is very hurtful and petty. To add to it all, the other day my husband asked me with a smirk how old my new step mother is and whether she is that much older than us. (she is 58, my dad is 68). I just said, "I don't know, I have not asked." My father spent years caring for my ailing mother. Waking up nights with her, taking her to the hospital for her treatments. He deserves this and so much more. It is shocking to see my husband behave like this. |
Anonymous
| He is being a jerk and you should tell him point blank to butt out. I think you have the right attitude about not wanting to tell your dad how to live his life. It sounds like you have a good relationship with him and want him to be happy. That’s wonderful and you shouldn’t apologize for it or engage with your DH over his stupid comments. |
Anonymous
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Some people are truly awful when parents start dating. My dad was single for over 25 years, and when he finally found someone to be with (and he was SO happy), my siblings all flipped out. My sister said "well there goes my inheritance", walked out of the house, and did not speak to him for months. She and my mom then orchestrated an entire plan to break them up, which sadly will probably be successful.
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Anonymous
| He's not wrong tho....to ask about the will. |
Anonymous
But this is not even his parent! Shut him down OP. Your dad’s remarriage and your potential inheritance is none of your DH’s business. If you ever do get an inheritance, keep it separate and do not co-mingle it with your husband’s assets. It sounds like your DH is already spending in his mind $ he has no rights to for many reasons. |
Anonymous
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What is the rush to marry? Wait for vaccine and celebrate with people in six months.
Your husband could have been kinder, but a newly widowed person getting married within a year during a pandemic sets off red flags. If she was well known to family, makes sense. Is she a new person in his life? |
Anonymous
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Your husband sounds petty and passive-aggressive, but you should talk to your father once about his will. Ask him to make sure he specifies anything he wants you to have, especially anything of your mother’s that you would like after he is gone.
Congratulations! You sound like a wonderful daughter and I wish your dad happiness. |
Anonymous
| I think asking about his will and any prenup is a good idea if your Dad has any kind on money. I have seen several families tour apart by issues resulting from late in life marriages and issues around inheritance. I wouldn't approach it in a "I want my money" type of way but in a "planning for your future" type way. |
Anonymous
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Ha! You’ll be on here in a couple of decades bereft over the lose of your father and how all of the wealth accumulated during your parents’ marriage is ending up in the hands of the new wife’s children. Then you’ll be complaining about how you can’t even get sentimental pieces your mother owned out of the hands of your widowed “step-mom.”
Happens every damn day. It’s a good thing you don’t seem to care! |
Anonymous
If your dad remarries, I'd be prepared not to get any inheritance from him. And it there is anything of your mother's that she would have wanted you to have, or that is important to you, this is the time to ask for it. This new wife might be a blessing to your dad and the rest of the family, but there's also a chance that she will box up your family keepsakes and inherit them when your dad is gone. |
Anonymous
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He's being a jerk. It's none of your business and CERTAINLY none of HIS business.
It sucks when parents remarry and leave us out of the will but it is what it is. |
Anonymous
Of course he is. It's not his money. |
Anonymous
| Good for you. You have exactly the right attitude. Your husband is being a greedy jerk. Tell him flat out that you are not counting on a penny of inheritance, so he shouldn’t either. Tell him that your father‘s happiness is all that matters to you, and you don’t want to hear another word from him about it. I’m sorry he’s being so awful. |
Anonymous
This. Ask for what you want that belonged to your mom now. |
Anonymous
| Wow you husband is a jerk. The will is none of his business. He’s not entitled to a cent regardless of whether or not your dad remarries. I’m in a similar boat in that my mom died a really horrible death from cancer. I’m surprised your husband isn’t more aware of what your dad went through? Until you are close to it you can’t understand, but your husband should be able to. My dad has a new partner and while it hurts, it’s so nice not to have him be alone. |