"Fast" kids -- how do they get that way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Their bodies may be mature for sex, their emotions and brain cannot handle the long term impact of having sex too early. Are you for real? You sound like a very irresponsible person.

[Anonymous]

A child having sex at 15 is not fast. That child is just an extremely unfortunate child with horrible parents. That kid is to be pitied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Their bodies may be mature for sex, their emotions and brain cannot handle the long term impact of having sex too early. Are you for real? You sound like a very irresponsible person.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Yes, and it’s creepy that you don’t know this.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this, but I have a boy:

My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Dp. Yep. My two sisters and I waited by choice. I started having sex at 19- I had opportunities to around 15. My very attractive older sister waited until 20 even though she had lots of attention around 14. My younger sister waited until 20 too even though she had "boyfriends" around 12.

The key was our personalities and my dad's "indoctrination". We have cautious personalities. We were/are very close to our dad, and he gently but consistently indoctrinated us with "wait for as long as possible-sex is high risk/low reward."

My mother and her siblings are split in two groups. Those who had sex early have a completely different personalities than the others. They "enjoy life" more(thier words). They are more carefree, trusting and usually downplay any potentially negative outcomes(even in business dealings).

I have a good friend who was sexually active at 14. She did not necessarily get more opportunities than I did when we were younger. She is just not as risk averse as I am.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the other posters, the ones I know all have older siblings (often significantly older).

[Anonymous]

My uncle called me ‘fast’ because we rode bikes alongside the neighborhood boys, and he assumed because I was adopted(@11) I was the one always inviting them. (Not that riding bikes with boys is wrong, but I did not have the courage)

He and his wife was the god family for a girl my age which they always scheduled play dates with.

They screwed up that girls development more than I could ever did:
-Put her on every weightloss program they could find
-Alcoholics (both of them)
-Kept a mistress in plain sight only to run off with her (after years)
-Never spoke to her after having a kid with mistress

Worst thing we ever did on our time:
- wake up to Girls gone wild Infomercial where we both watched in excitement and confusion

She did not grow up to be a well functioning adult unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Their bodies may be mature for sex, their emotions and brain cannot handle the long term impact of having sex too early. Are you for real? You sound like a very irresponsible person.

Not the PP, but when I was in HS, I think about 80% of us were having sex. Maybe that is not the case today because relationships are different (or maybe it's because we have more control over where our kids are - who knows), but to pretend that kids having sex is a result of bad parenting is ridiculous. GenX generally had more freedom and opportunity to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Their bodies may be mature for sex, their emotions and brain cannot handle the long term impact of having sex too early. Are you for real? You sound like a very irresponsible person.

Not the PP, but when I was in HS, I think about 80% of us were having sex. Maybe that is not the case today because relationships are different (or maybe it's because we have more control over where our kids are - who knows), but to pretend that kids having sex is a result of bad parenting is ridiculous. GenX generally had more freedom and opportunity to do it.

A group of fast kids together is a group of fast kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Their bodies may be mature for sex, their emotions and brain cannot handle the long term impact of having sex too early. Are you for real? You sound like a very irresponsible person.

Not the PP, but when I was in HS, I think about 80% of us were having sex. Maybe that is not the case today because relationships are different (or maybe it's because we have more control over where our kids are - who knows), but to pretend that kids having sex is a result of bad parenting is ridiculous. GenX generally had more freedom and opportunity to do it.

It’s absolutely a result of bad parenting. Stupid, trashy parents raise stupid, trashy kids.

[Anonymous]

I went to college as a virgin in 1997. Me and only one other friend were the only virgins. Most of my college friends lost it at age 15-16, from upper middle class families and obviously college bound.

It just seems horrible to us as parents bc we still view our teens as kids. Those who view their teens who have sex as parenting failures end up with teens who are just lying to them.

That I was a virgin was not parenting - it was bc I was socially immature and awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Is this for real? A 15 year old having sex with a same age peer she's been in a long term relationship with is very much the definition of age appropriate. Sure, we as parents would like them all to wait until 18, but did any of us wait that long by choice?

Their bodies may be mature for sex, their emotions and brain cannot handle the long term impact of having sex too early. Are you for real? You sound like a very irresponsible person.

Not the PP, but when I was in HS, I think about 80% of us were having sex. Maybe that is not the case today because relationships are different (or maybe it's because we have more control over where our kids are - who knows), but to pretend that kids having sex is a result of bad parenting is ridiculous. GenX generally had more freedom and opportunity to do it.

It’s absolutely a result of bad parenting. Stupid, trashy parents raise stupid, trashy kids.

Oh, please. I went to Jamestown/Williamsburg/Yorktown and lived in 22207 until I went to college. My brother went to a well-known private school for HS that was not cheap. Most of our peers had lost it by 16 or 17, and plenty of us started earlier than that. It had nothing to do with our parents being stupid or trashy. It had to do with us being Gen X and a lot harder to track because no one had cellphones and only about half of us lived in houses with alarm systems, even in Country Club Hills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:-Older siblings is a BIG one. I saw it when my oldest child was young and in some ways I see my third child being mature for her age.

-Another one is early puberty, especially breast development in girls. One of my daughter's friends developed breasts at age 10. By age 11 older boys were showing an interest in her and she started noticing the attention and eventually reciprocated it. The boys completely ignored my daughter who was flat as can be until almost age 14. Had the boys been chasing her at 10 I'm sure we would have been dealing with everything at 11 too.

Don't be so sure. How deeply misguided and sexist could this comment be? There are many girls who hit puberty early. I was one of them. Did I get a lot of interest from boys? Yes. Did that make me fast? No. Did that make other girls in my grade who went through puberty early fast? No. In fact, for many of us, it was deeply disturbing to have that kind of attention (usually from older boys) at such a young age. If anything, it made many of us more guarded.

Don't be so sure you would have been "dealing with everything" due to early puberty. Truly offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD isn't "fast"
She has straight As doesn't drink
She did have a BF starting at age 14 however and began having sex with him at 15
She didn't end up pregnant or grades going down or doing drugs.
She isn't dating him anymore or anyone (covid and not going anywhere).
But they aren't all linked. We have liberal views about sex and dating.
But we don't about drugs or getting wasted or bad grades. So she stays in what we've created as her lane.

You can call it whatever you want, but a child having sex at 15 is fast. That is not healthy age-appropriate behavior based on our societal norms. The fact you’ve decided that’s the lane you’re creating in your household doesn’t change that. Any parent that hears this info about your daughter, and the fact this is an acceptable norm in your household, wouldn’t want their kid anywhere near yours.

Oh, please, dear, cite your authority for what is age-appropriate and what is consistent with social norms. Otherwise, this is just your judgy little opinion. Grow up.